I do think it's smart to see a marriage as "a garden and a gardener who constantly swap roles." You really have to switch from one to another. Being the gardener would be the more active role in the situation. Being a garden would be more passive. You've got to be both the one who gets help and the one that's helping. That's the circulation in a couple. You should switch from one position to another. I think it's good to be always aware that love can fade. There's something I really like about that sentence. It's as if love should be seen as work...because it is.