Quotes by Robert Klein - Page 1

Comedy has lost its eloquence.
Robert Klein / Stand-Up Comedian
Eloquence
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Fear is the greatest salesman.
Robert Klein / Stand-Up Comedian
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My son has been a class clown and it sort of ran in the family.
Robert Klein / Stand-Up Comedian
Class
Clown
Ran
Son
Class Clown
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Regis and I were inducted into the original Bronx Walk of Fame.
Robert Klein / Stand-Up Comedian
Bronx
Fame
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I learned more at The Second City than I did at Yale for all that high tuition.
Robert Klein / Stand-Up Comedian
Cities
Tuition
Yale
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I'm not against profanity. It's an important part of the language when used properly.
Robert Klein / Stand-Up Comedian
Profanity
Important Part
Properly
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When I started, there was no comedy community, no comedy industry; there were comedians.
Robert Klein / Stand-Up Comedian
Comedy
Comedians
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I was brought up at 3525 Decatur Avenue, in the north Bronx, right next to Woodlawn Cemetery.
Robert Klein / Stand-Up Comedian
Bronx
Cemetery
Next
Avenue
North
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I have what we call a 'symphony act.' I'm the only comedian, I think, in the country that does it.
Robert Klein / Stand-Up Comedian
Comedian
Symphony
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And the only studies were - Rodney Dangerfield was my mentor and he was my Yale drama school for comedy.
Robert Klein / Stand-Up Comedian
Drama
School
Yale
Drama School
Rodney
Studies
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The Broad research center represents the highest quality model of what Proposition 71 should be funding.
Robert Klein / Stand-Up Comedian
Funding
Research
Broad
Center
Model
Proposition
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My 1974 album 'Mind Over Matter' was a detailed thing about Watergate. I always had some righteous indignation.
Robert Klein / Stand-Up Comedian
Indignation
Righteous
Watergate
Detailed
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I was a class clown. My father was a class clown. My son has been a class clown, and it sort of ran in the family.
Robert Klein / Stand-Up Comedian
Clown
Ran
Class Clown
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The `50s were terrifying with nuclear bomb stuff but boring in a social way and then the `60s were happening, and remember, there was no AIDS.
Robert Klein / Stand-Up Comedian
Bombs
Nuclear
Stuff
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The '50s were terrifying with nuclear bomb stuff but boring in a social way, and then the '60s were happening, and remember, there was no AIDS.
Robert Klein / Stand-Up Comedian
Aids
Nuclear
Nuclear Bomb
Bomb
Terrifying
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In some articles written about me, writers have said I'm a link between the old and the new, and I think, in a certain sense, that's legitimate.
Robert Klein / Stand-Up Comedian
Articles
Me New Old
Link
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In the book of things people more often do wrong than right, investing must certainly top the list, followed closely by wallpapering and eating artichokes
Robert Klein / Stand-Up Comedian
Book
Investing
People
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In the fifties I had dreams about touching a naked woman and she would turn to bronze or the dream about hot dogs chasing donuts through the Lincoln Tunnel.
Robert Klein / Stand-Up Comedian
Dream
Bronze
Chasing
Dog
Donuts
Hot
Naked
Touching
Tunnels
Dogs
Fifties
Hot Dogs
Lincoln
Tunnel
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I have a work-out regime; I am not a maniac. It sounds cliche, but stand-up comedy, doing a one-man show, helps keep me young, and yes, it is exhausting, but I don't collapse.
Robert Klein / Stand-Up Comedian
Men
Collapse
Comedy
Exhausting
One Man
Sound
Stand Up Comedy
Work Out
I Am Me Comedy
Me Keep I Am
Helps
Maniac
Regime
Sounds
Yes
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I did the first HBO special ever in 1975 at Haverford College. Cable was new then: HBO was a Time-Life entity, with maybe 400,000 or 500,000 subscribers and maybe 50 employees.
Robert Klein / Stand-Up Comedian
Entity
Hbo
Cable
Employees
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I was in the De Witt Clinton Hight School marching band. One of the worst bands ever formed. When we played the national anthem, people from every country stood - except Americans.
Robert Klein / Stand-Up Comedian
Country
People
School
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But I think the other is a little more like bullfighting, a little more daring and although I appreciate good acting and I liked being versatile my whole career, it kept me working.
Robert Klein / Stand-Up Comedian
Appreciate
Careers
Daring
Fighting
Good Acting
Thinking
Versatile
Good Me More
Although
Good Me Acting
Liked
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What makes a good nanny? A good nanny is someone who really wants to do the job. Someone who loves children, who really values what she does and, of course, is valued by her employer.
Robert Klein / Stand-Up Comedian
Employer
Valued
Loves
Nanny
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So it took me five years because in the interim I have been doing a lot of personal appearances and movies and some television series that went into the plumbing and I stopped writing for a while.
