“ What women want: To be loved, to be listened to, to be desired, to be respected, to be needed, to be trusted, and sometimes, just to be held. What men want: Tickets to the World Series. Dave Barry Author
“ Baloney is flattery laid on so thick it cannot be true, and blarney is flattery so thin we love it. Fulton J. Sheen Televangelist
“ Were it not for my little jokes, I could not bear the burdens of this office. Abraham Lincoln 16th U.S. President
“ When I fart my ass makes a trumpet sound that heralds the arrival of the smell. Adam Carolla Comedian
“ The essence of humor is that it should be unexpected, that it should embody an element of surprise, that it should startle us out of that reasonable gravity which, after all, must be our habitual frame of mind. Agnes Repplier Essayist