Quotes by Bob Newhart - Page 4

Marriage and fatherhood heighten the disillusion that we all think we are born handy. We confidently believe that we can fix things around the house, as if it's part of the collective brain that was further enhanced by eighth-grade shop class.
Bob Newhart / Stand-Up Comedian
Believe
Class
Thinking
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I am one of the great wasters of time. I have made it an art form. I can get up at 8 o'clock in the morning, be out of the house by 8:30 and back by 5 P.M., and I'll be going all day long and accomplish absolutely nothing. It's an amazing talent.
Bob Newhart / Stand-Up Comedian
Absolutely Nothing
Accomplish
Talent
All Day
Art Form
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I've always said people say on a dramatic show, 'I was crying. It was so emotional when he went and grabbed that little girl from a burning building and handed her over to her mother.' In comedy, the best thing you can say is, 'I think it's funny.'
Bob Newhart / Stand-Up Comedian
Burning
Dramatic
Funny Best Always
Funny Best People
Crying
Grabbed
Handed
Little Girl
People Say
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I don't know how doctors pick one specialty over another. Some you can understand. Pediatricians. Or gynecologists delivering babies, bringing a new life into the world, but how does someone want to be a proctologist? How can you fall in love with proctology?
Bob Newhart / Stand-Up Comedian
Delivering
Doctors
Fall
New Life
Specialty
Life Love World
Understand
Babies
Bringing
Pick
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I found the most difficult thing when you became successful - when I had the record album, it won Album of the Year - that you were cut off from the source of your material. Your material was everyday people, and you were kind of cut off from that, and you had to work at it.
Bob Newhart / Stand-Up Comedian
Difficult
Everyday
Successful
Work Your People
Album
Became
Cut
Difficult Thing
Won
Everyday People
Work Difficult People
Record
Material
Most Difficult Thing
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I always hated when the studios just kind of said that anybody can act. You look at people like Spencer Tracy, Henry Fonda - and I'm just talking about the male actors - there aren't a lot who can act. It's a very special talent, and I wish it were recognized as a very special talent.
Bob Newhart / Stand-Up Comedian
Hated
Said
Special
Studios
Talent
Talking
Tracy
Wish
Act
Actor
Male
Anybody
Look People Always
Fonda
Henry
Just Kind
Male Actors
Recognized
Spencer
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I always stayed away from political commentary. First of all, I didn't feel entitled. What I may feel about a candidate, I'm a comedian. I mean, if people like my comedy, that doesn't mean they should vote for the person I like. That's why I always kind of stayed away from endorsements.
Bob Newhart / Stand-Up Comedian
Comedian
Comedy
Commentary
Entitled
Vote
Political People Feel
Candidate
First Of All
Stayed
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I wasn't the class clown. I wasn't that obvious. There would be a circle of guys, and they're watching the class clown. And I'm standing in the back, and I turn to the guy next to me and I say something funny to him, and he starts to laugh. And the guy next to him says, 'What did he say?'
Bob Newhart / Stand-Up Comedian
Funny
Class
Clown
Guy
Next
Obvious
Standing
Funny Me Laugh
Did
Back
Circle
Class Clown
Guys
Him
Laugh
Says
Starts
Watching
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Don Rickles and I are best friends. I know that might seem strange to those who know Don only by reputation, but somebody has to be his friend. Just to make sure I don't forget, Don gave me a doormat that sits just outside the front door of my house. It reads: 'The Newharts: The Rickleses Best Friends.'
Bob Newhart / Stand-Up Comedian
Best
Forget
House
Might
Reputation
Strange
Sure
Somebody
Those
Friend
Door
Gave
His
Outside
Reads
Seem
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With the stand-up comic on TV, whether it's Seinfeld or Cosby or Roseanne, more important than their knowledge of how to tell a joke is their knowledge of themselves, or the persona they've created as themselves. So that when you're in a room with writers, you can say, 'Guys, that's a funny line, but I wouldn't say it.'
Bob Newhart / Stand-Up Comedian
Knowledge
Comic
Persona
Tv
Cosby
Writers
Guys
Line
Room
Seinfeld
Stand-Up Comic
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I remember seeing a movie with Jose Ferrer and Rosemary Clooney where they were husband and wife, and they got in bed, and he had on polka-dot pajamas and she had on striped pajamas, and when they got up the next morning he had on the striped pajamas and she had the polka dot pajamas, and that was considered racy at that time!
Bob Newhart / Stand-Up Comedian
Movie
Morning
Bed
Husband
Husband And Wife
Next
Pajamas
Remember
Seeing
Wife
Considered
Clooney
Dot
Got
Next Morning
She
Striped
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Well, if you’re a native Chicagoan, you know how dumb he [Dr. Robert Hartley] is. He gets on the Ravenswood El, he goes past his stop on Sheridan Road, he gets off in Evanston, where the El is on the ground, and then he walks back 55 blocks to his apartment. Now, would you want to have that man as a psychologist? A man who misses his stop every day?
Bob Newhart / Stand-Up Comedian
Men
Block
Past
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I gave up accounting. I went in for about six months writing ad copy. I was fired from that, and then another guy and I did a kind of poor man's Bob and Ray kind of syndicated radio show. Then I decided to stick it out and see what happened. I'd give it a year, a year became two years, and then two years became three years, and then along came the record album.
Bob Newhart / Stand-Up Comedian
Men
Writing
Years
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Stammering is different than stuttering. Stutterers have trouble with the letters, while stammerers trip over entire parts of a sentence. We stammerers generally think of ourselves as very bright. My own private theory is that stammerers have so many ideas swirling around their brains at once that they can't get them all out, though I haven't found any scientific evidence to back that up.
Bob Newhart / Stand-Up Comedian
Brain
Ideas
Thinking
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I'm one of those passengers who arrives at the airport five or six hours early so I can throw back a few drinks and muster up the courage to board the plane. Apparently I'm not alone because I've never been in an empty airport bar. I don't care what time you get there. Even at 8:00 a.m. you have to fight your way to the bar. At that hour, everyone drinks Bloody Marys so no one can tell it's booze- at least until they fall off their chair.
Bob Newhart / Stand-Up Comedian
Airports
Fall
Fighting
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Bob Newhart Quotes - Page 4

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