Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
I am a daylight atheist.
I wish I'd been a mixed infant.
No man can discover his own talents.
I am a drinker with writing problems.
I'm a drinker with a writing problem.
You made one mistake. You married me.
Most horror movies are certainly that.
It is a good deed to forget a poor joke
It is a good deed to forget a poor joke.
Every cripple has his own way of walking.
There's no bad publicity except an obituary.
The terrorist is the one with the small bomb.
Whatever you hold in contempt is your jailer.
I ruined my health drinking to other people's.
Pound notes are the best religion in the world.
There's no one, no one, loves you like yourself.
All publicity is good, except an obituary notice.
If you accept your limitations you go beyond them.
An author's first duty is to let down his country.
Ah, bless you, Sister, may all your sons be bishops.
That you, sister. May you be the mother of a bishop.
He was born an Englishman and remained one for years.
I say myself no depressed words just depressed minds.
The only thing I envy in young people is their livers.
One drink is to many for me and a thousand not enough.
One drink is too many for me and a thousand not enough.
If it was raining soup, the Irish would go out with forks.
Message? What the hell do you think I am, a bloody postman?
Scream at God if that's the only thing that will get results.
I'm a Communist by day and a Catholic as soon as it gets dark.
There is no such thing as bad publicity except your own obituary.
Every man, through fear, mugs his aspirations a dozen times a day.
I saw a notice that said "Drink Canada Dry" and I've just started.
A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him.
I never felt so much at home as I do in New York. I must be a devil.
No yesterdays are ever wasted for those who give themselves to today.
When two men fight over a woman it's the fight they want, not the woman.
I only take a drink on two occasions - when I'm thirsty and when I'm not.
Other people have a nationality. The Irish and the Jews have a psychosis.
Failure at a task may be the result of having tackled it at the wrong time.
What an author likes to write most is his signature on the back of a cheque.
I am married to Beatrice Salkeld, a painter. We have no children, except me.
I have never seen a situation so dismal that a policeman couldn't make it worse.
To get enough to eat was regarded as an achievement. To get drunk was a victory.
Nothing hurts more than the friendly letter that one never got around to writing.
If you greatly desire something, have the guts to stake everything on obtaining it.
Prostitutes, more than any other profession, help keep American marriages together.
I cannot imagine any crime worse than taking a life, can you? -It'd depend whose life.
Critics are like eunuchs; they can tell you what to do, but they can't do it themselves!
Inspirations never go in for long engagements; they demand immediate marriage to action.