Quotes by Ben Elton - Page 1

You think I look like a teletubby?
Ben Elton / Stand-Up Comedian
Looks
Thinking
Copy Quote
My parents were secular. I am an atheist.
Ben Elton / Stand-Up Comedian
Atheist
Parent
Secular
Copy Quote
Artists don't create society, they reflect it
Ben Elton / Stand-Up Comedian
Copy Quote
I see dull people as projects ... to be reformed
Ben Elton / Stand-Up Comedian
Dull
People
Projects
Copy Quote
You didn't wake up, your dreams just changed gear.
Ben Elton / Stand-Up Comedian
Dream
Gears
Wake Up
Copy Quote
I think it is very difficult to legislate for morality.
Ben Elton / Stand-Up Comedian
Difficult
Morality
Thinking
Legislate
Copy Quote
Leaders should never, ever try to look cool - that's for dictators
Ben Elton / Stand-Up Comedian
Leader
Looks
Trying
Copy Quote
And roast beef and Yorkshire pudding is my personal signature dish.
Ben Elton / Stand-Up Comedian
Beef
Pudding
Roast Beef
Signatures
Yorkshire
Dish
Personal
Roast
Signature
Copy Quote
This calls for a very special blend of psychology and extreme violence.
Ben Elton / Stand-Up Comedian
Psychology
Special
Violence
Copy Quote
You're mugging old ladies every bit as much if you pinch their pension fund
Ben Elton / Stand-Up Comedian
Fund
Old Lady
Pension
Copy Quote
I don't consider myself Jewish. I am half-Jewish by race but not through my mother.
Ben Elton / Stand-Up Comedian
Half
Mother
Race
Jewish
Copy Quote
I exercise hard and the reason I do is so that I can earn the things I like to consume.
Ben Elton / Stand-Up Comedian
Exercise
Hard
Reason
Consume
Earn
Copy Quote
I'm easy to work with, not a pushover, but I respond to criticism and find it inspiring.
Ben Elton / Stand-Up Comedian
Inspiring
Criticism
Easy
Respond
Copy Quote
I think trying to be cool is the worst possible ambition - and I have never suffered from it.
Ben Elton / Stand-Up Comedian
Ambition
Thinking
Trying
Suffered
Copy Quote
The Germans are a cruel race. Their operas last for six hours and they have no word for fluffy.
Ben Elton / Stand-Up Comedian
Lasts
Opera
Race
Copy Quote
Books are the key. A book cannot be accessed from afar. You have to hold it, you have to read it.
Ben Elton / Stand-Up Comedian
Afar
Book
Keys
Copy Quote
Yes, OK, farty is a silly word. I wish I'd never used it. I'm 34. Perhaps it was a word for my 20s.
Ben Elton / Stand-Up Comedian
Silly
Stupid
Wish
Never Wish I Wish
Perhaps
Copy Quote
I try hard not to preach, but I get carried away, which is a mistake, but it's a risk worth running.
Ben Elton / Stand-Up Comedian
Running
Mistake
Risk
Carried
Preach
Copy Quote
Sympathy for victims is always counter-balanced by an equal and opposite feeling of resentment towards them.
Ben Elton / Stand-Up Comedian
Sympathy
Equal
Feelings
Opposites
Resentment
Opposite
Towards
Victims
Copy Quote
The worst thing about being a great power is when you're not one any more. It takes centuries to get over it.
Ben Elton / Stand-Up Comedian
Century
Over It
Worst
Copy Quote
Comedy will always be central to what I do, it's just an instinct for me, but I am a writer and always have been.
Ben Elton / Stand-Up Comedian
Comedy
Has Beens
Instinct
Always I Am Me
I Am Me Comedy
Central
Copy Quote
I'm lucky because the strongest emotion I have ever felt is being in love, and that definitely informs my writing.
Ben Elton / Stand-Up Comedian
Being In Love
Emotion
Lucky
Writing
Informs
Copy Quote
There are lots of things I could have done for the money, but I've made a great living doing the things I want to do.
Ben Elton / Stand-Up Comedian
Done
Made
Want
Copy Quote
I resent the creation of a world in which beauty is a reminder of what we're losing rather than a celebration of what we have.
Ben Elton / Stand-Up Comedian
Celebration
Losing
World
Copy Quote
The appropriation of radical thinking by lazy, self-obsessed hippies is a public relations disaster that could cost the earth.
Ben Elton / Stand-Up Comedian
Hippie
Self
Thinking
Copy Quote
I did not vote Labour because they've heard of Oasis and nobody is going to vote Tory because William Hague has got a baseball cap.
Ben Elton / Stand-Up Comedian
Baseball
Oasis
Vote
Copy Quote
I find the fact that billionaires are quoted as if the fact that they are billionaires gives them some kind of wisdom is outrageous.
Ben Elton / Stand-Up Comedian
Facts
Giving
Kind
Outrageous
Billionaires
Quoted
Copy Quote
People who get through life dependent on other people's possessions are always the first to lecture you on how little possessions count.
Ben Elton / Stand-Up Comedian
Dependent
Firsts
Littles
People
Life Always People
Count
Life People Always
Lecture
Possessions
Copy Quote
The earth only has so much bounty to offer and inventing ever larger and more notional prices for that bounty does not change its real value.
Ben Elton / Stand-Up Comedian
Bounty
Doe
Earth
Inventing
Real
Real Value
World
Larger
Offer
Prices
Value
Copy Quote
My advice to anyone adapting a novel is that once they've read it and learnt to understand it, then they must throw it away and never look at it again!
Ben Elton / Stand-Up Comedian
Adapting
Advice
Looks
Novel
Again
Read
Learnt
Throw
Copy Quote
If I did things for the money, I'd have done adverts in the 1980s, when I was hot enough to be offered them, and 'Police Academy 6,' which I was asked to write.
Ben Elton / Stand-Up Comedian
Academy
Hot
Police
Writing
Asked
Offered
Copy Quote
No collection of people who are all waiting for the same thing are capable of holding a natural conversation. Even if the thing they are waiting for is only a taxi.
Ben Elton / Stand-Up Comedian
Capable
Conversation
Natural
People
Taxi
Waiting
Collection
Same
Holding
Same Thing
Copy Quote
If only the strength of the love that people feel when it is reciprocated could be as intense and obsessive as the love we feel when it is not; then marriages would be truly made in heaven.
Ben Elton / Stand-Up Comedian
Love
Unrequited Love
Heaven
Intense
Memorable
Obsessive
People
Love Strength People
Marriages
Reciprocated
Truly
Copy Quote
I loved writing 'Two Brothers' more than anything else I have written. It's the first book I've written that I've always known I wanted to write. Having said that, it also kept me awake at nights.
Ben Elton / Stand-Up Comedian
Awake
Book
Brother
Writing
Always Me Anything
Anything Else
Brothers
Nights
Me Always Anything
More Than Anything
Copy Quote
We've all got to look at ourselves, start with yourself, that's all you can do. I believe that we can act responsibly as a group, it's just that there are vested interests telling us not to bother.
Ben Elton / Stand-Up Comedian
Believe
Bother
Groups
Looks
Vested Interests
Interests
Responsibly
Telling
Vested
Copy Quote
For the past seventeen years I have been experimenting with lager. I am a lager user and one drug leads to another. If you do lager, as night follows day, you'll end up doing Kentucky Fried Chicken.
Ben Elton / Stand-Up Comedian
Kentucky
Night
Past
Copy Quote
I don't know what people who I've never met think about me. Some have written horrible things, some have written nice things - but I'm proud of the fact I've remained close to everyone I've ever worked with.
Ben Elton / Stand-Up Comedian
Horrible
Horrible Things
Nice
Nice Things
People
Thinking
Me People Proud
Remained
Copy Quote
Kingsley watched her disappear from the room, wondering if his heart would break. Logic informed him that of course it would not. The heart was no more than a muscle, a pump which distributed blood about the body.
Ben Elton / Stand-Up Comedian
Men
Blood
Heart
Copy Quote
Any closer would unravel her mystery, the very thing which made her so truly beautiful...It was her mystery that he adored. He was in love with everything that he did not know about her... No real sexual encounter could ever match the secret one that he could nurture in his imagination... No living flesh could ever be the erotic equal of flesh kept private, untouchable and unknowable
Ben Elton / Stand-Up Comedian
Imagination
Beautiful
Real
Copy Quote
The internet was supposed to liberate knowledge, but in fact it buried it, first under a vast sewer of ignorance, laziness, bigotry, superstition and filth and then beneath the cloak of political surveillance. Now...cyberspace exists exclusively to promote commerce, gossip and pornography. And of course to hunt down sedition. Only paper is safe. Books are the key. A book cannot be accessed from afar, you have to hold it, you have to read it.
Ben Elton / Stand-Up Comedian
Book
Ignorance
Keys
Copy Quote
Beyond love, beyond unrequited love, perhaps even beyond any other passion known to humanity, deep, deep in the depths of the turgid, clinging, swamplike pit of despair that lies dormant within every soul, lurks JEALOUSY. Jealousy, that most demeaning and debilitating of emotions. Jealousy, which can double the strength of the love upon which it is based, but whilst doubling it, warp and pervert it, untill it is no longer recognizable as the thing of beauty it once was. Jealous love is no more like true love than Mr Hyde was like Dr Jekyll or a stagnant swamp is like a freshwater lake.
Ben Elton / Stand-Up Comedian
Jealous
Unrequited Love
Lying
Passion
Copy Quote

