Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
I wasn't always black... there was this freckle, and it got bigger and bigger.
Ours is a youth culture, and like a golf tournament, we honor only low scores.
Meadowlark and I share a common vision of bringing joy and laughter to others.
A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice.
Today's parents grew up with the silly notion that music was meant to be heard.
Most of us learn to read by looking at each word in a sentence - one at a time.
I've said all along I've never competed with 'The Simpsons.' Not in my own mind.
You don't know what you're going to fall in love with until you're exposed to it.
The only thing that you can get into without a lot of trouble is a lot of trouble.
But if that's what you want to be, that's what you will be - as long as you study.
Fatherhood is asking your son to make up a name rather than tell anybody who he is.
People will frighten you about a graduation....They use words you don't hear often.
You can teach an old dog new tricks. You just don't want to see the dog doing them.
Your parents put a curse on you - Someday your kids are going to act just like you.
It is a warning, Godspeed. It means you are no longer welcome here at these prices.
The truth is that parents are not really interested in justice. They just want quiet.
There is hope for the future because God has a sense of humor and we are funny to God.
A child who is disciplined will be more obedient and also more organized as a student.
I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.
Most fathers and... Mothers. Only your grandmother and Ghengis Khan know how to do it.
Beware of people who fall at your feet. They may be reaching for the corner of the rug.
You can't compete with Walmart. But you can have smaller businesses that are successful.
Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home.
I am not going to give in to people who try to exploit me because of my celebrity status.
Is the glass half full, or half empty? It depends on whether you're pouring, or drinking.
Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge.
With my wife Camille's help, I took to social networking. I'm working with the computers.
College was a wonderful time - except, of course, when it was trying to teach you things.
Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.
I want all this loud profanity in the street stopped. I want people to think about choices.
It isn't a matter of black is beautiful as much as it is white is not all that's beautiful.
My eleven year old daughter mopes around the house all day waiting for her breasts to grow.
If I didn't like poor people, why would I come and tell them how to make their lives better?
In spite of what Thomas Jefferson wrote, all men may be created equal, but not to all women.
You can never give complete authority and overall power to anyone until trust can be proven.
The three ingredients of a successful union between two ... humor, commitment & undying love.
George Booth and I are both funny, and from afar, without meeting, admired each other's work.
Nothing I've ever done has given me more joys and rewards than being a father to my children.
We've got too many young girls, who don't know how to parent, turning themselves into parents.
Learning to read clusters is not something your eyes do naturally. It takes constant practice.
When I was a boy if a girl got pregnant the shame was placed on her and the boy could get away.
'The Cosby Show' made an impact on comedy, television and culture. We rejected lowering the bar.
Having a child is surely the most beautifully irrational act that two people in love can commit.
I know people are tired of me not saying anything, but a guy doesn't have to answer to innuendos.
I did not want to turn to playing golf because golf is about as much exercise as shuffling cards.
We’ve got to get the gun out of the hands of people who are supposed to be on neighborhood watch.
We've got to get the gun out of the hands of people who are supposed to be on neighborhood watch.
I don't see much comedy in the Bible, where people are writing about funny people. It's not there.
Men and women belong to different species and communications between them is still in its infancy.
That married couples can live together day after day is a miracle that the Vatican has overlooked.