Quotes by Jack Dee - Page 1

I spent the first 25 years of my life not knowing what I wanted to do.
Jack Dee / Comedian
Firsts
Knowing
Not Knowing
Years
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One of my friends went on a murder weekend, now he is doing life for it.
Jack Dee / Comedian
Murder
My Friends
Weekend
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Whenever you're in any acting role you are mortgaging your own character.
Jack Dee / Comedian
Acting
Character
Roles
Whenever
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I really hated fighting people and hurting them, but felt unable to stop.
Jack Dee / Comedian
Fighting
Hurt
People
Hurting
Unable
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I hate people who think it's clever to take drugs... like custom officers.
Jack Dee / Comedian
Clever
Hate
Officers
Thinking
Hate People Who
Custom
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The film industry is like Anne Robinsonalways on the look-out for a new face
Jack Dee / Comedian
Faces
Film
Looks
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They call it 'surfing' the net. It's not surfing. It's typing in your bedroom
Jack Dee / Comedian
Bedroom
Surfing
Typing
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In many ways, not fitting in has been a comedic asset and a comedic resource.
Jack Dee / Comedian
Assets
Comedic
Fitting
Way
Asset
Fitting In
Resource
Ways
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I really like rustic mediterranean cooking. And I like trying out curry takeaways.
Jack Dee / Comedian
Cooking
Curry
Rustic
Trying
Mediterranean
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Make lots of money. Enjoy the work. Operate within the law. Choose any two of three
Jack Dee / Comedian
Law
Three
Two
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I'm not really part of any group or clique or gang because that's always been my nature.
Jack Dee / Comedian
Clique
Gang
Groups
Part
Group
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I was so keen to become a comedian that actually doing the comedy itself almost came second.
Jack Dee / Comedian
Comedian
Comedy
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People who are pro smacking children say, 'It's the only language they understand.' You could apply that to tourists.
Jack Dee / Comedian
Funny
Children
People
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And people are intrigued if I really am as grumpy in real life. People feel a bit let down if I'm laughing or smiling.
Jack Dee / Comedian
Grumpy
Intrigued
Laughing
Let Down
People
Real
Real Life
Life People Feel
Smiling
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If I've inadvertently become some sort of role model for failed comedians, then it's really backfired very badly on me.
Jack Dee / Comedian
Comedian
Role Models
Roles
Badly
Comedians
Failed
Model
Inadvertently
Role Model
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I was on various anti-depressants, but not for long - I didn't function very well on them. I felt sort of flattened out.
Jack Dee / Comedian
Function
Long
Wells
Flattened
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Comedy and tragedy are two sides of the same coin. A talent in one area might also lead to a predisposition in the other.
Jack Dee / Comedian
Coins
Comedy
Might
Sides
Talent
Tragedy
Two
Two Sides
Also
Area
Same
Coin
Lead
One Area
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I love mixing with comedians when I'm working with them, but when I'm not I don't feel the need to hang around with them.
Jack Dee / Comedian
Comedian
Mixing
Needs
Comedians
Hang
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The rain forest has Sting. Now Siberia has Jack Dee. Someone had to draw the short straw. In this case it was the rain forest.
Jack Dee / Comedian
Forests
Rain
Siberia
Case
Draw
Short
Forest
Jack
Sting
Straw
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In particular, I found praying very disturbing, like swimming with bricks tied to your feet. And yet I was drawn to it constantly.
Jack Dee / Comedian
Bricks
Disturbing
Feet
Particular
Praying
Swimming
Tied
Constantly
Drawn
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Maybe I fear things going wrong so much that I pre-empt them by not getting excited about them when they appear to be. going well.
Jack Dee / Comedian
Excited
Wells
Appear
Maybe
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I don't like men who blow-dry their hair. If you are a man and you blow-dry your hair, then I don't like you and that's all there is to it.
Jack Dee / Comedian
Men
Blow
Hair
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I took religion much too seriously, however, and its overall effect was depressing. I would have really liked to discard it, but somehow I couldn't.
Jack Dee / Comedian
Religion
Depressing
Effects
Liked
Discard
Effect
However
Overall
Seriously
Somehow
Took
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My character, Rick Spleen, is a what-if version of me, really, where nothing did quite turn out right and everything else is still around the corner.
Jack Dee / Comedian
Character
Spleen
What If
Version
Character Me Nothing
Corner
Everything Else
Rick
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Depression is something that has always figured in my life but now I'm dealing with it. I wish I'd done this years ago because it's been really helpful.
Jack Dee / Comedian
Done
Wish
Years
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I think it is more a cautiousness that protects me from enthusiasm about things. I tend not to get excited. People perceive it as a scowl, which is fair enough.
Jack Dee / Comedian
Cautiousness
Enthusiasm
People
Perceive
Thinking
Enough Me People
Fair
Protects
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I'm just part of a tradition of people who aren't pleased. I would never think anyone else who has the same attitude was getting it from me. I'd just think they're... sensible.
Jack Dee / Comedian
Attitude
Sensible
Me People Never
Anyone Else
Attitude Me People
Pleased
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The jokes are great but what really matters for a comedian is his performance, his whole attitude, and the laughs that he gets between the jokes rather than on top of the jokes.
Jack Dee / Comedian
Attitude
Comedian
Laughing
Matters
Laughs
Performance
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One Saturday in 1984, I walked into my first AA meeting. I went regularly for six years and only stopped when I came to realize my underlying problem was not genuine alcoholism, but depression.
