When I was 23, I founded an organization called Dress for Success, which is now in more than 100 cities in 8 countries and has helped a million women transition from welfare to work.

When you hear the party that glorified Occupy Wall Street blast success; when you hear them minimize the genius of the men and women who make jobs out of nothing, is that what you teach your children about work?

I wish I could just go tell all the young women I work with, all these fabulous women, 'Believe in yourself and negotiate for yourself. Own your own success.' I wish I could tell that to my daughter. But it's not that simple.

Madonna is that forbidden thing, the Nietzschean creative woman. Her preoccupation with a high level of work doesn't allow her to follow the usual script that powerful women are expected to follow - 'don't hate me for my success, don't hate me for my power.'

I joined a very male-dominated profession back in 1986. I wanted to work with big multinational Fortune 500 companies, but you don't come into the firm and automatically get those. So, quite frankly, a key to my success was that I found male mentors and male sponsors. I think some women are afraid to say that.

What works for men does not always work for women, because success and likability are positively correlated for men and negatively correlated for women. That's what the research shows. As a man gets more successful, everyone is rooting for him. As a woman gets more successful, both men and women like her less.

Competition gives birth to a lot of success, and if no one ever challenged you, you wouldn't go anywhere. It makes sense to compete with others for a promotion at work. But so many women take it a step further and won't even support other women. They end up competing over things that don't make sense - like how we look.

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