You’re just jealous of me because I’m a tap-dancing ballerina fairy princess veterinarian!

For Beatrice, summer without you is as cold as winter. Winter without you, is even colder.

Boredom is not black licorice, Snicket," she said. "There's no reason to share it with me.

Arguing with somebody is never pleasant, but sometimes it is useful and necessary to do so.

For Beatrice, when we first met, I was lonely, and you were pretty. Now I am pretty lonely.

It was a curious feeling, that something could be so close and so distant at the same time.

who would dare think that, forever? Some idiot girl who wouldn’t know how things played out.

I found powerful the idea that everything we have is, in effect, stolen from everybody else.

Or why you are wearing a picture of Santa Clause on you shirts, but-” “It’s Herman Melville.

Even though there are no ways of knowing for sure, there are ways of knowing for pretty sure.

Never mind what my name is,” the man said. “No one can pronounce it anyway. Just call me Sir.

It is difficult, when faced with a situation you cannot control, to admit you can do nothing.

Every new promise was like something heavy I had to carry, with no place to put anything down.

This world is suchier than we are, and the best thing to do is keep moving and find your keys.

It doesn't take courage to kill someone,' Klaus said. 'It takes a severe lack of moral stamina.

Love is candy from a stranger, but it's candy you've had before and it probably won't kill you.

The movie was kickass, which was appropriate, because tonight it was called Kickass: The Movie.

Don’t repeat yourself. It’s not only repetitive, it’s redundant, and people have heard it before.

Temper tantrums, however fun they may be to throw, rarely solve whatever problem is causing them.

When do you learn that the world, like any diner worth its salt, is open twenty-four hours a day?

I think pirates, like astronauts, particularly for a boy, are always kind of worth thinking about.

If writers wrote as carelessly as some people talk, then adhasdh asdglaseuyt[bn[ pasdlgkhasdfasdf.

You would run much slower if you were dragging something behind you, like a knapsack or a sheriff.

You meet people who are in pain in life and love and you forgive them for behaving the way they do.

Wherever it's good, whatever strange, faraway land, let's go there, let's stay in that place alone.

Like People, animals will become frightened and likely do whatever you say if you whip them enough.

The worst surroundings in the world can be tolerated if the people in them are interesting and kind.

I find reading screenplays difficult, as they're only a roadmap for what a movie might end up being.

I'm not a stranger," I said, and pointed to his book. "I'm someone who reads the same authors you do.

I decided that it might be interesting to have terrible things happen to orphans over and over again.

and what might seem to be a series of unfortunate events may in fact be the first steps of a journey.

If you are trying to fool a farsighted or dimwitted person, a veiled facial disguise might be enough.

I am heartbroken, but I have been heartbroken before, and this might be the best for which I can hope.

Why not rise from the grave and terrorize a little instead of staying buried and dead in the cemetery?

And then like a song we'd forgotten was even on the mix, you stepped into the house and my whole life.

If I were to say, "Yes, I am a fascinating, erudite person," what would that say about me? I don't know.

the mind has a thousand eyes, and the heart has one:yet the light of a whole life dies when love is done.

I was too jitterbuggy happy to sleep, and the whole day kept playing in my brain's little screening room.

In times of extreme stress, one can often find energy hidden in even the most exhausted areas of the body.

You may be right,' she said, a phrase which here meant 'I’m wrong, but I don’t have the courage to say so.

One has to adopt a sort of Zen calm, in which you know you wrote the best book that you could at the time.

The thing with your heart's desire is that your heart doesn't even know what it desires until it turns up.

We laughed the rest of the way, because the point of this story is, it is not the cookies. It is the love.

You might be afraid of the dark, but the dark is not afraid of you. That’s why the dark is always close by.

Is it OK not to be a virgin, yes. Most people aren’t virgins, Min. That’s why there’s people to begin with.

I don't think film is the writer's medium, and so I was interested to see what a director would do with it.

Chestnuts in stuffing tastes like someone chewed up a tree branch and then French-kissed it into your mouth.

There is no worse sound in the world than someone who cannot play the violin but insists on doing so anyway.

You should never stick something that you are allergic to into your mouth, especially if that thing is cats.

Just about everybody has written a first novel that they throw away before writing their actual first novel.

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