Quotes by Daniel Goleman - Page 3

Great leaders, the research shows, are made as they gradually acquire, in the course of their lives and careers, the competencies that make them so effective. The competencies can be learned by any leader, at any point.
Daniel Goleman / Author
Leadership
Wisdom
Careers
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What seems to set apart those at the very top of competitive pursuits from others of roughly equal ability is the degree to which, beginning early in life, they can pursue an arduous practice routine for years and years.
Daniel Goleman / Author
Degrees
Practice
Years
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Women, on average, tend to be more aware of their emotions, show more empathy, and are more adept interpersonally. Men on the other hand, are more self-confident and optimistic, adapt more easily, and handle stress better.
Daniel Goleman / Author
Intelligence
Optimistic
Men
Self
Stress
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Our emotional mind will harness the rational mind to its purposes, for our feelings and reactions-- rationalizations-- justifying them in terms of the present moment, without realizing the influence of our emotional memory.
Daniel Goleman / Author
Emotional
Feelings
Memories
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When it comes to exploring the mind in the framework of cognitive neuroscience, the maximal yield of data comes from integrating what a person experiences - the first person - with what the measurements show - the third person.
Daniel Goleman / Author
Cognitive
Data
Exploring
Framework
Integrating
Mind
Neuroscience
Yield
Experiences
Measurements
Third
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In the new workplace, with its emphasis on flexibility, teams and a strong customer orientation, this crucial set of emotional competencies is becoming increasingly essential for excellence in every job in every part of the world.
Daniel Goleman / Author
Jobs
Strong
Team
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Even though a high IQ is no guarantee of prosperity, prestige, or happiness in life, our schools and our culture fixate on academic abilities, ignoring the emotional intelligence that also matters immensely for our personal destiny.
Daniel Goleman / Author
Destiny
Emotional
School
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Brain studies of mental workouts in which you sustain a single, chosen focus show that the more you detach from what's distracting you and refocus on what you should be paying attention to, the stronger this brain circuitry becomes.
Daniel Goleman / Author
Brain
Chosen
Focus
Stronger
Workout
Detach
Distracting
Mental
Paying
Sustain
Workouts
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Buying phosphate-free soap allows you to say, 'My detergent doesn't have the harsh chemicals others do.' The question is, how are you washing with it? The very worst thing for the Earth about detergent is that we heat water to use it.
Daniel Goleman / Author
Buying
Chemicals
Earth
Harsh
Heat
Soap
Use
Washing
Water
Worst
Question
Worst Thing
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People who are optimistic see a failure as due to something that can be changed so that they can succeed next time around, while pessimists take the blame for the failure, ascribing it to some characteristic they are helpless to change.
Daniel Goleman / Author
Optimistic
Next
People
Succeed
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But once you are in that field, emotional intelligence emerges as a much stronger predictor of who will be most successful, because it is how we handle ourselves in our relationships that determines how well we do once we are in a given job.
Daniel Goleman / Author
Jobs
Emotional
Emotional Intelligence
Given
Handle
Stronger
Successful
Job
Determines
Emerges
Field
Well
Predictor
Relationships
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people's emotions are rarely put into words , far more often they are expressed through other cues. the key to intuiting another's feelings is in the ability to read nonverbal channels , tone of voice , gesture , facial expression and the like
Daniel Goleman / Author
Expression
Keys
Voice
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We're exposed and carry in our bodies multiple chemicals, and we have to understand how they interact. Both how they individually interact and the thousands of effects they can produce when they interact with the receptors that run our bodies.
Daniel Goleman / Author
Running
Body
Chemicals
Effects
Exposed
Multiple
Produce
Bodies
Individually
Interact
Thousands
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Companies in the East put a lot more emphasis on human relationships, while those from the West focus on the product, the bottom line. Westerners appear to have more of a need for achievement, while in the East there's more need for affiliation.
Daniel Goleman / Author
Achievement
Affiliation
Bottom
Bottom Line
East
Emphasis
Focus
Human Relationships
West
Appear
Companies
Line
Product
Relationships
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Some children naturally have more cognitive control than others, and in all kids this essential skill is being compromised by the usual suspects: smartphones, TV, etc. But there are many ways that adults can help kids learn better cognitive control.
Daniel Goleman / Author
Kids
Children
Cognitive
Etc
Skills
Smartphones
Suspects
Usual
Adult
Tv
Naturally
Compromised
Essential
Skill
Ways
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There is a newly coined word in the English language for the moment when the person we're with whips out their BlackBerry or answers that cell phone, and all of a sudden we don't exist. The word is 'pizzled': it's a combination of puzzled and pissed off.
Daniel Goleman / Author
Technology
Inspiration
Motivation
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....goal directed self-imposed delay of gratification is perhaps the essence of emotional self-regulation: the ability to deny impulse in the service of a goal, whether it be building a business, solving an algebraic equation, or pursuing the Stanley Cup.
Daniel Goleman / Author
Emotional
Essence
Self
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Teachers need to be comfortable talking about feelings. This is part of teaching emotional literacy - a set of skills we can all develop, including the ability to read, understand, and respond appropriately to one's own emotions and the emotions of others.
