Love is a many trousered thing.

Shut up Jas, you are not Baby Jesus

Vaisey looked like a startled earwig.

I'm not a ice cream, i'm a human being

And that's when it fell off in my hand

He who laughs last laughs the laughiest.

Its okay I'm wearing really big knickers.

How do you make yourself not like someone?

A nod is as good as a wink to a blind badger.

You make me laugh like a loon on loon tablets!

I am exhausted by trying to get along with the Lord.

Rosie get off your desk, and please put your beard away.

Your soul shines through even if you haven't got mascara on

Watching TV mum said," Do you miss your dad?" And I said," Who?

Jas, whatever Tom has under his trousers is between you and him.

Dance of the Sugar Plum Bikey. Yes, that's got a nice ring to it.

He said, "Hi, gorgeous," which I think is nice. I admire honesty.

I wanted to kill her and make her eat her fringe. And her knickers.

Rosie laughed in a not too reassuring way if you like sane laughter.

Here is another marvy glimpse into the gothic basement that I call my mind.

Look, I can't go out with you, because... because... because I'm a lesbian.

Still, life carries on. Exams to be examined. Serious things to be thingied.

Honestly, what planet do these people live on? And why isn't it farther away?

As I have often said, she has two styles of acting: with or without the beard.

Everyone is so obsessed with themselves nowadays that they have no time for me.

What in the name of Hitler's panties and matching bra set was she talking about?

He had everything a dream boy should have. Back, front, sides, Everything. A head.

If you fall down those stairs and break both of your legs, don't come running to me!

This soft grass suggests 'softness' to me, but also at the same time 'lying-down-ness'.

P.P.S. I am giving you telepathic hugs. P.P.P.S. But not in a telepathically lezzie way.

He has a song in his heart for me. I hope it is not "Shut Uppa You Face, Whatsa Matta You.

This is the first day of the rest of my life. So why is my hair sticking up like a cockerel?

Some things in life are not pleasant but they have to be done. For instance, German and maths.

You wouldn't say ' You've got the crappest eyes I've ever seen. Your eyes make me physically sick.

Jassie, guess what I'm dancing in!' 'I don't know, a bowl?' 'Non... I am dancing in my Nuddy-pants!

I like the idea that I can talk to any teenage girls. You know, in a language that makes sense to them.

He came over and ruffled my hair, which is technically assault. I could get on the blower to ChildLine.

When Mutti and Vati came in I didn't speak to them. I just unfurled the CAT MOLESTERS banner I had made.

At that point Ms Fox came in and said, "Hello, carry on as if I am not here." Then she lay down on the floor.

I am soooo excited, I am over-excited. I'm hysterical, I may have to slap my own face in a minute at this rate.

How many times do we all have to do this? Get up, go to school, again? Before everyone admits it's a crap idea?

I don't want to be rude to the afflicted but Uncle Eddie is bald in a way which is the baldest I have ever seen.

Cor, love a duck. And also Lawks-a-mercy. I said that inwardly, but outwardly I said, "Blimey, and also, what larks.

Shakespeare is just some bloke who keeps ranting "what light trough yonder window breaks" its the moon for god sakes!

I can already feel myself getting fed up with boys and I haven't had anything to do with them yet" - Georgia Nicolson

When uncle Eddie does his impression of 'Like a Virgin' it's like Madonna is coming out of his body!' Christ what an image.

Unbelievable! I said, "What would I be doing walking the streets at night as a stuffed olive- gate-crashing cocktail parties?

What if you were really meant to be with someone? But you kept messing about and having the Horn and so on and you lost them.

I will not have him in my brain;there is no room for anyone else in the cakeshop of agony. it's crowded enough in there already.

The fly in her argument is that when she says, 'they' will feel like lemons, we don't know who 'they' are. And 'they' might BE lemons.

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