Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
Noel Coward said work is more fun than fun, but then he didn't work in the Bird's Eye factory packing frozen fish fingers nine hours a day, did he?
I don't go for glamour roles.
Times are hard and friends are few
Times are hard and friends are few.
If I wanted your opinion, I'd slap it outta ya.
Comedy, your funny bone, is formed in childhood.
What was I drinking last night? Furniture polish?
I love looking after animals. I find it very enjoyable.
I dress up as a middle-aged prostitute and do a game show.
I've got four dogs, eight chickens, 10 sheep and six pigs.
I like a Blackpool breakfast, me - 20 ciggies and a pot of tea.
When my dog Buster died, I couldn't get over it. I was in bits.
Writing is such a solitary existence, and I can only do it late at night.
I like to travel, and I would love to be fluent in at least four languages.
I'd rather do community service than sit and write a load of Christmas cards.
I was Popeye mad when I was a kid, and I'd eat spinach until the cows came home.
I am quite happy to take a cut. You've got to, if you want to work and continue working.
I don't like awards ceremonies. I'd sooner go to the pub with mates I've known for years.
I can eat beef, provided it's minced in disguise. I couldn't eat a gammon steak. Forget it.
It's become normal for me to walk on set as Popeye, Frankenstein or an Elf or even a chicken.
I go in the butchers and there's not a lot of meat I can eat these days, with having all the animals.
I don't want to sit until I'm 90 with people running around after me. I'm not one for sitting on the couch.
I only like doing live telly. It's great because you go in and do it and then go home. No edit, no retakes.
Taking a pay cut won't demotivate me, not at all. It's not about money in the first place. It's about the job.
Every week I have a disaster in my kitchen. The fire alarm goes off repeatedly. But it doesn't stop me being adventurous.
The worst drivers are women in people carriers, men in white vans and anyone in a baseball cap. That's just about everyone.
Channel 4 are a great bunch of people to work with and the crew are lovely. Working at ITV was like being in the court of Caligula.
I still consider myself working class. I know my circumstances have changed dramatically since I was growing up back in Birkenhead.
I enjoyed school - although I ran away on the first day. I'd reminded the teacher that it was nearly time for 'Watch With Mother' on TV.
You can draw the character out of pets, and you can make them your friends, but they are animals, and they have to be allowed to live the lives of animals.
I was born late - what my mother calls the last kick of a dying horse. There's three of us children, but I'm 13 or 14 years younger than my brother and sister.
Mum and Dad died of heart problems, my grandparents died of it, my sister has had mini strokes, my brother has had a heart attack - it's genetic; there's nothing I can do.
I'm not a businessman. I could pack it in, but I like work. I don't want to sound like Catherine Cookson, but I've worked since I was eight, with a paper round and in a fruit and veg shop.
I was a really picky eater as a child. Because I was obsessed by Popeye, my mum and aunts would put my food in a can to represent spinach and we'd hum the Popeye tune and then I'd happily eat it.
I went to work for the Civil Service. I'd wanted to work for the Ministry of Defence because I had some far-fetched idea that it had something to do with the Avengers, but I ended up in Social Security.
The person I always enjoy having a meal with is Cilla Black. I might not see her for months, but then I'll pick her up at her flat, and we'll go to a restaurant, and it's like I've seen her that morning.
My primary school teacher once poured a bottle of curdled school milk forcefully down my throat. Then I threw it up all over her suede shoes. I'd rather have drunk from the spittoon in Barney's barber shop.
I dont live with people, thats why my relationships last. Im not romantic. Even when I was a teenager if somebody asked if they could hold my hand Id say, - no, its not heavy, I can hold it myself, thank you.
I don't live with people, that's why my relationships last. I'm not romantic. Even when I was a teenager if somebody asked if they could hold my hand I'd say, - no, it's not heavy, I can hold it myself, thank you'.
I think it's bad for fellas when they lose their mothers. Mine was such a character. Oh it was sad, really sad. And, with her gone, the family home was gone, so what was left of any roots I had were completely dug up.
I don't want to sound like Catherine Cookson but I've worked since I was eight, with a paper round and in a fruit and veg shop. Taking a pay cut won't demotivate me, not at all. It's not about money in the first place. It's about the job.
I make a wonderful cure-all called Four Thieves, just like my mum did. It's cider vinegar, 36 cloves of garlic and four herbs, representing four looters of plague victims' homes in 1665 who had their sentences reduced from burning at the stake to hanging for explaining the recipe that kept them from catching the plague.
I've frequently been asked over the years who Lily Savage was based on and I've always answered that it was no one in particular and she was just a figment of my imagination. The truth, I realise now, is that Lily owes a lot to the women I encountered in my childhood. Characteristics and attitudes were observed and absorbed, Aunty Chris's in particular, and they provided the roots and compost for the Lily that would germinate and grow later on.
