Quotes by Jack Whitehall - Page 1

My dad doesn't hug me enough!
Jack Whitehall / Comedian
Hug
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I only got into comedy to get laid
Jack Whitehall / Comedian
Comedy
Getting Laid
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I vote for whoever will annoy my dad.
Jack Whitehall / Comedian
Dad
Annoying
Vote
Annoy
Whoever
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There's a real sense of camaraderie with sitcoms.
Jack Whitehall / Comedian
Camaraderie
Real Sense
Sitcoms
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I think people respect honesty rather than hiding it.
Jack Whitehall / Comedian
Hiding
Honesty
People
Thinking
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I like to think I'm a bit smarter than I sometimes let on.
Jack Whitehall / Comedian
Smarter
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Oh, you wanna do a little bit of roleplay? Could you just play dead?
Jack Whitehall / Comedian
Funny
Littles
Play
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Live stand-up is my thing. I love being on stage and just messing around.
Jack Whitehall / Comedian
Messing
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I'm very conscious of other people's opinions and of people not liking me.
Jack Whitehall / Comedian
Conscious
Liking
Opinions
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When I'm on stage, I'm quite over the top - I'm quite flamboyant and camp.
Jack Whitehall / Comedian
Flamboyant
Stage
Camp
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I've never laughed a woman into bed, but I've laughed one out of bed many times.
Jack Whitehall / Comedian
Funny
Bed
Comedy
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I never know what defines you as being posh. I went to a posh school, definitely.
Jack Whitehall / Comedian
Posh
Defines
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This sausage roll only contains 2% of your daily intake of calories... if you lick it.
Jack Whitehall / Comedian
Funny
Comedy
Sausage
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If I could look like anyone, it would be Jamie Redknapp - even up close, he's amazing.
Jack Whitehall / Comedian
If I Could
Jamie
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I hope people think of me as a bit older. I do have a beard. That makes me look very old.
Jack Whitehall / Comedian
Beard
People
Thinking
Hope Me Look
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I want to write a film. I need to think of the right idea and focus on that; I love writing.
Jack Whitehall / Comedian
Ideas
Thinking
Writing
Right Idea
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I have got a fantastic life and I just like to get on with it, and I am quite a private person.
Jack Whitehall / Comedian
Life I Am Person
Private
Private Person
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I love stand-up, but the process of writing is a little more lonely. I want to keep doing both, though.
Jack Whitehall / Comedian
Lonely
Love Process Doing
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I don't like comedians who don't have conviction, and with stand-up, it is always best to have an angle.
Jack Whitehall / Comedian
Angle
Conviction
Best Always Who
Comedians
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If I'm in an uncomfortable situation, I think I can say something funny to defuse it. Sometimes you can't.
Jack Whitehall / Comedian
Uncomfortable
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My mother giving birth to me was just like Lady Sybil giving birth, except that there wasn't such a tragic ending.
Jack Whitehall / Comedian
Birth
Tragic
Ending
Lady
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I'm not actually posh; I'm really rough and from the wrong side of the tracks. I grew up in Putney, which is pretty rough.
Jack Whitehall / Comedian
Grew
Posh
Rough
Actually
Pretty
Side
Wrong
Tracks
Wrong Side
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Part of doing stand-up is to get things off your chest. It's a bit like being in a psychiatrist's chair - but more enjoyable.
Jack Whitehall / Comedian
Enjoyable
Your Doing More
Chair
Chest
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I'd like to scale back the television. I'm constantly told that I'm over-exposed, and I don't want to end up like Carol Vorderman.
Jack Whitehall / Comedian
Scale
Carol
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When I was younger, I was insecure for about 10 years: I wore glasses, had a cow's lick, buck teeth and braces. I looked ridiculous.
Jack Whitehall / Comedian
Braces
Glasses
Insecure
Ridiculous
Teeth
Younger
Buck
Cow
Lick
Looked
Wore
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I bought one of those anti-bullying wristbands when they first came out. I say 'bought', I actually stole it off a short, fat ginger kid.
Jack Whitehall / Comedian
Funny
Kids
Bullying
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For the first six months of my stand-up career, I was talking like Danny Dyer. I was doing a lot of 'alright guvnors?' It wasn't true to who I was.
Jack Whitehall / Comedian
Alright
Careers
Months
Talking
Danny
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I love Downton Abbey. It's just great. My mother giving birth to me was just like Lady Sybil giving birth, except that there wasn't such a tragic ending.
Jack Whitehall / Comedian
Birth
Giving
Mother
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I was the first person in the world to audition for 'The Hobbit'. The casting director told me that when I went in. That's a lot of pressure, isn't it? The first person in the world.
Jack Whitehall / Comedian
Casting
Audition
Hobbit
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Some comics have long routines to get them in the mood - I just prefer to sit down, write out the same jokes in a different order and then have a little prayer that I won't be met by silence.
Jack Whitehall / Comedian
Mood
Silence
Prefer
Routines
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I wish I was a bit shorter, as I think shorter people have better walks. Freddie Fox, the actor, is shorter than me and has an amazing gait; and Tom Cruise has a brilliant run. I'm just gangly.
Jack Whitehall / Comedian
Brilliant
Cruise
Gait
Walks
Amazing Me Better
Fox
Gangly
Tom
Tom Cruise
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Society is so divided in its perception of public school people. Most people who went to public school behave in the right way, but every now and then there will be someone who comes along and ruins it.
Jack Whitehall / Comedian
Behave
Divided
Now And Then
Perception
Public School
Right Way
Ruins
Society People Way
Society People Will
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I did a gig at a comedy club in Bournemouth where they served a buffet while the acts were on. There was the clang of people carving turkey during the set. If you put comedy and turkey side by side, turkey always wins.
Jack Whitehall / Comedian
Carving
Always Where People
Acts
Always People Comedy
Buffet
Comedy Club
Gig
Served
Turkey
Wins
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I've definitely become smuttier. When I first started out, I had these aspirations: 'I'm not going to do jokes about anything crude because I'm bigger and better than that.' But then, I don't know... It makes me laugh, so I started doing it.
Jack Whitehall / Comedian
Crude
Me Better Doing
Aspirations
Better Me Doing
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I acted at school but got very bad parts - things that they'd made up in Shakespeare plays like 'Guard 17' - so I wrote plays and gave myself parts, then I wrote sketches, then I did stand-up. Even in the school nativity I was the emu in the manger.
Jack Whitehall / Comedian
Nativity
Acted
Guard
Parts
Plays
Shakespeare
Sketches
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Jack Whitehall Quotes - Page 1

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