Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
I had breast cancer.
I'm so terrified to write that I don't type at all.
I've been in the emergency room for food poisoning.
What best friends do so well is they just waste time.
I can't watch most movies because they scare me too much.
I'm not on Facebook because I can't open the door to the past.
I can't tell you how many bizarre shows at UCB I was a part of.
I would never knowingly go and date somebody that my friend loved.
I love Jennifer Aniston and Courteney Cox's real-life relationship.
In Hollywood, normally things don't work out, and dreams are crushed.
I remember watching 'I Love Lucy' from an early age, 'Laverne & Shirley.'
Ten days after my 'one-step' reconstruction, I was on the beach with my daughter.
I was bored by going to Mommy and Me, and I certainly didn't want to write about it.
A lot of comedy on television has a reserve to it, and it's a little too cool for school.
Did I still feel like I'd been run over by a Mack Truck? Absolutely. It's chemo, after all.
Keegan-Michael Key and Lindsay Sloane are two of the best, literally, just dramatic actors.
I think sometimes when you have 24 episodes, you almost have to stretch things out too much.
I can't take a traditional yoga class or anything. I'll just lay down and take a nap on the mat.
Darius Rucker is straight up the most charming, handsome man you have ever met in your entire life.
I've been trying to cram myself down the throats of America for a longer time than I care to remember.
One of my biggest and most influential was 'The Golden Girls.' That show, I remember specific episodes.
Let's see, what was my favorite of 'Golden Girls'. Anything Stan was involved with, I was obsessed with.
Once you figure out what your passion is, surround yourself with like-minded people who can help you grow.
The thing with physical comedy is that you have to actually try to do the thing you're trying to do - you can't fake it.
If I texted somebody that I was having a down day, in seconds I would have somebody either call me or show up at my door.
I would trust Lennon not only to babysit my child but to raise them. Literally, that's who I would want to raise my child.
It's very hard to fake. When you see Maya Rudolph and Kristen Wiig in 'Bridesmaids,' you can tell they really love each other.
'Downton Abbey'. I love all things olden-days, and I'm very interested in somebody brushing my hair out at the end of the night.
I make sure to meditate at least twice a day. I have migraines, and transcendental meditation is hugely helpful in combating them.
My parents sold my childhood home, and I literally was 35 years old, but I cried for, like, two and a half weeks. Like, openly wailed.
We're in this really different world of television where everybody is binge watching, and it almost doesn't matter where you're airing.
'Gilmore Girls' was a passion of mine, to the point where Lennon actually can't watch it because if she does, then we might be fully ripping them off.
I found out my baby was visiting Julie Chen a lot, from 'The Talk', and my nanny was just like, 'Oh yeah, that's Julie. We pop in on her all the time.'
If we're having a tough day, we'll bring the babies on, and suddenly, these crew guys who have, like, tattoos all over their necks are cooing and fawning.
For the readers out there, if your girlfriend says she's having a girls' weekend, do not show up with a bottle of rose. No one wants to see your face there.
Even though Laverne and Shirley were always, like, submitting themselves for medical testing and falling asleep on a date or whatever, they always had each other's back.
Shortly after I finished chemo, but during my 12 weeks of radiation, Lennon and I returned to work on the third season of the show we write, produce and star in, 'Playing House.'
We all had jobs that were just fronts. I felt like I was in the mob. I had a job, but that wasn't my real job. My real job was to be an actor. I always knew that and never forgot that.
What I love about 'Modern Family' is that it makes you laugh, and there's hilarious physical gags that are outrageous, but there's real heart to it, and you feel good after you watch it.
I used to joke that, since breastfeeding, my boobs looked like an old athletic sock with some loose change at the bottom, so when I felt a lump the size of a marble, I knew something was terribly wrong.
I think the medium of television is so great for women, especially right now, because I feel like with 'Broad City' and Amy Schumer and 'Girls', the creators are the stars, so their voice is totally pure.
Lennon has an amazing ability to think before she speaks. She doesn't have to constantly be talking. She just thinks, and when she speaks, it's thoughtful. She's very calm. I'm trying to learn that from her.
In my life, I got a haircut junior year of college that was a real wash-'n-go type of situation. It was short. I had six or seven people say I looked just like Hugh Grant. And I was like, 'That's a man. So... that's not nice.'
The way that UCB taught us to improvise, you always start from an inspiration from your life, something that's happened to you or a friend. And then you put a comic game onto it. It always starts from a place of reality, of truth.
I would watch even five minutes of 'Gilmore Girls' a day when I was going through a tough time because I was like, 'I just need to return to where life is simple, and you can get your waffles at Luke's, and everybody knows your name.'
We hope that by sharing my experience - our experience, Lennon and I - that somebody who is going through this process or helping their loved one through it might feel less alone, and might even have some better information for their cancer care.
The truth is that when Lennon is Bosephus, she is so mean to me. She can't smile because the mustache will come off. So in between takes, it's just scowling. And then when we are on camera, Bosephus treats me like a piece of meat. I'm repulsed and also attracted to it.
The one piece of advice I would give to all girlfriends - or guy friends, too, I guess - is that if you're going to have a fight in a Baja Fresh parking lot, make sure one of you has an available pair of sunglasses because whoever is crying is going to want to wear them.
For me, the first thing I fell madly in love with when I was little, was, Gilda Radner had this live performance that she had done at the Met that was on tape, and I could rent it from Video Video in New Jersey where I lived, and so I literally would rent it every two weeks.
Cancer doesn't just happen to me; it happens to my best friend; it happens to everyone who means something in my life... The truth is, it does take a village to take care of somebody who's sick, and so we just, at all times, tried to be authentic to the actual experience we had.