The quizzical expression of the monkey at the zoo comes from his ...

The quizzical expression of the monkey at the zoo comes from his wondering whether he is his brother's keeper, or his keeper's brother.

Many a man works himself to death by burying himself in his work.

Many a man works himself to death by burying himself in his work.

After wisdom comes wit.

A word to the wise is -- unnecessary.

All work and no pay makes a housewife.

The diamond is the hardest stone -- to get.

Play: Work that you enjoy doing for nothing.

There's nothing as short as short-term debt.

There is nothing more dignified than a corpse.

With a braggart, it's no sooner done than said.

The girl with a future avoids a man with a past.

Many an actor does the stage more ham than good.

Charm is to a woman what perfume is to a flower.

You are not fully dressed until you wear a smile.

A hamburger by any other name costs twice as much.

The difference between two men is usually a woman.

A creature that never cries over spilt milk: a cat.

Age brings wisdom to some men, and to others chess.

[Statistics] Fiction in its most uninteresting form.

All men are born equal, but some of them outgrow it.

If you want to be different nowadays, just act normal.

Hope is tomorrow's veneer over today's disappointment.

A husband is like a fire. He goes out when unattended.

The most uncommon form of intelligence is common sense.

Consistency is a jewel, but too much jewelry is vulgar.

A husband is like a fire - he goes out when unattended.

A bright eye indicates curiosity; a black eye, too much.

A dollar saved is a dollar earned but seldom vice versa.

Egocentric: A person who has his I's too close together.

The mint makes it first, it is up to you to make it last.

In Congress the majority governs, but the minority rules.

More diets start in dress shops than in doctors' offices.

It takes far more courage to violate a custom than a law.

Divorce is the price people play for playing with matches.

A lazy man's wife is generally the power behind the drone.

When laziness attacks a woman, it always avoids her tongue.

Hard work never hurt anyone who hired someone else to do it.

A batch of credit cards fattens a wallet before it thins it.

Zoo: An excellent place to study the habits of human beings.

Corrupt officials are usually close-mouthed and open-handed.

The best way to make a long story short is to stop listening.

Life is a game played on us while we are playing other games.

Good teachers cost a lot; but, poor teachers cost a lot more.

Some people blow their top, but all people blow their bottom.

Adam and Eve were the first of all unions to defy management.

Ego: The only thing that can keep growing without nourishment.

A man picks a wife about the same way an apple picks a farmer.

An actor is a man with an infinite capacity for taking praise.

The only place where you can find equality is in the cemetery.

Everything comes to him who waits -- if he waits till it comes.

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