Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
We cannot heal what we cannot feel.
You can't heal what you can't feel!
Shame is the root of all addictions.
Virtue is an inner strength. It expands your nature.
Most people who have survived abuse have great strength.
Ego is to the true self what a flashlight is to a spotlight.
I have never met an aggressive person who wasn’t a fearful person.
The idea of evil is always subject to denial as a coping mechanism.
We move from the illusion of certainty, to the certainty of illusion
Children aren't fooled. They know we give time to the things we love.
It's okay to make mistakes. Mistakes are our teachers - they help us to learn.
It's okay to make mistakes. Mistakes are our teachers -- they help us to learn.
Chronically dysfunctioning families are also delusional. Delusion is sincere denial.
Children are natural Zen masters; their world is brand new in each and every moment.
I believe that this neglected, wounded, inner child of the past is the major source of human misery.
All these feelings need to be felt. We need to stomp and storm; to sob and cry; to perspire and tremble.
Hell, in my opinion, is never finding your true self and never living your own life or knowing who you are.
There are plenty of quacks in the field. Fewer than you'd expect, though still plenty (in alternative medicine).
To truly be committed to a life of honesty, love and discipline, we must be willing to commit ourselves to reality.
I know from my own clinical work that when people are beaten and hurt, they numb out so that they cant feel anymore.
The more we know about how we lost our spontaneous wonder and creativity, the more we can find ways to get them back.
I know from my own clinical work that when people are beaten and hurt, they numb out so that they can't feel anymore.
As a child I was not allowed to express my feelings, so I had to go back through therapy and express the child's pain.
Healthy shame is an emotion that teaches us about our limits. Like all emotions, shame moves us to get our basic needs met.
You can find more traditional Shakespeare than we do. But what we want to bring to these works is energy, passion, freshness.
The foundation for our self-image is grounded in the first three years of life. It comes from our major caretaker's mirroring.
Growing up means leaving home and becoming a self supporting adult. I think this the hardest task any human being hast to face.
Evil is a source of moral intelligence in the sense that we need to learn from our shadow, from our dark side, in order to be good.
The figure of Satan and the fires of hell have been demythologized by modern Christian biblical scholars, theologians and philosophers.
Condemning others as bad or sinful is a way to feel righteous. Such a feeling is a powerful mood alteration and can become highly addictive.
Recovery begins with embracing our pain and taking the risk to share it with others. We do this by joining a group and talking about our pain.
It's essential to tell the truth at all times. This will reduce life's pain. Lying distorts reality. All forms of distorted thinking must be corrected.
True love heals and affects spiritual growth. If we do not grow because of someone else’s love, it’s generally because it is a counterfeit form of love.
It is a mark of soulfulness to be present in the here and now. When we are present, we are not fabricating inner movies. We are seeing what is before us.
In a sense, all of my books have been about a 'poisonous pedagogy,' which engenders a culture of obedience, this underlying theme of patriarchal systems.
When I walked out of the seminary, I was 31, but I was like a scared, frightened kid. I had no place to live, no license, no clothes. I was just a lost soul.
Children need parents who model self-discipline rather than preach it. They learn from what their parents are actually willing to do; not from what they say they do.
I try to get people thinking, to consider their pasts and presents, ultimately encouraging them and giving them the tools to embrace the work of reshaping their lives.
In 'Reclaiming Virtue,' I argue that we have had an element missing in moral education. That element is 'affect.' Affect is simply the technical word for feeling or emotion.
Since the earliest period of our life was preverbal, everything depended on emotional interaction. Without someone to reflect our emotions, we had no way of knowing who we were.
Children are curious and are risk takers. They have lots of courage. They venture out into a world that is immense and dangerous. A child initially trusts life and the processes of life.
The unlimited power that many modern gurus offer is false hope. Their programs calling us to unlimited power have made them rich, not us. They touch our false selves and tap our toxic shame.
The spiritual quest is not some added benefit to our life, something you embark on if you have the time and inclination. We are spiritual beings on an earthly journey. Our spirituality makes up our beingness.
Guilt says I've done something wrong; ... shame says there is something wrong with me. Guilt says I've made a mistake; ... shame says I am a mistake. Guilt says what did was not good; ... shame says I am no good.
The most paradoxical aspect of neurotic shame is that it is the core motivator of the superachieved and the underachieved, the star and the scapegoat, the righteous and the wretched, the powerful and the pathetic.
In my family, as in all dysfunctional families, instead of parents who act as strong and nurturing role models for their children, you get these needy people who use their children. I was the kid who tried to take on the marriage.
Our beliefs create the kind of world we believe in. We project our feelings, thoughts and attitudes onto the world. I can create a different world by changing my belief about the world. Our inner state creates the outer and not vice versa.
The capacity for love that makes dogs such rewarding companions has a flip-side: They find it difficult to cope without us. Since we humans programmed this vulnerability, it's our responsibility to ensure that our dogs do not suffer as a result.
To be shame-bound means that whenever you feel any feeling, need or drive, you immediately feel ashamed. The dynamic core of your human life is grounded in your feelings, needs and drives. When these are bound by shame, you are shamed to the core.
That's the trouble with the conventional doctors. They always say, 'How does it work?' but often there isn't any neat little answer...Something simply works...We don't really know how it works. We say we do. We know one or two things we can see and measure.