Top Authors

Paulo Coelho
Lyricist
Sunday, Aug 24, 1947
Isaac Newton
Physicist
Sunday, Jan 04, 1643
Monday, Mar 31, 1727
Henry David Thoreau
Author
Saturday, Jul 12, 1817
Tuesday, May 06, 1862
Dwight D. Eisenhower
34Th U.s. President
Tuesday, Oct 14, 1890
Friday, Mar 28, 1969
Kim Kardashian
Television Personality
Tuesday, Oct 21, 1980
Charles Spurgeon
Preacher
Thursday, Jun 19, 1834
Sunday, Jan 31, 1892
Julius Caesar
Roman Dictator
Thursday, Jan 01, 1970
Nelson Mandela
Former President Of South Africa
Thursday, Jul 18, 1918
Thursday, Dec 05, 2013
H. L. Mencken
Journalist
Sunday, Sep 12, 1880
Sunday, Jan 29, 1956
Samuel Taylor Coleridge
Poet
Wednesday, Oct 21, 1772
Friday, Jul 25, 1834
Steve Jobs
Entrepreneur
Thursday, Feb 24, 1955
Wednesday, Oct 05, 2011
Ernest Hemingway
Author
Friday, Jul 21, 1899
Sunday, Jul 02, 1961
Saint Augustine
Saint
Saturday, Nov 13, 0354
Wednesday, Aug 28, 0430
Carrie Fisher
Actress
Sunday, Oct 21, 1956
Tuesday, Dec 27, 2016
Leonardo Da Vinci
Painter
Thursday, Apr 15, 1452
Friday, May 02, 1519

View All Authors

Ben Elton Quotes - Page 1

App & Tools

Related Stand-Up Comedian Authors

Popular Topic Tags

Top Authors

Share This Page

Stay Connected

App & Tools

Related Stand-Up Comedian Authors

Popular Topic Tags

Top Authors

Share This Page