Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
What do men want? They want a lot of pals, and they wish that people wouldn't get so mad at them.
You want to know something? We are still in the Dark Ages. The Dark Ages--they haven't ended yet.
Seems like the only kind of job an American can get these days is committing suicide in some way.
I am a monopolar depressive descended from monopolar depressives. That's how come I write so good.
The canary bird in the coal mine theory of the arts: artists should be treasured as alarm systems.
I had no talent for science. What was infinitely worse: all my fraternity brothers were engineers.
And I asked myself about the present: how wide it was, how deep it was, how much was mine to keep.
All right - I'll tell you what you did for me: you went for happy, silly, beautiful walks with me.
I hate it that Americans are taught to fear some books and some ideas as though they were diseases.
In those days great teachers at Shortridge [High School] were celebrities. I would look up to them.
A purpose of human life, no matter who is controlling it, is to love whoever is around to be loved.
Educate yourself, welcome life's messiness, read Chekhov, avoid becoming an architect at all costs.
[I write] intuitively, reflexively, as if skiing down a steep mountain slope with no time to think.
Do you think Arabs are dumb? They gave us our numbers. Try doing long division with Roman numerals.
It's perfectly ordinary to be a socialist. It's perfectly normal to be in favor of fire departments.
We were all gun nuts and they were called varmints, crows were, because they ate grain and so did we.
All people are insane. They will do anything at any time, and God help anybody who looks for reasons.
She was a fool, and so am I, and so is anyone who thinks he sees what God is Doing, [writes Bokonon].
the late twentieth century will go down in history, i'm sure, as an era of pharmaceutical buffoonery.
It shook up Trout to realize that even he could bring evil into the world — in the form of bad ideas.
True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.
For a Russian to be chivalrous with an American is a spiritual impossibility, a conradiction in terms.
That’s the attractive thing about war,” said Rosewater. “Absolutely everybody gets a little something.
Beware of the man who works hard to learn something, learns it, and finds himself no wiser than before.
Characters paralyzed by the meaninglessness of modern life still have to drink water from time to time.
Everything of mine which has been filmed so far has been one character short, and that character is me.
Extenuating circumstance to be mentioned on Judgment Day: We never asked to be born in the first place.
Don't be reckless with other peoples hearts. And don't put up with people that are reckless with yours.
The heartbreaking necessity of lying about reality and the heartbreaking impossibilty of lying about it
There is no order in the world around us, we must adapt ourselves to the requirements of chaos instead.
Another flaw in the human character is that everybody wants to build and nobody wants to do maintenance.
Future generations will look back on TV as the lead in the water pipes that slowly drove the Romans mad.
The primary benefit of practicing any art, whether well or badly, is that it enables one's soul to grow.
What can any one person do?' he said. 'Each person does a little something,' I said, 'and there you are.
There is no way a beautiful woman can live up to what she looks like for any appreciable length of time.
His mother understood my illness immediately, that it was my world rather than myself that was diseased.
Much of the conversation in the country consisted of lines from television shows, both past and present.
I thought scientists were going to find out exactly how everything worked, and then make it work better.
Generally speaking, espionage offers each spy an opportunity to go crazy in a way he finds irresistible.
I love you, because the love you gave me was the only love I've ever had, the only love I ever will have
He ate a pear. It was a hard one. It fought back against his grinding teeth. It snapped in juicy protest.
The artist makes his living by pretending, by putting it in a meaningful hole though no such holes exist.
I chose cultural anthropology, since it offered the greatest opportunity to write high-minded balderdash.
You can't teach people to write well. Writing well is something God lets you do or declines to let you do.
I'm wild again, beguiled again, a whimpering, simpering child again. Bewitched, bothered, bewildered am I.
No matter how wonderful a sentence is, if it doesn't add new and useful information, it should be removed.
This is what I find encouraging about the writing trades: ... They allow lunatics to seem saner than sane.
Nobody will stop you from creating. Do it tonight. Do it tomorrow. That is the way to make your soul grow.
Somebody gets into trouble, then gets out of it again. People love that story. They never get tired of it.
That is the first thing I know for sure: (1.) If the questions don't make sense, neither will the answers.