Jack Dee / Comedian
Depression
Firsts
Genuine
Saturday
Six
Years
Meeting
Regularly
Underlying
Walked
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Mmmm... the comedy that matters is the comedy you pull out of thin air. It's a bit like when something funny has happened and you try to explain it to someone else and end up saying, 'You had to be there'.
Jack Dee / Comedian
Air
Matter
Trying
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Mmmm... the comedy that matters is the comedy you pull out of thin air. It's a bit like when something funny has happened and you try to explain it to someone else and end up saying, 'You had to be there.'
Jack Dee / Comedian
Explain
Matters
Pull
Thin
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It's something that has informed quite a lot of my comedy - that idea of someone who is always trying to get in there with the right crowd, always trying to be a certain type of person and never managing it.
Jack Dee / Comedian
Certain
Comedy
Type
Always Never Person
Quite
Always Person Never
Informed
Quite A Lot
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But I like going to church. If you've been brought up in the Church of England, it feels like visiting an elderly relative. And I think it's important that part of the kids' education is knowing about the Bible.
Jack Dee / Comedian
Kids
Bible
Elderly
England
Relative
Thinking
Visiting
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There were a few teachers who just did not like me because of my face. Once, I was told to stand in the corner until I cheered up. The attitude was, 'Oh, for God's sake, what's the matter with him?' But it's just a natural expression.
Jack Dee / Comedian
Attitude
Sake
Teachers
Corner
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I don't think anyone's particularly conscious of thinking suits are the thing, but when you see a comedian on stage in jeans and a t-shirt it doesn't matter how good they are - it always looks like amateur hour when they walk onto the stage.
Jack Dee / Comedian
Comedian
Conscious
Jeans
Looks
Stage
Thinking
Good Thinking Always
Amateur
Anyone
Particularly
Walk
Hour
Onto
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I tried to be as thorough as I can, but there is a responsibility that we all have, especially with something like AA which is dependant on anonymity. Once you start banging on about it the whole time, you are potentially damaging the whole concept of it.
Jack Dee / Comedian
Anonymity
Banging
Thorough
Concept
Damaging
Potentially
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I had a longing for ritual, something I could cling to, a routine to make me feel well and contented. I hoped that reading Bible commentaries and theological critiques would nudge me closer to some kind of absolute that I could hold up as a torch to light my way.
Jack Dee / Comedian
Bible
Light
Longing
Reading
Ritual
Routine
Theological
Torches
Absolute
Cling
Closer
Contented
Hold
Hoped
Torch
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I have had issues with depression all my life, and it's probably true to say there was a tendency towards it even when I was very young, during my schooldays. There was often - and this is quite common with comics - a sense of not feeling as if I belonged anywhere.
Jack Dee / Comedian
Depression
Common
Feelings
Issues
Life My Life True
All My Life
Anywhere
Belonged
Comics
Towards
Tendency
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Possibly I am difficult to live with, but I don't bring my work home much. I'm either busy or not busy. And I don't work from home. I have an office here which has a white wall. No view. I did try working in a room with a view but it was too interesting. Too distracting.
Jack Dee / Comedian
Busy
Interesting
Office
Wall
Work Home I Am
Work Home Busy
Distracting
Room
Possibly
View
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In my local newspaper, they had this advert: 'please look after your neighbours in the cold weather'. I live next door to this 84-year-old woman, and do you know, not once has she come round to see if I'm all right. The lazy cow hasn't even taken her milk in for a fortnight.
Jack Dee / Comedian
Doors
Taken
Years
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The good thing about 'Have I Got News For You' is it's a compact show but it still gives everyone space to breathe, and everyone always gets a chance to say something if they want to. It's a very difficult show to dominate, and guests who come on and dominate always fall foul.
Jack Dee / Comedian
Breathe
Compact
Foul
Guests
Dominate
Good Thing
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The book is called 'Thanks for Nothing' and it's really the story of how I got into comedy and traces back every strand in my life that is relevant to that story. It's kind of an autobiography but isn't, as it stops about 25 years ago. It goes right up to the first time I do stand up.
Jack Dee / Comedian
Autobiography
First Time
Relevant
Thanks
Years Ago
Life Time My Life
Stand Up
Strand
Traces
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If I'm pushed, I'd also have to admit I don't like people with allergies. They just annoy me. There seems to be something far too self-centred about it. 'No thanks, I'm allergic.' Why not just say 'No thanks'? I wasn't asking for your medical history, I was just passing around the nuts. Trying to be friendly, that's all.
Jack Dee / Comedian
Medical
Allergic
Friendly
Nuts
Passing
Seems
Thanks
Why Not
History Your Me
Admit
Annoy
Pushed
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I tend not to trust people who live in very tidy houses. I know that on the surface there is nothing wrong with a person being well-ordered and disciplined. Nothing, except that it leaves the impression of that person having lived in the confines of a stark institution which, although he or she has long since left, remains within.
Jack Dee / Comedian
House
Impression
Long
People
Remains
Surface
Tidy
Confines
Disciplined
He Or She
Houses
Institution
Leaves
Stark
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Well, I don't ever get excited. I haven't been excited since I got a Chopper bicycle when I was about 12. Once you get older you realise there's always a catch to everything. So when I get, say, a commission to make a TV show, the catch is that you have to deliver something and then the sense of responsibility overwhelms the joy of the occasion.
Jack Dee / Comedian
Joy
Responsibility
Tv Shows
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Jack Dee Quotes - Page 1

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