Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
I believe that I have such a vanilla life.
You think you're so cool just because you can walk!
I tried, it was hard, I quit, the end. Story of my life.
I'm not lazy. I'm simply judicious about excess movement.
Everyone who reads me is someone I'd like to hang out with.
Ambien might have mentally just tossed my salad. WITH CROUTONS.
The best thing about being 45 is not taking myself so seriously.
Just as I got older, I think I've become more and more conservative.
Owning a dog is slightly less expensive than being addicted to crack.
I'm a humor writer, so I don't always present myself in the best light.
Humor's an excellent way to make a point more palatable and/or relatable.
Some people are destined to be deep thinkers. I am not one of those people.
No one wants to friend or follow covert info about Pakistan's nuclear policy.
We all know exactly what we love, and woe is you if you're on the other side.
Were I forced to describe this woman in one word, that word would be...herpes.
Fortunately, all it takes for us to be of one mind is some buttercream frosting.
I still believe in the Holy Trinity, except now it's Target, Trader Joe's, and IKEA.
Writing is something that I've always loved. That stems from my love of being a reader.
I would rather receive a Pap smear from Captain Hook than venture out on New Year's Eve.
I've always been able to cook Italian food. That's in my blood because I'm half Sicilian.
The iPad's all about proprietary apps that are supposed to be amazing on the bigger screen.
Beauty pageants, you're only judged once. Sorority rush, you have to go through 20 parties.
I never sleep on the plane. I have to be awake and using my mind power to keep it in the air
I think people tend to be very myopic and they dont understand how their actions impact others.
Maybe I've moved to the dark side, but it's clean and nice and we never run out of toilet paper.
I am going to embarrass myself. I have accepted that fact, and that's just how it's going to be.
I think people tend to be very myopic and they don't understand how their actions impact others.
I don't want to limit myself as a writer. Tastes change, and I want to keep my eye on the future.
Point? Maybe you aren't a Carrie or a Samantha or a Charlotte or a Miranda. Maybe you're just you.
No, it's not a 'corpse thing.' I feel I lack the emotional capacity to deal with those in mourning.
You can't all of a sudden go to sleep one night and wake up Martha Stewart. It's bit by bit by bit.
I yearn to be a woman of more depth, but I'm not so fond of the path I'd need to follow to get there.
In real life, I tend to yell at people a lot. Not because I'm bossy or mean, but because I'm frustrated.
Expressing political opinion can be a powerful way to establish a character's voice when writing fiction.
Asking me to choose between a traditional book and a Kindle is like asking me which of my dogs I love most.
I'm very detail oriented. I think that's why people enjoy my memoirs - because I tend to remember everything.
Plaid is always cute and always will be. But only on the bottom. At the top, it makes you look like a farmer.
When did the cell phone become a license to be rude? And why must I be subjected to your personal conversations?
No matter how happy anyone is with their choices, I believe it's human nature to wonder about the path not taken.
I guess my most prized pop culture possession is a signed first edition of the book 'Fight Club' by Chuck Palahniuk.
I'm the person who says every single thing she thinks, sometimes to others' amusement, and almost always to my detriment.
You know what it was like? It was like thinking I was heading to a surprise party and instead it was a surprise pap smear.
When it comes to matters of pro sports, politics or palate, disparate sides claim their party, team and cola to be superior.
I'm such a fangirl when it comes to other writers. I read 250 books a year, and I'm always talking up books by other authors.
I believe that I have such a vanilla life. But maybe I come with a different perspective. I'm always trying to improve myself.
I didn't want to turn into Martha Stewart. I wanted to turn into a more organized, more gracious me. And that truly has happened.
I married a man who isn't afraid to wash a dish, scrub a toilet, or have his unibrow waxed into submission by a licensed professional.
If I had kids, I'd probably be way over-protective, researching everything they begged to see to make sure the content was appropriate.
Now with social media, people essentially come into my living room, my virtual living room, and tell me everything that is wrong with me.
I'm doing a lot more handmade gifts. When I go to a party, I cook whatever it is I need to bring instead of just grabbing a bottle of wine.