Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
If only we could be old and sick while we're still young and healthy enough to put up with it!
It must infuriate our children to see us always so much more forbearing with everybody else's.
Tragedy isn't getting something, or failing to get it; it's losing something you already have.
We are keenly aware of the faults of our friends, but if they like us enough it doesn't matter.
A woman's mink coat represents the sacrifice of a lot of little animals, including her husband.
If you're a gifted flirt, talking about the price of eggs will do as well as any other subject.
Hot dogs always seem better out than at home; so do French-fried potatoes; so do your children.
Surrounded by people who love life, you love it too; surrounded by people who don't, you don't.
Desire creates havoc when it is the only thing between two people, or when it is what's missing.
A woman telling her true age is like a buyer confiding his final price to an Armenian rug dealer.
It does not undo harm to acknowledge that we have done it; but it undoes us not to acknowledge it.
It took man thousands of years to put words down on paper, and his lawyers still wish he wouldn't.
Most of us can easily do two things at once; what's all but impossible is to do one thing at once.
Goods are displayed by thousands of shopkeepers with a sense of beauty that finds no other outlet.
I'm afraid to win, and afraid to lose; I hate a draw and can't stop competing; otherwise I'm fine.
There are so many things that we wish we had done yesterday, so few that we feel like doing today.
You will turn over many a futile new leaf till you learn we must all write on scratched-out pages.
There are whole years for which I hope I'll never be cross-examined, for I could not give an alibi.
We are irritated by rascals, intolerant of fools, and prepared to love the rest. But where are they?
One of life's few really reliable pleasures: to have a family you love, and to leave them for a week.
Your children vividly remember every unkind thing you ever did to them, plus a few you really didn't.
Naturally, the neurotic wants you to love him twice as much, for he's going to cut it in half anyway.
Things are never so bad that they can't get worse. But they're sometimes so bad they can't get better.
My religious position: I think that God could do a lot better, and I'm willing to give Him the chance.
Puritans will never believe it, but life is full of disagreeable things that aren't even good for you.
Men really prefer reasonably attractive women; they go after the sensational ones to impress other men.
We sometimes feel that we have been really understood, but it was always long ago, by someone now dead.
Character is what emerges from all the little things you were too busy to do yesterday, but did anyway.
Neurotics think of the past with resentment, and the future with dread; the present just doesn't exist.
Grasp your opportunities, no matter how poor your health; nothing is worse for your health than boredom.
Spiritual sloth, or acedia, was known as The Sin of the Middle Ages. It's the sin of my middle age, too.
The three horrors of modern life - talk without meaning, desire without love, work without satisfaction.
When a man falls in love, he wants to go to bed. When a woman falls in love, she wants to talk about it.
Your children tell you casually years later what it would have killed you with worry to know at the time.
How can a man marry wisely in his twenties? The girl he's going to wind up wanting hasn't even been born.
Vanity, revenge, loneliness, boredom, all apply: lust is one of the least of the reasons for promiscuity.
In life, as in restaurants, we swallow a lot of indigestible stuff just because it comes with the dinner.
Philosophy teaches a man that he can't take it with him; taxes teach him he can't leave it behind either.
There's something in every atheist, itching to believe, and something in every believer, itching to doubt.
I'm always there to tell people that their life is not that bad. I wish it was easy to follow that advice.
Neurotics always feel as though they were going way up or way down, which is odd in people going sideways.
Happiness is like the penny candy of our youth: we got a lot more for our money back when we had no money.
With men, as with women, the main struggle is between vanity and comfort; but with men, comfort often wins.
When first we fall in love, we feel that we know all there is to know about life, and perhaps we are right.
Most sermons sound to me like commercials - but I can't make out whether God is the Sponsor or the Product.
Your money, or your life. We know what to do when a burglar makes this demand of us, but not when God does.
A productive marriage requires falling in enjoy numerous occasions, usually with the identical man or woman.
The neurotic listens to weather reports about Small Craft Warnings, and he thinks: They're talking about me.
Even in the same family, one child will always instinctively know when to ask for things, and another won't.
Neurosis is no worse than a bad cold; you ache all over, and it's made you a mess, but you won't die from it.