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We have, essentially, a worthless democracy.
Fluid and energetic and wild very, very smart and very, very funny.
I cannot be made into the commentator for the unspoken black masses.
I don't think the American government has a lot of respect for culture.
I wonder what it means when your grandson is more crotchety than you are.
The population has to be educated about how the government actually works.
Fame is not your friend. It ain't necessarily your enemy. It is what it is.
Late to bed and late to wake will keep you long on money and short on mistakes.
And I'm not so in love with making people mad that I want to live my life around it.
I want the news delivered unbiased. I thought that was the whole point with journalism.
We have to confront the very scary fact that the president is a moron. He's really dumb.
I'm actually kind of angriest about the fact that everybody keeps saying how angry I am.
It may sound weird, but I don't really look for culture, particularly in an American city.
One, I push my deadlines closer than anybody else, or let's say it this way: I'm really late.
I guess I was a conspiracy theorist when I said "no weapons in Iraq." Now they call that history.
Anyone with a gun can go out and commit an act of terrorism, even without a political affiliation.
I think you should know that real-life white people are not all as funny as the ones on 'Seinfeld'.
You know, every time a summer movie comes out, people think they're gonna get rich off of the merchandise.
When I pass, speak freely of my shortcomings and my flaws. Learn from them, for I'll have no ego to injure.
The American people have no control over what the military does. We have no say in American foreign policy.
Voting really doesn't mean anything. I wish I could say something different, but I think it's kind of a sham.
I don't want the news to be patriotic. I don't want to see flags on the lapels of the anchors. I don't want any of that.
In USA culture is just a matter of commerce. So, you know, I don't really look for that, and I don't expect to find it in any city.
Obviously, there's a million things we're allowed to say on late-night cable that you're not allowed to say on a prime time broadcast.
You can't accuse the creator of The Boondocks, ... Jesus was black, Ronald Reagan was the devil and the government is lying about 9/11.
When the news wants to tell you something is important, they put dramatic theme music behind it. They scare you into watching the story.
I really get a little bit confused by all this "angry angry angry" talk when all I do is tell jokes and at least some people find it funny.
But I know that in Toronto and Vancouver there are all the comforts of America, and yet there's a difference in the people, and I had health care.
We don't need a two-party system. We need something else. Because at this point, the two-party system is really just a one-party system. And that one party is crumbling.
You know, Democratic and Republican administrations alike have supported individuals and regimes that have slaughtered millions across the globe. And they need to be held accountable for that.
It's difficult to overcome what you're getting beamed into your brain by the television every day. The worthlessness of journalism today is just making the country confused and bewildered and lost.
I do the interviews and then I read about myself. I understand it and I get what it is. But there's so much stuff that I say, either jokingly or lightheartedly, that gets printed like I'm dead serious.
I think there's a lot of good and bad to L.A. One of the things you have to consider is that you can, if you're lucky, make a decent living here. That's a big plus. That's pretty positive. The weather is OK.
There's some new evidence that has just come out about the CIA planning terrorist attacks on U.S. soil in the '60s and how they were going to set up Castro for it in order to get America behind a war in Cuba.
Fidel Castro just talked a long time, and he talked and he talked and he talked and he talked... and he talked during the meeting. I think it was about four hours. But I guess that's part of the Castro spirit.
I think revolution is always a little bit possible. I think it won't look or sound anything like what we would expect. But I think revolution is very difficult, and I'm not optimistic for any kind of dramatic change.
I think you have to play the game on every level. If you need a friendly, charismatic, good-looking guy to be the mouthpiece, then so be it. And maybe Ralph Nader should just be behind the scenes telling that guy what to say.
I think, being a public figure - which, I have to admit, I guess I'm largely responsible for, in terms of going out and putting myself out there - comes with its own burdens, and its own things that cause you stress, and its own worries.
Good satire goes beyond the specific point it’s trying to make and teaches you how to think critically. Even after your favorite cartoonist retires or [Stephen] Colbert wraps it up, you’re not left believing everything they’re telling you.
That's not saying there's not a bunch of good Democrats. I'm sure there's a lot of people who still haven't figured that out yet or simply don't want to have that pessimistic of an outlook, but I think the Democratic Party is completely worthless.
I think the two-party system is a complete sham; I think it is designed so that the voters can feel like they have the satisfaction of "throwing those bums out of office" every four to eight years, but without the direction of the country ever significantly changing.
Look at this Judith Miller thing. Isn't that problematic? Like, she's getting fed information from the White House and she's feeding it to her editors and then it's in the Times and then the people at the White House can quote themselves? And it's the New York Times!
Whether the Republicans intentions are good or evil - I pretty much assume that they're evil - but no matter what, man, when the people in charge make giant mistakes, everyone suffers. Even if they do have good intentions, when you make giant mistakes, it's a bad thing.
At least when I was young, in high school: "Eh, voting doesn't mean nothing." You don't really know that to be true, you just say it. Then you get older, and responsible, and you go, "Oh heck, let me vote." And then you vote and you go away. I was actually right when I was 16.
I'm not crazy impressed with New York. I mean, I don't buy into that whole thing: Everyone in New York is all sophisticated, and they're into art and sophisticated things, and everyone in L.A. is just shallow entertainment people. I think people are just shallow across the board.
I don't know what the future holds. It seems to be going in a really bad, bad place really quickly, and I don't have the answers and I don't have the solutions and I don't know what's gonna happen to change it. But the continued apathy will only lead to a worse situation for everybody.
I just tell jokes, and I think a lot of people take it too seriously. It's not that I don't have things that I'm angry about in the world, and I think most decent human beings are upset about things, and even upset about things in their own country, but I'm not a particularly unhappy fellow.
I think the people should demand accountability on the voting. I think there's no point in voting if you're not gonna demand fairness and be able to verify each vote. And other countries can do this fairly easily. So I don't think you really want democracy if you're not willing to take that first step.
Meeting Fidel Castro was really cool. It's cool because it's Fidel, and it's a world leader, and there's so much history behind the man and who he is in this hemisphere. And then at the end of the day, he's, I think, just like a big mayor. There's only, like, 11 million people in Cuba. He's a big mayor.
Perhaps it's time to start examining countries that have made democracy work while still having some kind of the same relationship in covenant with their population. Perhaps we need to look at the Scandinavian countries, or Canada, or something else, but whatever we have now, I think we just have to acknowledge, ain't workin.