Daniel Goleman / Author
Teacher
Emotional
Including
Literacy
Skills
Teaching
Teachers
Respond
Emotions
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If your emotional abilities aren't in hand, if you don't have self-awareness, if you are not able to manage your distressing emotions, if you can't have empathy and have effective relationships, then no matter how smart you are, you are not going to get very far.
Daniel Goleman / Author
Intelligence
Ability
Distressing
Emotional
Manage
Matter
Self
Self Awareness
Smart
Very
Then
Going
Get
You
How
Effective
Far
Hand
Relationships
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There is perhaps no psychological skill more fundamental than resisting impulse. It is the root of all emotional self-control, since all emotions, by their very nature, lead to one or another impulse to act. The root meaning of the word emotion, remember, is "to move.
Daniel Goleman / Author
Emotional
Moving
Skills
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Daydreaming defeats practice; those of us who browse TV while working out will never reach the top ranks. Paying full attention seems to boost the mind's processing speed, strengthen synaptic connections, and expand or create neural networks for what we are practicing.
Daniel Goleman / Author
Motivational
Practice
Work Out
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Empathetic people are superb at recognizing and meeting the needs of clients, customers, or subordinates. They seem approachable, wanting to hear what people have to say. They listen carefully, picking up on what people are truly concerned about, and respond on the mark.
Daniel Goleman / Author
Empathy
Needs
People
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The other thing is that if you rely solely on medication to manage depression or anxiety, for example, you have done nothing to train the mind, so that when you come off the medication, you are just as vulnerable to a relapse as though you had never taken the medication.
Daniel Goleman / Author
Depression
Anxiety
Example
Manage
Medication
Mind
Relapse
Taken
For Example
Solely
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The ability to handle stress increases with the practice of meditation. In a culture like ours in which inner, spiritual growth is totally neglected in favor of materialistic pursuits, we might have something to learn from the Hare Krishna devotees' meditational practices.
Daniel Goleman / Author
Practice
Spiritual
Stress
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A little girl who finds a puzzle frustrating might ask her busy mother (or teacher) for help. The child gets one message if her mother expresses clear pleasure at the request and quite another if mommy responds with a curt 'Don't bother me - I've got important work to do.'
Daniel Goleman / Author
Girl
Teacher
Bother
Busy
Clear
Frustrating
Important Work
Mother
Pleasure
Request
Ask
Quite
Expresses
Finds
Gets
Little Girl
Message
Mommy
Puzzle
Responds
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The Harvard Business Review recently had an article called 'The Human Moment,' about how to make real contact with a person at work: ... The fundamental thing you have to do is turn off your BlackBerry, close your laptop, end your daydream and pay full attention to the person.
Daniel Goleman / Author
Inspiration
Motivation
Real
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The industrial processes in use today were developed at a time when no one had to consider what the environmental impact was. Who cared? But making ecological concerns matter to a company's bottom line will help it do the research and development that will reinvent everything we buy.
Daniel Goleman / Author
Environmental
Bottom
Bottom Line
Ecological
Impact
Research
Research And Development
Time Today Will
Cared
Concerns
Consider
Developed
Industrial
Processes
Reinvent
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Want a happier, more content life? I highly recommend the down-to-earth methods you'll find in 'Mindfulness.' Professor Mark Williams and Dr Danny Penman have teamed up to give us scientifically grounded techniques we can apply in the midst of our everyday challenges and catastrophes.
Daniel Goleman / Author
Challenges
Everyday
Giving
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Although traditional incentives such as bonuses or recognition can prod people to better performance, no external motivators can get people to perform at their absolute best. . . .Wherever people gravitate within their work roles, indicates where their real pleasure lies—and that pleasure is itself motivating.
Daniel Goleman / Author
Lying
People
Real
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Cognitive skills such as big-picture thinking and long-term vision were particularly important. But when I calculated the ratio of technical skills, IQ, and emotional intelligence as ingredients of excellent performance, emotional intelligence proved to be twice as important as the others for jobs at all levels.
Daniel Goleman / Author
Jobs
Emotional
Thinking
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As a freshman in college, I was having a lot of trouble adjusting. I took a meditation class to handle anxiety. It really helped. Then as a grad student at Harvard, I was awarded a pre-doctoral traveling fellowship to India, where my focus was on the ancient systems of psychology and meditation practices of Asia.
Daniel Goleman / Author
Adjusting
Ancient
Asia
Class
College
Fellowship
Freshman
Grad
Handle
Harvard
Meditation
Meditation Practice
Psychology
Awarded
Student
Helped
Practices
Systems
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The task of worrying is to come up with positive solutions for life's perils by anticipating dangers before they arise. If we are preoccupied by worries, we have that must less attention to expend on figuring out the answers. Our worries become self-fulfilling prophecies, propelling us toward the very disaster they predict.
Daniel Goleman / Author
Self
Tasks
Worry
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Worries typically follow such lines, a narrative to oneself that jumps from concern to concern and more often than not includes catastrophizing, imagining some terrible tragedy. Worries are almost always expressed in the mind's ear, not its eye - that is, in words, not images - a fact that has significance for controlling worry.
