What is government but theft by consent?

My name's Jean Tannen, and I'm the ambush.

You're ten pints of crazy in a one-pint glass.

To us — richer and cleverer than everyone else!

When the sky’s falling, I take shelter under bullshit.

I suspect this is all gonna end in screaming and drowning

Cold walls do not a prison make, nor iron bands a bondsman.

I'm not as reckless as I used to be. You know, when I was little.

Stand aside, and try not to catch fire if I shed sparks of genius.

Any man can fart in a closed room and say that he commands the wind

Throwing blondes at Locke Lamora was not unlike throwing lettuce at sharks.

When you can't cheat the game, you'd best find a means to cheat the players.

Enlightenment! When it comes, it comes like a brick to the head, doesn't it?

There’s no freedom quite like the freedom of being constantly underestimated.

You can't help being young, but it's past time that you stopped being stupid.

My disinterest in your bullshit is so tangible you could make bricks out of it

Yeah, but if I don't start my nervous pacing now, I'll never have it all done in time.

If reassurances could dull pain, nobody would ever go to the trouble of pressing grapes.

Are you smarter than a pig, Locke?” “On occasion,” said Locke. “There are contrary opinions.

I can’t name the poison that’s killing your friend. But the one that’s killing you is called hope.

Nobody admires anyone else without qualification. If they do they're after an image, not a person.

We like what we like, we want what we want, and nobody needs to give us permission to feel that way!

It was strange, how readily authority could be conjured with nothing but a bit of strutting jackassery.

In the glass burrow beneath their feet, the flames began to rise. First the flames, and then the screams

I think piracy is a bit like drinking. You want to stay out all night doing it, you pay the price the next day.

So that makes us robbers of robbers," said Bug, "who pretend to be robbers working for a robber of other robbers.

You're one third bad intentions,one third pure avarice,and one eighth sawdust.What's left,I'll credit,must be brains.

I don't have to beat you. I don't have to beat you, motherfucker. I just have to keep you here... until Jean shows up.

You simply collapsed, sir. In layman's terms, your body revoked its permission for you to continue heaping abuse upon it.

Difficult" and "impossible" are cousins often mistaken for one another, with very little in common." (Locke Lamora to Requin)

They kissed for the sort of endless moment that only exists between lovers whose lips are still new territory to one another.

You can knock down kingdoms on a whim. What you need is someone to make sure you don't get hit by a carriage when you cross the street.

Quit being so hard on yourself. We are what we are; we love what we love. We don't need to justify it to anyone... not even to ourselves.

A boy may be as disagreeable as he pleases, but when a girl refuses to crap sunshine on command, the world mutters darkly about her moods.

What kind of knife is this?” Locke held a rounded buttering utensil up for Chains’ inspection. “It’s all wrong. You couldn’t kill anyone with this.

This is where you and I are headed.... Look for us in history books and you'll find us in the margins. Look for us in legends and you might just find us celebrated

Only one way to win when you're being chased by someone bigger and tougher than you. Turn straight around, punch their teeth out, and hope the gods are fond of you.

There are only three people in life you can never fool--pawnbrokers, whores, and your mother. Since your mother's dead, I've taken her place. Hence, I'm bullshit-proof.

The only constant in the soul of man is inconstancy; anything and everything else can pass out of fashion-even something as utilitarian as a hill stuffed full of corpses.

We’re a different sort of thief here, Lamora. Deception and misdirection are our tools. We don’t believe in hard work when a false face and a good line of bullshit can do so much more.

The water caught the Falselight glimmer like layers of shifting, translucent mirrors and formed split-second works of art in the air, but men cursed it anyway, because it made their heads wet.

Maxilan, darling." Locke raised one eyebrow and smiled. "I knew you were driven, but I had no idea you could smoulder. Come, take me now! Jean won't mind; he'll avert his eyes like a gentleman.

Worst of all, the inner vault is guarded by a live dragon, attended by fifty naked women armed with poisoned spears, each of them sworn to die in Requin's service. All redheads. -You're just making that up, Jean.

I'll wager I would have screwed things up regardless. But. . .can you imagine those poor bastards grappling their prey, leaping over the rails, swords in hand, screaming, 'Your cats! Give us all your gods-damned cats!

Advice,' Doña Vorchenza chuckled. 'Advice. The years play a sort of alchemical trick, transmuting one's mutterings to a state of respectability. Give advice at forty and you're a nag. Give it at seventy and you're a sage.

When you see the crooked Warden," said Locke, twisting something in his hands, "tell hi that Lock Lamora learns slowly, but he learns well. And when you see my friends, you tell them that there are more of you on the way.

I think it’s fairly common for writers to be afflicted with two simultaneous yet contradictory delusions, the burning certainty that we’re unique geniuses, and the constant fear that we’re witless frauds who are speeding toward epic failure.

As for history, we are living in its ruins. And as for biographies, we are living with the consequences of all the decisions ever made in them. I tend not to read them for pleasure. It’s not unlike carefully scrutinizing the map when one has already reached the destination.

I'm speaking of the pursuit of excellence in all things. All things! Presence of mind and devotion to craft. A great artist has these. A great chef. A great master of tea. There's powerful kung fu in a well-built house or an eloquent letter, but the limit of your imagination is bones breaking and bullets flying.

Mew," the kitten retorted, locking gazes with him. It had the expression common to all kittens, that of a tyrant in the becoming. 'I was comfortable, and you dared to move,' those jade eyes said. 'For that you must die.' When it became apparent to the cat that its two or three pounds of mass were insufficient to break Locke's neck with one mighty snap, it put its paws on his shoulders and began sharing its drool-covered nose with his lips. He recoiled.

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