Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
How tired God must be of guilt and loneliness, for that is all we ever bring to Him.
If there is something you must do and you cannot do it, you cannot do anything else.
Forget about calories - everything makes thin people thinner, and fat people fatter.
Many marriages are simply working partnerships between businessmen and housekeepers.
The only courage that matters is the kind that gets you from one moment to the next.
A car is useless in New York, essential everywhere else. The same with good manners.
Some women love only what they can hold in their arms; others, only what they can't.
People will disapprove of you if you're unhappy, or if you're happy in The Wrong Way.
All women are basically in competition with each other for a handful of eligible men.
For the happiest life, days should be rigorously planned, nights left open to chance.
God is less careful than General Motors, for He floods the world with factory rejects.
Men never know how tired they are till their wives sit them down for a nice long talk.
Likely as not, the child you can do the least with will do the most to make you proud.
The poor have the same basic pleasures as the rich, and the rich will always resent it.
It's hard to feel middle-aged, because how can you tell how long you are going to live?
People find it hard to be both comic and serious, though life manages it easily enough.
Whether or not you love television, you've got to admit that it certainly loves itself.
A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.
When we discuss those we love with those who do not love them, the end of love is near.
When suffering comes, we yearn for some sign from God, forgetting we have just had one.
A husband only worries about a particular Other Man; a wife distrusts her whole species.
Life marks us all down, so it's just as well that we start out by overpricing ourselves.
We waste a lot of time running after people we could have caught by just standing still.
Our strength is often composed of the weakness that we're damned if we're going to show.
Those who turn to God for comfort may find comfort but I do not think they will find God.
Neurotics are sure that no one understands them, and they wouldn't have it any other way.
You can't truthfully explain your smallest action without fully revealing your character.
There's nothing wrong with most men's egos that the kowtowing of a headwaiter can't cure.
Many things can make you miserable for weeks; few can bring you a whole day of happiness.
The neurotic thinks himself both Hamlet and Claudius, in a world that belongs to Polonius.
As we are human, we can't do what we can't do; as we're neurotic, we can't do what we can.
The neurotic longs to touch bottom, so at least he won't have that to worry about anymore.
Women are never landlocked: they're always mere minutes away from the briny deep of tears.
Don't look for God where He is needed most; if you didn't bring Him there, He isn't there.
My doctor is nice; every time I see him, I'm ashamed of what I think of doctors in general.
Says the rude child: "No, I won't do it." Says the courteous grown-up: "Yes, I won't do it.
Spring, summer, and fall fill us with hope; winter alone reminds us of the human condition.
We are never more self-righteous than when giving up what we should have shunned all along.
The hardest-learned lesson: that people have only their kind of love to give, not our kind.
We all become great explorers during our first few days in a new city, or a new love affair.
In the theater, as in life, we prefer a villain with a sense of humor to a hero without one.
In the arithmetic of love, one plus one equals everything, and two minus one equals nothing.
There are a handful of people whom money won't spoil, and we all count ourselves among them.
The neurotic keeps minute track of his enemies; it is only his friends he is careless about.
Neurotics would like to sleep all the time, and to be awakened only when there is good news.
Tough and funny and a little bit kind: that is as near to perfection as a human being can be.
Creative work is one of life's greatest pleasures, and the only one we will gladly interrupt.
An artist usually has no friends except other artists, and usually they do not like his work.
Too much money is as demoralizing as too little, and there's no such thing as exactly enough.
Neurotics expect you to remember all the things that they tell you, and many that they don't.