Quotes by Chelsea Peretti - Page 1

Why are old maps always burnt?
Chelsea Peretti / Comedian
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I really want to interview Larry David.
Chelsea Peretti / Comedian
Larry
David
Interview
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Do you guys think its worse to wear a fedora or kill 15 people?
Chelsea Peretti / Comedian
Guy
People
Thinking
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I feel like women are frequently seen as guests in the comedy world.
Chelsea Peretti / Comedian
Comedy
Guests
World
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Sometimes when Im nervous, thats when the most interesting things happen.
Chelsea Peretti / Comedian
Interesting
Nervous
Sometimes
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Im Jewish and Italian, and I lucked out and got the nose of both cultures.
Chelsea Peretti / Comedian
Culture
Italian
Noses
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Sometimes when I'm nervous, that's when the most interesting things happen.
Chelsea Peretti / Comedian
Interesting Things
Nervous
Things Happen
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I'm Jewish and Italian, and I lucked out and got the nose of both cultures.
Chelsea Peretti / Comedian
Italian
Jewish
Cultures
Nose
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I would say that I have a love-hate relationship with almost everything in my life, including stand-up.
Chelsea Peretti / Comedian
Hate
Including
Love Hate
Love Hate Relationship
Almost Everything
Life Relationship My Life
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People see technology as something that will ruin society and culture, but I've always embraced technology.
Chelsea Peretti / Comedian
Embraced
Ruin
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I think that with podcasts, a lot of things are about fostering and having a direct connection with the community.
Chelsea Peretti / Comedian
Direct
Fostering
Connection
Direct Connection
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If you text 'I love you' and the person writes back an emoji - no matter what that emoji is, they don't love you back.
Chelsea Peretti / Comedian
Love
Relationship
Laughing
Writing
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On tour, its either call ex-boyfriends or tweet a lot. Youre just looking for any proof that youre not completely alone.
Chelsea Peretti / Comedian
Ex Boyfriend
Proof
Tweet
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On tour, it's either call ex-boyfriends or tweet a lot. You're just looking for any proof that you're not completely alone.
Chelsea Peretti / Comedian
Proof
Just Looking
Tour
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I barely watch TV. Somehow, I make it work with just the Internet. On TV, there's always so much crap, and you have to flip around.
Chelsea Peretti / Comedian
Crap
Flip
Barely
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My parents divorced when I was one year old so I don't really remember any of the details, but luckily my mom does so she's been really helpful.
Chelsea Peretti / Comedian
Mom
Parent
Years
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I'm obsessed with nature and living in the wild, which I just think is crazy. Imagine if a bear attacked you! That's an actual possible way you could die.
Chelsea Peretti / Comedian
Crazy
Imagine
Obsessed
Die
Living
Actual
Attacked
Bear
Wild
Possible
Could
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When I was little, people would ask what my favorite color was, and I never knew. I find it's really hard to make decisive 'best' answers on what the 'best' of something is.
Chelsea Peretti / Comedian
Best People Find
Best People Never
Decisive
Little People
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I only do private room karaoke where its just me and one of my closest girlfriends. My mom always said I could really belt songs out, and the Dixie Chicks feed that encouragement.
Chelsea Peretti / Comedian
Encouragement
Mom
Girlfriend
Song
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I only do private room karaoke where it's just me and one of my closest girlfriends. My mom always said I could really belt songs out, and the Dixie Chicks feed that encouragement.
Chelsea Peretti / Comedian
Encouragement
Chicks
Closest
Dixie
Mom Always Me
Mom Always Where
Belt
Feed
Mom Me Always
Girlfriends
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We went to a very small high school. It was, like, in a wooded house; it was a weird school. I hung out with a lot of guys in high school, and I did theater with a few of my close girlfriends.
Chelsea Peretti / Comedian
Hung
Girlfriends
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It's hard to bury your head in Los Angeles. People come up to you and say, 'Hey, I saw your picture on a bus.' It's tricky: You're excited by the possibilities, but you don't want to get too crazy.
