Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
If you stick a Babel fish in your ear you can instantly understand anything said to you in any form of language.
Just believe everything I tell you, and it will all be very, very simple.' Ah, well, I'm not sure I believe that.
We have normality. I repeat, we have normality. Anything you still can't cope with is therefore your own problem.
I remember very little about writing the first series of 'Hitchhiker's.' It's almost as if someone else wrote it.
Being offended by things is the world's big hobby at the moment. It's almost taken over from wearing goatee beards.
Exactly!" said Deep Thought. "So once you do know what the question actually is, you'll know what the answer means.
Time affords us the ability to blame past errors on others while whole heartedly pronouncing our futures successes.
Pardon me for breathing, which I never do any way so I don’t know why I bother to say it, oh God, I’m so depressed.
It can hardly be a coincidence that no language on earth has ever produced the expression, 'As pretty as an airport.
I like the cover," he said. "Don't Panic. It's the first helpful or intelligible thing anybody's said to me all day.
Gordon Way's astonishment at being suddenly shot dead was nothing compared to his astonishment at what happened next.
Sir,' I said to the universe, 'I exist.' 'That,' said the universe, 'creates no sense of obligation in me whatsoever.
You just come along with me and have a good time. The Galaxy's a fun place. You'll need to have this fish in your ear.
Zaphod felt he was teetering on the edge of madness and wondered if he shouldn't just jump over and have done with it.
How do I know the past is not a fiction conceived to reconcile the difference between my state of mind and the present.
Why are people born? Why do they die? Why do they want to spend so much of the intervening time wearing digital watches?
Having not said anything the first time, it was somehow even more difficult to broach the subject the second time around.
I didn't notice I was being set upon by a pickpocket, which I am glad of, because I like to work only with professionals.
Nothing travels faster than the speed of light, with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own special laws.
Who should play the lead role in a film about me? Dunno. Danny De Vito? Jeff Goldblum? Meryl Streep? Someone of that kind.
Listen, three eyes," he said, "don't you try to outweird me, I get stranger things than you free with my breakfast cereal.
If life is going to exist in a Universe of this size, then the one thing it cannot afford to have is a sense of proportion.
What does it matter? Science has achieved some wonderful things, of course, but I'd far rather be happy than right any day.
Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?
In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.
He felt that his whole life was some kind of dream and he sometimes wondered whose it was and whether they were enjoying it.
The story goes that I first had the idea for The HitchHiker's Guide to the Galaxy while lying drunk in a field in Innsbruck.
In the center lay the exploded carcass of a lonely sperm whale that hadn't lived long enough to be disappointed with its lot.
The last time anybody made a list of the top hundred character attributes of New Yorkers, common sense snuck in at number 79.
Siamese Cats have a way of staring at you. Those who have walked in on the Queen cleaning her teeth will know the expression.
The World Wide Web is the only thing I know of whose shortened form takes three times longer to say than what it's short for.
The Hitch Hiker's Guide has not been an opera. It has however been a tapestry, if you count a woven bath towel as a tapestry.
2,000 years ago one man got nailed to a tree for saying how great it would be if everyone was nice to each other for a change.
Life... is like a grapefruit. It's orange and squishy, and has a few pips in it, and some folks have half a one for breakfast.
I only know as much about myself as my mind can work out under its current conditions. And its current conditions are not good.
To give real service you must add something which cannot be bought or measured with money, and that is sincerity and integrity.
And so the problem remained; lots of the people were mean, and most of them were miserable, even the ones with digital watches.
Words used carelessly, as if they did not matter in any serious way, often allowed otherwise well-guarded truths to seep through.
Did I do anything wrong today," he said, "or has the world always been like this and I've been too wrapped up in myself to notice?
One of the most important things you learn from the Internet is that there is no 'them' out there. It's just an awful lot of 'us.'
"Does God know he [exists]?" "Of course he does. Otherwise, you could not have asked the question, and I could not have answered."
One of the most important things you learn from the internet is that there is no 'them' out there. It’s just an awful lot of 'us.'
He was constantly reminded of how startlingly different a place the world was when viewed from a point only three feet to the left.
There's nothing worse than sitting down to write a novel and saying, 'Well, okay, I'm going to do something of high artistic worth.'
I wrote an ad for Apple Computer: "Macintosh - We might not get everything right, but at least we knew the century was going to end".
SHOEBURYNESS (abs.n.) The vague uncomfortable feeling you get when sitting on a seat which is still warm from somebody else's bottom.
WOKING (vb.) To enter the kitchen with the precise determination to perform something only to forget what it is just before you do it.
All opinions are not equal. Some are a very great deal more robust, sophisticated and well supported in logic and argument than others.
Working out the social politics of who you can trust and why is, quite literally, what a very large part of our brain has evolved to do.
As a child, I was an active Christian. I used to love the school choir and remember the carol service as always such an emotional thing.