I was acting when I was playing baseball.

I led the league in go get 'em next time.

I had slumps that lasted into the winter.

I spent three of the best years of my life in 10th grade.

Where would I be without baseball? Who am I without baseball?

On TV the people can see it. On radio you've got to create it.

Sporting goods companies pay me not to endorse their products.

When I looked at the third base coach, he turned his back on me.

Between me and my roommate, we've hit 400 Major League home runs.

When I played baseball I got death threats all the time--from my mother.

I did stand-up, weird and ignorant stuff about my career - anything for a laugh.

I knew when my career was over. In 1965 my baseball card came out with no picture.

How do you catch a knuckleball? You wait until it stops rolling, then go pick it up.

The way to catch a knuckleball is to wait until it stops rolling and then pick it up.

In 1962 I was named Minor League Player of the Year. It was my second season in the bigs.

I would order a dozen bats and there were times they'd come back with handles at each end.

After getting out of the service and going into baseball I never wanted to do anything else.

I set records that will never be equaled. In fact, I hope 90% of them don't even get printed.

They have Easter egg hunts in Philadelphia, and if the kids don't find the eggs, they get booed.

I didn't get a lot of awards as a player. But they did have a Bob Uecker Day Off for me once in Philly.

I just grew the hair on my back. Facial hair just wasn't appealing to me. I liked it on my back, though.

I make fun of situations and try and find the humor in things, but it's never at the expense of the other guy.

I think my top salary was maybe in 1966. I made $17,000 and 11 of that came from selling other players' equipment.

Career highlights? I had two - I got an intentional walk from Sandy Koufax and I got out of a rundown against the Mets.

You throw batting practice, you warm up pitchers, you sit and cheer. You do whatever you have to do to stay on the team.

I signed a very modest $3,000 bonus with the Braves in Milwaukee. And my old man didn't have that kinda money to put out.

They broke it to me gently. The manager came up to me before a game and told me they didn't allow visitors in the clubhouse.

I had a great shoe contract and glove contract with a company who paid me a lot of money never to be seen using their stuff.

I hit a grand slam off Ron Herbel and when his manager Herman Franks came out to get him, he was bringing Herbel's suitcase.

My kids used to do things to aggravate me, too. I'd take them to a game, and they'd want to come home with a different player.

You know, I was once named Minor League Player of the Year...unfortunately, I had been in the majors for two years at the time.

You know, I was once named Minor League Player of the Year... unfortunately, I had been in the majors for two years at the time.

People don't know this, but I helped the Cardinals win the pennant. I came down with hepatitis. The trainer injected me with it!

When I came up to bat with three men on and two outs in the ninth, I looked in the other team's dugout and they were already in street clothes.

We were on for six years. We were in syndication for a while. It had its run. I still see the people from 'Mr. Belvedere,' too. We stay in touch.

Anyone with talent can play in the Major Leagues; for someone like me to stay around as long as I did, I think that's a much greater acheivement.

Sure, women sportswriters look when they're in the clubhouse. Read their stories. How else do you explain a capital letter in the middle of a word?

Anybody with ability can play in the big leagues. But to be able to trick people year in and year out the way I did, I think that was a much greater feat.

Anybody with ability can play in the big leagues. To last as long as I did with the skills I had, with the numbers I produced, was a triumph of the human spirit.

I had been playing for a while, and I asked Louisville Slugger to send me a dozen flame treated bats. But when I got it, I realized they had sent me a box of ashes.

Baseball hasn't forgotten me. I go to a lot of old-timers games and I haven't lost a thing. I sit in the bullpen and let people throw things at me. Just like old times.

The highlight of my baseball career came in Philadelphia's Connie Mack Stadium when I saw a fan fall out of the upper deck. When he got up and walked away, the crowd booed.

Hey, I think it's easy for guys to hit .300 and stay in the big leagues. Hit .200 and try to stick around as long as I did; I think it's a much greater accomplishment. That's hard.

I had a .200 lifetime batting average in the major leagues, which tied me with another sports great averaging 200 or better for a ten-year period: Don Carter, one of our top bowlers.

Phil Niekro and his brother were pitching against each other in Atlanta. Their parents were sitting right behind home plate. I saw their folks more that day than they did the whole weekend.

Not bragging by any means, but I could have done a lot of other stuff as far as working in films go and working in television... I had chances to do that stuff, but I like baseball, I really do.

People have asked me a lot of times, because I didn't hit a lot, how long a dozen bats would last me. Depending on the weight and model I was using at that time - I would say eight to 10 cookouts.

Any teammate of mine that had a kid and a boy that was capable of playing baseball, I think I set a terrific example of 'Don't do this' and 'Don't do that.' And that's one of the things that I'm most proud of.

Before broadcasting for 50-some years, I did TV, played 10 years in the big leagues, won a world championship - and played a big part in that, too, letting the Cardinals inject me with hepatitis. Takes a big man to do that.

Let's face it. Umpiring is not an easy or happy way to make a living. In the abuse they suffer, and the pay they get for it, you see an imbalance that can only be explained by their need to stay close to a game they can't resist.

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