Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
A firm belief atthracts facts. They come out iv holes in the ground an' cracks in th' wall to support belief, but they run away fr'm doubt.
Trust ivrybody-but cut th' cards.
A man's idee in a card game is war
Trust everybody, but cut the cards.
Don't jump on a man unless he is down.
The last man that makes a joke owns it.
There are no friends at cards or world politics
There are no friends at cards or world politics.
What's wan man's news is another man's throubles.
A game you play with your own worst enemy-yourself.
Comfort the afflicted, and afflict the comfortable.
A man never becomes an orator if he has anything to say.
Even an Englishman was niver improved by bein' blown up.
You can lade a man up to th' university, but ye can't make him think.
A lie with a purpose is one of the worst kind, and the most profitable
A lie with a purpose is one of the worst kind, and the most profitable.
Stories are meant to comfort the afflicted, and afflict the comfortable.
Swearing was invented as a compromise between running away and fighting.
A man can be right and president, but he can't be both at the same time.
I care not who makes th' laws iv a nation, if I can get out an injunction.
If ye live enough befure thirty ye won't care to live at all afther fifty.
It don't make much difference what you study, so long as you don't like it.
An appeal is when you ask one court to show its contempt for another court.
It must be a good thing to be good or ivrybody wudden't be pretendin' he was.
The only good husbands stay bachelors: They're too considerate to get married.
Drink never made a man better, but it has made many a man think he was better.
To most people a savage nation is wan that doesn't wear oncomf'rtable clothes.
The past always looks better than it was. It's only pleasant because it isn't here.
The past always looks better than it was; it's only pleasant because it isn't here.
Most vegetarians I ever see looked enough like their food to be classed as cannibals.
Viceis a creature of such heejous mienthat th' more ye see it th' betther ye like it.
I wonder why you can always read a doctor's bill and you can never read his prescription.
Vice is a creature of such hideous mien... that the more you see it the better you like it
Vice is a creature of such hideous mien... that the more you see it the better you like it.
When 'tis an aven thing in th' prayin', may th' best man win ... an' th' best man will win.
Work is work if you're paid to do it, and it's a pleasure if you pay to be allowed to do it.
Most vegetarians look so much like the food they eat that they can be classified as cannibals.
A fanatic is a man that does what he thinks the Lord would do if He knew the facts of the case.
What is instinct? It is the natural tendency in one when filled with dismay to turn to his wife.
The world is not growing worse and it is not growing better - it is just turning around as usual.
I niver knew a pollytician to go wrong ontil he's been contaminated by contact with a business man.
The American nation in the sixth ward is a fine people; they love the eagle - on the back of a dollar.
Alcohol is necessary for a man so that he can have a good opinion of himself, undisturbed by the facts.
Alcohol is necessary for a man so that he can have a good opinion of himself, undisturbed be the facts.
Freedom is like drink. If you take any at all, you might as well take enough to make you happy for a while.
No matter whether the Constitution follows the flag or not, the Supreme Court follows the election returns.
Vice goes along way towards making life bearable. A little vice now and then is relished by the best of men.
Politics ain't beanbag: 'tis a man's game, and women, children 'n' pro-hy-bitionists had best stay out of it.
Histhry is a post-mortem examination. It tellsye what a counthry died iv. But I'd like to know what it lived iv.
The wise people are in New York because the foolish went there first, that's the way the wise men make a living.
