Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
We should retain our anger in the face of injustice and not be shamed by that.
As a comedian you are making yourself vulnerable in order to make others happy.
Silence is so often applauded and those who speak out are often called tasteless.
Silence equals nonexistence. If I don't raise my voice, it's like I never existed.
I can never tell when something is funny. I just have to do it onstage and find out.
I became a comedian because I didn't want to be bullied anymore. Onstage I was safe.
It’s like your batteries get low, and you need to charge them on someone else’s story.
I’m not going to die because I failed as someone else. I’m going to succeed as myself.
Just because you are blind and unable to see my beauty doesn't mean it does not exist.
I'm lucky that I have good genetics. Like you said, it just gets better as I get older.
Comedy is a noble art. And every comedian who does anything is serving a noble purpose.
There's lot of social censorship now, especially in this era of ubiquitous social media.
I was like, Am I gay? Am I straight? And I realized...I'm just slutty. Where's my parade?
I thought I was so ugly for so long, and I wasted so much of my life on this dumb notion.
We women are constantly at war with our bodies, it is hard to find amnesty for ourselves.
I don't want to hurt anybody because of their looks. That's been used to hurt me so much.
If I'm talking to a guy who's straight and cute and single, I'm like 'are you a unicorn?'
I'm always too fat. And I always look terrible. But I love the theater of the red carpet.
I think that gay people should have the right to get married by Elvis like everybody else.
I really love Steve Martin and all the stuff he did in the '70s. I think it's really great.
Sometimes the only way to deal with horrific things in life is through a dark sense of humor.
Maybe I wanted to hear it so badly that my ears betrayed my mind in order to secure my heart.
I think it is really sad that when people lose their homes they kind of lose their minds too.
I could never make a joke about somebody unless I could say it to their face and they'd laugh.
If you really care about children then why would you want to keep families from adopting them?
I don't think I'm gay. I don't think I'm straight. I think I'm just slutty. Where's my parade?
My parents never really had that much money, so I kind of live in the same world that they do.
Comedians and people in general have a cultural right to talk about their own culture and race.
My inclination during sex always is to use sex toys. That's not something men are often used to.
One of my first jobs was on a lesbian cruise. I was the ship comedian for the Lesbian Love Boat.
I think that all bodies are beautiful in millions of different ways but I get down on myself too!
I love drugs, but I hate hangovers, and the hatred of the hangover wins by a landslide every time.
I was crazy about the song "Doot Doot," so I usually love this genre of weird, European electronic.
I think the best way to get over your body issues is to just flaunt your body at every opportunity.
Over half the world menstruates at one time or another, but you'd never know it. Isn't that strange?
The incognito of lower class employment is an effective cloak for any dagger one might wish to hide.
The newest victims of the nation's foreclosure crisis are pets, which is extremely distressing to me.
I always wonder why Republicans hate gay marriage, because they certainly don't hate gay prostitutes.
Privacy and security are those things you give up when you show the world what makes you extraordinary.
A lot of the actresses who were around when I started, I don't know where they are. Comics stick around.
It's good to be able to laugh at yourself and the problems you face in life. Sense of humor can save you.
People are really terrified of me. I don't know why, I'm very nice, but people are very intimidated by me.
Sometimes when we are generous in small, barely detectable ways it can change someone else's life forever.
Some people are that - more than a parent, more than a role model, more than anything less than a religion.
I grew up a witness to gay politics in its early days. I remember seeing Harvey Milk and been moved by him.
I got back from Toronto, where they had a severe outbreak of SARS - you know, Severe Asian Racism Syndrome.
For me to be ten pounds thinner is a full-time job, and I am handing in my notice and walking out the door!!
Christ's purpose was to really show how everyone can be loved and how everyone should be loved and accepted.
You have to adhere to a certain morality, a certain level of decorum, or else you'll be punished and labeled.
I think self-deprecation is such a disease, and I want to cure everybody of it and so that's my contribution.