Quotes by Nikki Glaser - Page 2

I love what I do, but living in one place for an entire year and not being on the road constantly was glorious. The road lifestyle is not ideal for a woman who's about to be thirty.
Nikki Glaser / Comedian
Glorious
Lifestyle
Thirty
Ideal
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I'm in a relationship and have never been on Tinder as a single woman, but from what I have seen, I think it is always good to have a picture with an animal to show that you are kind.
Nikki Glaser / Comedian
Animal
Good Relationship Always
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College is good discipline. That's what I learned there: pull an all-nighter, get it done, and get an A. I'm the biggest procrastinator, and I learned how to be an efficient procrastinator.
Nikki Glaser / Comedian
Discipline
Efficient
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Just sharing things that are either embarrassing or possibly relatable, searching for that laugh so that someone makes me feel less alone. Like, 'Oh, they laughed, so they get what I'm saying.
Nikki Glaser / Comedian
Embarrassing
Laughed
Alone Me Feel
Searching
Sharing
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I had a guy on Facebook for, like, years just asking if he could PayPal me money, and of course I have to say no when, really, I'm just like, 'Why wouldn't I? He doesn't want anything for it.'
Nikki Glaser / Comedian
Paypal
Money Me Anything
Facebook
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Why am I sharing this part of my life when it opens me up to judgment? But part of me wants to share that part of my life because I think non-monogamy is a normal thing for human beings to want.
Nikki Glaser / Comedian
Life Me My Life
Opens
Sharing
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No one's too big for a compliment. A lot of times, people think with celebrities, 'Oh, she knows she's great in that!' Meryl Streep still likes a compliment. I guarantee you, it touches her heart.
Nikki Glaser / Comedian
Heart
People
Thinking
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I remember thinking years ago about getting a half special, 'When you get that, that will be it. That will be all you need to feel validated in this world.' I feel like that special was just another set.
Nikki Glaser / Comedian
Thinking World Remember
Validated
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I just got a new dog, so I was worried that he'd hate the fireworks, and he did, but just because he's not a patriot, not because of the loud sounds. The loud sounds he's fine with - he just hates America.
Nikki Glaser / Comedian
Fireworks
Loud
Patriot
Worried
Hates
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My logic used to be if I get angry at my boyfriend, he could say, 'Well, if that thing I do that I don't want to stop doing makes you mad, I don't need to be with you. Bye!' And then he'd leave me. Forever.
Nikki Glaser / Comedian
Boyfriend
Angry
Bye
Logic
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The transgender bathroom thing - it's just so obvious that people are scared of what they don't understand. It's like, 'I don't want to deal with the fact that some people might have been born in the wrong body.'
Nikki Glaser / Comedian
Bathroom
Body
Born
Might
Obvious
Scared
Transgender
Understand
Thing
Been
Deal
Wrong
Fact
Some
Some People
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It strikes me as pretty interesting and cool how girls support each other in this business. I've never felt so much support in my life than from my fellow female comedians. I attribute much of my success to some of them.
Nikki Glaser / Comedian
Strikes
Life Cool Success
Attribute
Comedians
Fellow
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I have to say that it's fun to write for young girls, and it's exciting to know that we're influencing them and they're looking at us like, 'I want to grow up and be like them.' I mean, I just made up the person saying that.
Nikki Glaser / Comedian
Influencing
Young Girls
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I remember the 'Jenny McCarthy Show' being kind of funny, and I remember her being just like one of the boys. I remember her being counter to everything I thought girls should be on TV, or whatever. I kind of liked her vibe.
Nikki Glaser / Comedian
Tv
Boy
Counter
Liked
Mccarthy
Vibe
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I am a woman, so I never want to hide that or be like, 'I'm one of the boys,' because I'm not. I am aware of our audience. We always aim for the right combo of not hitting people over head but still getting our message across.
Nikki Glaser / Comedian
Aim
Hitting
Always I Am People
Hide
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A lot of being a woman in this business is about how you look... That's not why we're even in this business; that's not what people want from us. We're valuable because we're funny and because we have a voice and a point of view.
Nikki Glaser / Comedian
Point Of View
Valuable
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No guy is ever gonna be like, 'Well, I'm not into her because she just doesn't seem into me!' That's never been a complaint for why a guy doesn't like a girl. Ever! That's an attractive thing, so always err on the side of aloofness.
Nikki Glaser / Comedian
Girl
Attractive Things
Guy
Sides
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We just learned about this fetish where guys just give women money and know that they are spending their money. It's not like a sugar daddy thing. It's like financial domination, or something like that. These guys just want to give you money.
Nikki Glaser / Comedian
Women
Daddy
Domination
Fetish
Financial
Spending
Sugar
Money Where Know
Give
Guys
Learned
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I think I deal with my anger toward my relationship or about my relationship or about my friendships or my family - I deal with it on stage in a passive-aggressive way, and that can be very harmful if it gets back to them, which it always does.
Nikki Glaser / Comedian
Anger
Relationship
Stage
Deal
Friendships
Gets
Harmful
Toward
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My boyfriend and I are not good at fighting. We're better than we were when we started dating - two breakups and three years ago - but it's never come naturally to either of us. I have often wished we fought like I imagine Pink and Carey Hart fight.
Nikki Glaser / Comedian
Boyfriend
Dating
Hart
Good Fighting Fight
Naturally
Fought
Pink
Wished
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I've been doing stand-up for a few years, and I have a handful of fans just from stuff I've done, like 'Last Comic Standing.' And as a fan of stand-ups myself ... like, when I first discovered Sarah Silverman, I wanted to know everything about her life.
Nikki Glaser / Comedian
Handful
Sarah
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I've talked about my relationship without consulting my boyfriend about whether or not he wants that talked about, and I've also taken a story that has happened with us and, for comedic purposes, exaggerated it or changed it in some way that made him look not great.
Nikki Glaser / Comedian
Boyfriend
Relationship
Changed
Comedic
Consulting
Exaggerated
Made
Taken
Great Look Way
Him
Purposes
Wants
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My standup is years and years of me working things out on the road. I'm really proud of it! A lot of it is about, well... I don't know why I feel this way, but I feel like every special or show I do is some variation on how I feel like I'm not a girl, not yet a woman.
Nikki Glaser / Comedian
Variation
Standup
Years And Years
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I wasn't a good-looking child. I got screwed out of the genetic deal. My sister looks like a model. I think that's why I'm a comic. I'm deeply insecure, since I was always feeling ugly. I wasn't a healthy child. I had poor self-esteem. That's why I need people's approval.
Nikki Glaser / Comedian
Sister
Approval
Comic
Healthy
Insecure
Looks
Poor
Self Esteem
Ugly
Child
Since
Deal
Deeply
Feeling
Model
Genetic
Good-Looking
Screwed
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Jimmy Fallon's strengths are that he's fun, and he's good at impressions, and he's musically inclined. And my strength is that I'm a joke writer, but I also have no filter, and I think that that's not a talent per se, but it's just a thing about myself that I have found that people like about what I do.
Nikki Glaser / Comedian
Jimmy
Joke
Filter
Per
Impressions
Inclined
Musically
Strengths
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Nikki Glaser Quotes - Page 2

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