Daniel Goleman / Author
Eye
Mind
Worry
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Emotional self-control is NOT the same as overcontrol, the stifling of all feeling and spontaneity....when such emotional suppression is chronic, it can impair thinking, hamper intellectual performance and interfere with smooth social interaction. By contrast, emotional competence implies we have a choice as to how we express our feelings.
Daniel Goleman / Author
Emotional
Self
Thinking
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Emotional 'literacy' implies an expanded responsibility for schools in helping to socialize children. This daunting task requires two major changes: that teachers go beyond their traditional mission and that people in the community become more involved with schools as both active participants in children's learning and as individual mentors.
Daniel Goleman / Author
Teacher
Active
Children
Helping
Involved
Literacy
Participants
Responsibility
School
Traditional
Teachers
Beyond
Daunting
Implies
Major
Mission
Mentors
Requires
Schools
Socialize
Task
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There are some surprising payoffs with only a few minutes' practice, like eliminating the loss of concentration that multitasking usually brings. Short daily mindfulness practice in beginners also improves memory, to the point that a group of students who volunteered for a study got significantly better scores on their graduate school entrance exams.
Daniel Goleman / Author
Loss
Memories
School
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Self-absorption in all its forms kills empathy, let alone compassion. When we focus on ourselves, our world contracts as our problems and preoccupations loom large. But when we focus on others, our world expands. Our own problems drift to the periphery of the mind and so seem smaller, and we increase our capacity for connection - or compassionate action.
Daniel Goleman / Author
Compassion
Our World
Self
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For the high achievers, studying gave them the pleasing, absorbing challenge of flow 40 percent of the hours they spent at it. But for low achievers, studying produced flow only 16 percent of the time; more often that not, it yielded anxiety, with the demands outreaching their abilities...The low achievers found pleasure and flow in socializing, not in studying.
Daniel Goleman / Author
Learning
Anxiety
Challenges
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There are a host of surprises among longer-term meditators, like a boost in the immune system from a day of practice, which is not seen in beginners, and a rapid recovery from stress or pain. At the "Olympic level" we find there is no anticipatory anxiety when the stress of pain is certain to come, and no lingering aftereffects - unlike the stress reactions in ordinary folk.
Daniel Goleman / Author
Pain
Recovery
Stress
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Our brain comes hard-wired with an urge to play, one that hurls us into sociability. A child's play both demands and creates its own safe space, one in which she can confront threats, fears, and dangers, but always come through whole. Play offers a child a natural way to manage feared separations or abandonment, rendering them instead opportunities for mastery and self-discovery.
Daniel Goleman / Author
Opportunity
Children
Play
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Comparing the three domains, I found that for jobs of all kinds, emotional competencies were twice as prevalent among distinguishing competencies as were technical skills and purely cognitive abilities combined. In general the higher a position in an organization, the more EI mattered: for individuals in leadership positions, 85 percent of their competencies were in the EI domain.
Daniel Goleman / Author
Intelligence
Jobs
Leadership
Emotional
Skills
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School success is not predicted by a child's fund of facts or a precocious ability to read as much as by emotional and social measures; being self-assured and interested: knowing what kind of behavior is expected and how to rein in the impulse to misbehave; being able to wait, to follow directions, and to turn to teachers for help; and expressing needs while getting along with other children.
Daniel Goleman / Author
Teacher
Children
School
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The act of compassion begins with full attention, just as rapport does. You have to really see the person. If you see the person, then naturally, empathy arises. If you tune into the other person, you feel with them. If empathy arises, and if that person is in dire need, then empathic concern can come. You want to help them, and then that begins a compassionate act. So I'd say that compassion begins with attention.
Daniel Goleman / Author
Compassion
Empathy
Needs
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All the classical meditation traditions, in one way or another, stress nonattachment to the self as a goal of practice. Oddly, this dimension is largely ignored in scientific research, which tends to focus on health and other such benefits. I suppose the difference has to do with the contrast in views of the self from the spiritual and scientific perspectives. Scientists value the self; spiritual traditions have another perspective.
Daniel Goleman / Author
Goal
Spiritual
Stress
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I don't really follow meditation hype. But my impression is that poor studies are cited as "proof" of meditation's benefits, findings that apply to advanced meditators are sometimes touted as accruing to beginners, and, occasionally, some benefits are simply imagined. This may be most true in the business world, where many companies are bringing in teachers who are a bit loose in their use of research as evidence for the usefulness of the method.
Daniel Goleman / Author
Teacher
Meditation
World
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Educators, long disturbed by schoolchildren's lagging scores in math and reading, are realizing there is a different and more alarming deficiency: emotional literacy. And while laudable efforts are being made to raise academic standards, this new and troubling deficiency is not being addressed in the standard school curriculum. As one Brooklyn teacher put it, the present emphasis in schools suggests that "we care more about how well schoolchildren can read and write than whether they'll be alive next week."
Daniel Goleman / Author
Education
Teacher
Reading
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Daniel Goleman Quotes - Page 3

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