Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
I love Ohio.
I'm an introspective dude.
Hey hey hey, smoke weed everyday
Chivalry is dead. Women killed it.
I enjoy my own thoughts sometimes.
Dave! Relax! Close your buttcheeks!
My generation is under-entertained.
I don't do drugs, though. Just weed.
America, I appreciate you liking me.
Is this the 5:00 Free Crack Giveaway?
I love being famous - it's phenomenal.
I don't care if I ever work in TV again.
Cause my life is dope, and I do dope sh*t
I got a lot of positive people around me.
Comedy is a very approval-oriented field.
The higher up I went, the less happy I was.
You got to be careful of the company you keep.
What did the 5 fingers say to the face. S L A P!
I'm Dave Chappelle and I'm a chronic masturbator.
The kid is the best thing that ever happened to me.
No one wants to get their ass beat to a soundtrack.
The language you are about to hear... is disturbing.
Constantly take inventory of what's important to you.
Who goes from America to Africa for medical attention?
There's something about doing stand-up that's cathartic.
The worst thing to call somebody is crazy. It's dismissive.
I think extreme sports are really good for relieving stress.
Stand-up is the kind of gig that'll show you where you're at.
New white people, you can't scare these white people, I tried.
The only way you can know where the line is, is if you cross it.
The only thing harder than leaving show business is coming back.
Fame for me is like a place, a country I'm taking a tour through.
Being famous is great, it's not like bad or horrible or anything.
What is wrong with me i just bought a bag of weed from an infant.
Why don't you click your heels three times and go back to Africa.
You know you must be doing something right if old people like you.
Once you been performing on the streets you can conquer any venue.
Where I'm from? A little town called none of yo god damn business.
I've done 10 or 11 pilots for network television, which is ridiculous.
I wish I had more hands, so I could give those titties four thumbs down!
You can't get unfamous. You can get infamous but you can't get unfamous.
You can't get un-famous. You can get infamous, but you can't get un-famous.
I think every group of black guys should have at least one white guy in it.
I've been a comedian since I was fourteen. But I've never really been a CEO.
Listen, here it is: Technically, I never quit. I'm seven years late for work.
I care about the work I do. But I'm not going to say that money's not an issue.
It seems like there's never enough famous white people among comic in Hollywood.
All white people talk about when they get high is other times that they got high.
No matter how old you are, if a little kid hands you a toy phone... you answer it.
I got real important relationships in my life that are very empowering relationships.