Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
I've always been busy, but I wasn't always successful.
My dog's name is Tucker, and his DNA is unidentifiable and suspect.
For me, the most indispensable tool for wrapping presents is a wife.
You can usually tell that a man is good if he has a dog who loves him.
Because failure isn't an option if success is just a matter of more effort.
When you adopt a dog, you have a lot of very good days and one very bad day.
I think I'm good at training dogs, but none of my dogs agree with me on that.
I see dog stories as an antidote to the dire news that nothing is ever going to get better.
I know it sounds strange, but I'm one of those people who goes to a coffee shop to drink coffee.
Dog’ is ‘God’ spelled backward; you know that. That’s why you’re here, to help the nuns do God’s work.
If I'm right, the only reason our species is still around is because of our friendship with the canines.
Dogs have important jobs, like barking when the doorbell rings, but cats have no function in a house whatsoever.
Kansas is a piece of real estate that completely disproves the theory of roundness as a quality of the planet earth.
That's the lesson of the dogs, that it's important to both live in the moment and then go on to the next wonderful thing.
I am an independent, strong-willed, free, and unfettered individual who lets his wife decide for him what he wants to eat.
There are apparently three factors that lead to longevity: heredity, habits, and what your wife will let you get away with.
My mother taught me to drive using the 'Detroit Method,' where speed limits and traffic lights are taken as cute suggestions.
I've read that an average dog possesses a vocabulary of 200-300 words, which is enough for him to have his own Twitter account.
Without a dog, you'll be without at least one creature who thinks you are the smartest, most decent and heroic human being on the planet.
The Internet has turned the world into one gigantic linked community, capable of instantly sharing vast amounts of incorrect information.
I've read that the ancient Chinese art of feng shui can bring a sense of peace, well-being, and positive energy to a home - same as beer.
I've tried several diets over the past couple of years - not because I need to lose weight, but because my pants are trying to cut me in two.
Without a dog, you'd never have anyone demonstrate how important it is to stop every day and smell the roses... and then lift your leg on them.
When you have a half slice of chocolate pie, it's as if you owe yourself the other half - what's known in medical circles as a 'caloric deficit.'
Parenting is difficult under any circumstances, and in my father's view, to raise a morally upright and honest child, you sometimes have to lie to him.
I am the sort of athlete who participates in a lot of winter sports - basketball, for example, is an activity that I'll spend many hours a week watching.
It's never easy to adapt a book, especially as the author, because it's as if you're chopping off appendages. It really feels painful to decide what has to go.
Apparently there are three levels of brain activity. Level 1 is the lowest level - the amount of concentration required to, say, delete emails or serve in congress.
Even if you've gone easy on the vermouth, there are still serious downsides to alcohol consumption, including but not limited to the sense that you're a good dancer.
Throughout the day, my phone will variously chirp, burp and growl - it's like living with a velociraptor. The last time I went to try to shut it off, the thing bit me.
A lot of people think I am the one to turn to for dog behavior issues. I'm not. All you have to do is meet Tucker; you'll know that I'm not an expert at training dogs.
Without a dog, no one will listen to your opinions for more than a few minutes without interrupting to tell you their opinions, which you won't find nearly as interesting.
Some people just don’t appreciate having a dog around. It’s sad to think there are people like that. I knew Gloria was that way—maybe that’s why she could never be truly happy.
Going to bed can cause imaginary conversations you should have had with certain people or real conversations with your brother who is calling from a bar in a different time zone.
I am a newspaper columnist and a professional screenwriter, but my real love is the novel for all the room it has for characters to come alive and breathe and face their challenges.
Communicating with teenage girls is easy unless you're an adult, and then it's like having someone take a pair of pliers and, one-by-one, yank off your fingernails through your ears.
My younger sister looks to me to provide her with advice on how to do her job better - though she's too shy to ask me questions, so I have to give her my opinion on an unsolicited basis.
Your neighbors will be envious of your 3D printer - and if they're not, just print new neighbors. Design them so they'll like to bring you pies, maybe, or want to do your yard work for you.
I want to know what good is a web search engine that returns 324,909,188 'matches' to my key word. That's like saying, "Good news, we've located the product you're looking for. It's on Earth.
In my opinion, it has never been proven that food even has calories. When I bite into a hamburger, I see pickle and ketchup and bun and meat, but if there's a calorie in there, it must be hidden.
My dog Tucker likes to walk late at night because it is a good way to keep me awake. Apparently, the one time I took him for a stroll around midnight represented, to him, a commitment similar to marriage.
Without a dog, I would have tassels on my throw pillows instead of little stubs of yarn that look like small worms. The pillows seem to function just fine without the tassels, so perhaps it isn't a problem.
My favorite ski slope is the kind that winds up at the cafeteria. My children, though, usually insist that I get out and take on a few expert runs, in a game called 'Let's See if We Can Get Our Inheritance Early.'
God invented love, and it is therefore perfect, and dogs are better at celebrating this perfection than we are. When in doubt as to how we should feel, we could do far worse than trying to live life like the dogs.
I started writing in fourth grade and never stopped. I faked my way through high school and nearly was flushed from college - I still can't pay attention - and then had a series of day jobs. But always, continuously, I have written.
The loneliest, most down-on-his-luck person can have a dog who adores him. The most bitter, sour person can light up with joy when he sees his dog. It is magical, and as 'The Dog Master' reveals, it is biological - we evolved together.
I read that all dogs have wolf DNA in them, which seemed preposterous because my dog, Tucker, is... afraid of plastic bags blowing in the wind. I thought, 'How can Tucker have wolf in him? How can this be?' So I started researching it.
My philosophy on snow skiing is that there are less expensive ways to fall down a mountain. Yet every couple of years, I go on a ski trip for the same reason that women will have multiple children - they simply forget how much it hurts.
My parents live in the part of the United States that is Canada. It is so far north that Minnesota lies in the same direction as Miami. They have four distinct seasons: Winter, More Winter, Still More Winter, and That One Day Of Summer.
During the holidays, I often see my sisters, who still, even after all these years, can't always seem to agree with me. They take silly, indefensible positions, such as denying that my parents loved me more because I was the better child.