Quotes by Matt Roper - Page 1

I can't abide small talk.
Matt Roper / Comedian
I Can
Small Talk
Abide
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We must remember to enjoy ourselves.
Matt Roper / Comedian
Enjoy
Remember
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I'm a Taurus, you know. A bull. I belong in a field.
Matt Roper / Comedian
Bulls
Fields
Taurus
Belong
Bull
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I want truth. I'm crying out to hear it. I need it like oxygen.
Matt Roper / Comedian
Needs
Oxygen
Want
Crying
Hear
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Seven thirty in the morning is too early for a man of my standing.
Matt Roper / Comedian
Men
Morning
Seven
Standing
Thirty
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I'm the worst ad anyone could possibly be for abstaining from anything.
Matt Roper / Comedian
Abstaining
Ads
Worst
Ad
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Milk which is just about to turn is akin to that moment spent on the cusp of failure in a dulled and fettered relationship.
Matt Roper / Comedian
Cusp
Milk
Moments
That Moment
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If comedians were truly free of repression, there would not be an inherent need to perform for the love of a roomful of total strangers.
Matt Roper / Comedian
Inherent
Repression
Comedians
Total
Strangers
Roomful
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Here I sit, beneath the large window of a first-floor Georgian flat, exploring the corridors of my sordid imagination for comedic words of beauty.
Matt Roper / Comedian
Imagination
Comedic
Exploring
Window
Beneath
Corridor
Georgian
Large
Sordid
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I like a decent funeral, and God knows in my family we've seen enough of them. Looking through family photographs now is like watching an episode of 'Dad's Army.
Matt Roper / Comedian
Dad
Army
Funeral
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I like a decent funeral, and God knows in my family we've seen enough of them. Looking through family photographs now is like watching an episode of 'Dad's Army.'
Matt Roper / Comedian
Army
Decent
Funeral
Photographs
Episode
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I once knew a girl who didn't know where anywhere was in the world. Not a clue. I asked her if she knew where Africa was and she answered, 'Is it the orange one on a map?'
Matt Roper / Comedian
Girl
Clue
Orange
World
Africa
Answered
Anywhere
Asked
Map
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Looking through family photographs now is like watching an episode of 'Dad's Army.' My relatives seem to drop like flies around me. Who's next? Will it be someone I can't stand?
Matt Roper / Comedian
Army
Family Dad Me
Photographs
Drop
Episode
Relatives
Seem
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I've spent so much of my adult life in relationships that it's actually quite pleasant to be alone at last. I turned thirty-six the other day, which staggers me when I think about it.
Matt Roper / Comedian
Adults
Lasts
Pleasant
Thinking
Adult Life
Life Alone Me
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I have two vintage typewriters. One just about works and the other hasn't a hope in hell, bless it. But they're both beautiful, and they'll stay with me just as long as there's a roof over my head.
Matt Roper / Comedian
Beautiful
Bless
Hell
Roof
Typewriters
Vintage
Hope Beautiful Me
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Successful writers say you should never work from a desk with a view, and the view I have from this one is a huge distraction. There's a garden bursting with fresh vegetation, and just beyond the high wall at the end of it, I can see the sign of the local pub across the road. Distractions, eh? I'm so easily led.
Matt Roper / Comedian
Bursting
Distraction
Garden
Vegetation
Desk
Eh
Fresh
Led
Pub
Copy Quote

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Matt Roper Quotes - Page 1

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