Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
Why are old maps always burnt?
I really want to interview Larry David.
Do you guys think its worse to wear a fedora or kill 15 people?
I feel like women are frequently seen as guests in the comedy world.
Sometimes when Im nervous, thats when the most interesting things happen.
Im Jewish and Italian, and I lucked out and got the nose of both cultures.
Sometimes when I'm nervous, that's when the most interesting things happen.
I'm Jewish and Italian, and I lucked out and got the nose of both cultures.
I would say that I have a love-hate relationship with almost everything in my life, including stand-up.
People see technology as something that will ruin society and culture, but I've always embraced technology.
I think that with podcasts, a lot of things are about fostering and having a direct connection with the community.
If you text 'I love you' and the person writes back an emoji - no matter what that emoji is, they don't love you back.
On tour, its either call ex-boyfriends or tweet a lot. Youre just looking for any proof that youre not completely alone.
On tour, it's either call ex-boyfriends or tweet a lot. You're just looking for any proof that you're not completely alone.
I barely watch TV. Somehow, I make it work with just the Internet. On TV, there's always so much crap, and you have to flip around.
My parents divorced when I was one year old so I don't really remember any of the details, but luckily my mom does so she's been really helpful.
I'm obsessed with nature and living in the wild, which I just think is crazy. Imagine if a bear attacked you! That's an actual possible way you could die.
When I was little, people would ask what my favorite color was, and I never knew. I find it's really hard to make decisive 'best' answers on what the 'best' of something is.
I only do private room karaoke where its just me and one of my closest girlfriends. My mom always said I could really belt songs out, and the Dixie Chicks feed that encouragement.
I only do private room karaoke where it's just me and one of my closest girlfriends. My mom always said I could really belt songs out, and the Dixie Chicks feed that encouragement.
We went to a very small high school. It was, like, in a wooded house; it was a weird school. I hung out with a lot of guys in high school, and I did theater with a few of my close girlfriends.
It's hard to bury your head in Los Angeles. People come up to you and say, 'Hey, I saw your picture on a bus.' It's tricky: You're excited by the possibilities, but you don't want to get too crazy.
Its really irritating. Even people who like my work sometimes come up to me and say, I usually dont like female comedians, but your material is great! It makes the job prospect more daunting. Funny is funny, you know?
So many people: Lucille Ball is the earliest incarnation of a woman I thought was funny, Joan Rivers, Roseanne, Carol Burnett, Gilda Radnor, down to current times, where you have Amy Poehler, Tina Fey, and Kristen Wiig.
It's really irritating. Even people who like my work sometimes come up to me and say, 'I usually don't like female comedians, but your material is great!' It makes the job prospect more daunting. Funny is funny, you know?
I performed after 9/11 for relief workers down by Ground Zero. There were these men just coming back, and they were voraciously hungry. They were heroes, pulling rubble, and I was a new comic trying to go blue just so I could get some laughs.
Working on 'Parks' was like heaven because everyone there was just intimidatingly intelligent and funny, and we would have these hilarious debates about really tangential things. It was inspiring because I felt really challenged to be my best.
It's pretty satisfying to use an image when you don't have a great articulate response. And to be able to customize emoji? Imagine if you were a car enthusiast and you were able to create a car from scratch. That's what this is like for me. I'm an emoji enthusiast.
'Chels-emojis' are in the works. I use emojis heavily in life, and I think a lot of people do. There are a number that are frustratingly absent - you know how there's kind of a generic white man and a generic white woman? I just want to put a generic black man and a generic black woman.
When I was in New York, I got to see Joan Rivers do an hour of material, and it blew my mind. I don't remember how old she was at the time, but she just had this edgy hour that had so much funny stuff in it, and she was so fearless. If you only watch her on the red carpet, you don't get a sense of what a legendary standup comedian she is.
I do feel like guys feel pressure to be funny with me, which is kind of annoying. It's a turn-off if someone's trying hard to be funny because it feels like they're auditioning for a comedy job or something. It doesn't feel romantic to me. I get so much comedy from my life that, from a guy, I'm more looking for something sweet or romantic.
I feel like women are frequently seen as guests in the comedy world - you know, a kid sister of the “real comedians”. I like the idea of positioning myself as legendary rather than trying to fit in. Now do I see myself like that every day? No, but I think it's a funny attitude and maybe on some weird, spiritual level, maybe it's a good attitude.