Robert Klein / Stand-Up Comedian
Five
Interim
Plumbing
Series
Television
Movies Me Doing
Appearances
Personal Appearances
Took
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Comedy is still alive, and there are still funny people. Jews are still overrepresented in comedy and psychiatry and underrepresented in the priesthood. That immigrant Jewish humor is still with us.
Robert Klein / Stand-Up Comedian
Alive
Comedy
Funny People
People
Priesthood
Psychiatry
Jewish
Immigrant
Jews
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I wrote my book 'The Amorous Busboy Of Decatur Avenue' completely like a writer does, writing it down, re-writing everything. But in my stand-up, I improvise initially, never questioning it too closely.
Robert Klein / Stand-Up Comedian
Amorous
Questioning
Writer
Avenue
Closely
Improvise
Initially
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But to do it professionally is a quantum leap difference and my father had to be persuaded by these kind of Ivy League professors that I should go to the Yale Drama School, another one of the stories in there.
Robert Klein / Stand-Up Comedian
Drama
Ivy
Ivy League
Leap
Quantum
Quantum Leap
Drama School
Persuaded
Professionally
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I guess I'm pleased and proud of the respect of my peers, and that when I disappear from the scene or from this earth, I will have left a mark. They'll say, 'He did it well.' I like being funny; it opens people up.
Robert Klein / Stand-Up Comedian
Being Funny
Disappear
Peers
Opens
Pleased
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[T]he Super Bowl, the quintessential American creation. A dizzying mélange of brilliant entrepreneurship in an atmosphere of intense competition. It is the perfect show for the most intensely competitive culture in this solar system.
Robert Klein / Stand-Up Comedian
Atmosphere
Competition
Perfect
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There are certain families who absolutely incorporate their nanny as part of the family, and there are other people, and there are codes for this, when they call in, they say, 'I am really not looking for a friend.' It is clear they will not be members of the family.
Robert Klein / Stand-Up Comedian
Family I Am People
Codes
Incorporate
Nanny
They Say
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There is a cliche that probably has some anecdotal evidence on the side that comedians are very depressed people, but that's because no one is ever going to seem as funny in a normal conversation as compared to when they're up there onstage in the spotlight making a huge audience keel over with laughter.
Robert Klein / Stand-Up Comedian
Conversation
Evidence
Laughter
Spotlight
Anecdotal
Comedians
Depressed
Huge Audience
Onstage
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I love live theater. I get my rocks off by doing stand-up, and I am the only actor. But to show up eight times a week and not have that time for myself; to do someone else's lines? When I work for Wendy Wasserstein or Terrence McNally, Neil Simon or even Shakespeare, I do not have the right to change the lines.
Robert Klein / Stand-Up Comedian
Live Theater
Rocks
Love Change Work
Neil
Shakespeare
Simon
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One of my greatest inspirations for stand-up was Jonathan Winters. He was a genius. One thing about him, and also Lenny Bruce, is that they were in the tradition of the one-man show. That's why Richard Pryor was so great, and George Carlin, too. They prowled the stage, they used voices, they were really talents.
Robert Klein / Stand-Up Comedian
One Man
Stage
Greatest
Bruce
Carlin
Talents
George
Inspirations
Jonathan
Lenny
Pryor
Voices
Winters
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I'd walk into the school, smell that institutional smell of the tomato soup, peanut butter, disinfectant, and boys room. Pass the lunchroom, see the familiar lunchroom lady with the white dress and net on her hair. At the end of 50 years of distinguished service the Board of Education gives her a bronze net - with her name on it. It stems from the Board of Education rule to keep her hair out of the food.
Robert Klein / Stand-Up Comedian
Boys
Hair
School
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I have no statistics to prove it, but I'm sure the American workplace will be adversely affected on Monday, the day after XXIV. The game will be the focus of conversation, and distractions happy and sad will be the order of the day, not to mention millions of hangovers. I wouldn't buy a toaster or a parachute manufactured the day after Super Bowl XXIV. You cannot engender such torrid anticipation for an event so great that it requires Roman numerals as a suffix, then expect there to be no social repercussions at its end.
Robert Klein / Stand-Up Comedian
Hangover
Monday
Order
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According to one account of the New York City schools during the 1950s: The teacher could not technically hit the child, but the old crones found ways of skirting the rules. The push-probe-pull method was popular, in which the teacher would not hit you, but would poke you with her gnarled, witch-like fingers and grab your face like a taffy pull until you screamed. ... The pull-and-choke was also a favorite. It was executed by pulling the compulsory necktie up like a noose, until the errant boy's face turned the school colors.
Robert Klein / Stand-Up Comedian
New York
Teacher
Bullying
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Robert Klein Quotes - Page 1

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