Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
I am a seasoned performer.
I am the funny, crazy person.
I love being a regular on 'Chelsea Lately!'
Whatever you're destined to do, you will be.
As a stand-up comic, you have to do the road.
I'm fat, and I support fat celebrities, like Oprah.
I appreciate the audience for checking us as comics.
I just do jokes about real situations, pure observation.
Life is funny, and that's why I celebrate it in my shows.
I've been studying myself because I always want to improve.
I never wanted a traditional lifestyle. I'm not that kind of person.
They're smart in Orange County. Smart and rich - just how I like 'em.
I have a fear of being broke. That's what I have a fear of. I'm not kidding.
I tend to be everybody's best friend, and it kind of goes over into my comedy.
I made the conscious decision to not have kids, and I didn't want to be married.
Now AOL is the grandma of online Web services. I mean, we don't need it anymore.
I do think the audiences have a right to judge what they feel is offensive and not.
Everything that I've done on television has helped me to get the exposure that I need.
I like having peace and quiet in my life, and I am perfectly happy in my relationships.
That's a nice thing about being a topical standup: you can add in things to keep it fresh.
If you are a woman with your own money, you have confidence. You have the pick of the litter.
I'm what you call a satisfied single. I don't want to give any trip reports when I come home.
If you think about how many headlining female comics are out there, you could say 15, maybe 20?
Being in the Girl Scouts took me out of the projects environment and showed me different things.
I do talk about celebrity relationships like Kim Kardashian's. I like to find the humor in love.
Really, it hasn't changed for female comics; it's still hard for females to really enter the game.
I have relationships. I date. But it takes a lot to say I'm going to be married and have children.
Black women know that we've got to take care of it - so we take care of it. It's just embedded in us.
The thing is being honest with yourself. There's no rule that says you have to be married and have kids.
The late, great Joan Rivers actually gave me so much advice, and she was so nice to me before she passed.
Seriously, I love my gays. They accept me, and I accept them. Imperfections and all, we accept each other.
Being a female comic and getting a Comedy Central special is an honor because not a lot of women get that.
I'll see something, and I'll go, 'Oh, wow, that's interesting,' because really, comedy comes from the truth.
I used to be an engineer, and I was the worst engineer in the United States of America. That's why I became a comic.
What we're trying to do is take these words and soften them. I'm an African-American comic. I use the b-word in my act.
What helped was that my mother, even though we didn't have a lot of money... allowed me to take part in the Girl Scouts.
When you're a plus-sized girl, belts are your best friends. I also love bright colors and skirts, to show my pretty knees.
I did all this standup comedy in college, and from that point on, I tried to develop myself and get my name back out there.
I worked harder at my craft, and it took some time, but here I am today doing what I want to do, which is entertain people.
I couldn't be where I am today if I had children. My focus would be on my children and home. And you can do it later in life.
Men don't know how to act like men sometimes. Take the trash out. Open up the door. Rub my feet. I mean, it's a two-way street!
Mom was a nurse's aide. She worked in various hospitals. She took care of us that way, and we ate government cheese. I survived.
We provide comedy for everybody, no matter what your race or gender. We just want people to come out and have a really good time.
That's the one thing I have to say to females. If you don't have a certain look, or if you look a certain way, they won't accept you.
Now that I live in Los Angeles, if I meet somebody from Detroit, it's like there's this brother- or sisterhood, where we're real folks.
Being a former engineer, you learn to always go back, study yourself, see what you could've done differently, see what you could've said.
With comedy, I try to steer toward, you know, talking about people that do crazy things, messed-up things. That's what I like to talk about.
Everybody wants to say females aren't as funny as men. That's not true. You just don't see as many because it takes a lot to do this occupation.
We have to remember that people are free to love who they want to love. That also means that black women are free to love who they want to love.
'SNL' ain't been relevant since Jim Belushi. It's on every week; it's not funny. They need to find some black women to put on there to make it funny.