“ Religion is like a pair of shoes.....Find one that fits for you, but don't make me wear your shoes. George Carlin Comedian
“ Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile. Billy Sunday Evangelist
“ From a commercial point of view, if Christmas did not exist it would be necessary to invent it. Katharine Whitehorn Journalist
“ People associate long hair with drug use. I wish people associated long hair with something other than drug use, like an extreme longing for cake. And then strangers would see a long haired guy and say, "That guy eats cake!" "He is on bundt cake!" Mothers saying to their daughters, "Don't bring the cake eater over here anymore. He smells like flour. Did you see how excited he got when he found out your birthday was fast approaching?" Mitch Hedberg Comedian
“ I received $100 per week when I started working at the Globe after graduation. Will Mcdonough Sportswriter
“ The problem with life is, by the time you can read women like a book, your library card has expired. Milton Berle Comedian