Chelsea Peretti / Comedian
Hey
Los Angeles
Tricky
Your Crazy People
Angeles
Bury
Los
Possibilities
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Its really irritating. Even people who like my work sometimes come up to me and say, I usually dont like female comedians, but your material is great! It makes the job prospect more daunting. Funny is funny, you know?
Chelsea Peretti / Comedian
Jobs
Comedian
People
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So many people: Lucille Ball is the earliest incarnation of a woman I thought was funny, Joan Rivers, Roseanne, Carol Burnett, Gilda Radnor, down to current times, where you have Amy Poehler, Tina Fey, and Kristen Wiig.
Chelsea Peretti / Comedian
Funny
Amy
Fey
Incarnation
Rivers
Funny Where People
Ball
Burnett
Carol
Carol Burnett
Woman
Current
Earliest
Times
Joan
Lucille
So Many People
Tina Fey
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It's really irritating. Even people who like my work sometimes come up to me and say, 'I usually don't like female comedians, but your material is great!' It makes the job prospect more daunting. Funny is funny, you know?
Chelsea Peretti / Comedian
Irritating
Funny Work Great
Comedians
Daunting
Prospect
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I performed after 9/11 for relief workers down by Ground Zero. There were these men just coming back, and they were voraciously hungry. They were heroes, pulling rubble, and I was a new comic trying to go blue just so I could get some laughs.
Chelsea Peretti / Comedian
Zero
Blue
Comic
Ground Zero
Hungry
Relief
Rubble
Workers
Laughs
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Working on 'Parks' was like heaven because everyone there was just intimidatingly intelligent and funny, and we would have these hilarious debates about really tangential things. It was inspiring because I felt really challenged to be my best.
Chelsea Peretti / Comedian
Hilarious
Inspiring
Heaven
Intelligent
Parks
Challenged
Debates
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It's pretty satisfying to use an image when you don't have a great articulate response. And to be able to customize emoji? Imagine if you were a car enthusiast and you were able to create a car from scratch. That's what this is like for me. I'm an emoji enthusiast.
Chelsea Peretti / Comedian
Response
Satisfying
Enthusiast
Articulate
Scratch
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'Chels-emojis' are in the works. I use emojis heavily in life, and I think a lot of people do. There are a number that are frustratingly absent - you know how there's kind of a generic white man and a generic white woman? I just want to put a generic black man and a generic black woman.
Chelsea Peretti / Comedian
Absent
Generic
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When I was in New York, I got to see Joan Rivers do an hour of material, and it blew my mind. I don't remember how old she was at the time, but she just had this edgy hour that had so much funny stuff in it, and she was so fearless. If you only watch her on the red carpet, you don't get a sense of what a legendary standup comedian she is.
Chelsea Peretti / Comedian
Carpet
Comedian
Edgy
Funny Stuff
Legendary
Red Carpet
Rivers
Blew
Hour
Joan
Standup
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I do feel like guys feel pressure to be funny with me, which is kind of annoying. It's a turn-off if someone's trying hard to be funny because it feels like they're auditioning for a comedy job or something. It doesn't feel romantic to me. I get so much comedy from my life that, from a guy, I'm more looking for something sweet or romantic.
Chelsea Peretti / Comedian
Funny
Romantic
Annoying
Comedy
Feels
Guy
Hard
Pressure
Turn Off
Job
Looking
Auditioning
Guys
My Life
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I feel like women are frequently seen as guests in the comedy world - you know, a kid sister of the “real comedians”. I like the idea of positioning myself as legendary rather than trying to fit in. Now do I see myself like that every day? No, but I think it's a funny attitude and maybe on some weird, spiritual level, maybe it's a good attitude.
Chelsea Peretti / Comedian
Attitude
Real
Spiritual
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Chelsea Peretti Quotes - Page 1

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