God bless... God damn.

A wet dog is lovingest.

Reason is 6/7 of treason.

The unicorn is a mythical beast.

A woman's place is in the wrong.

The Old Man ain’t afraid of hell

I don't remember any blue poodles.

These are the days of bootleg love.

Dogs are obsessed with being happy.

Quick, name some towns in New Jersey

Discussion in America means dissent.

He who hesitates is sometimes saved.

Don't get it right, just get it written.

The most dangerous food is wedding cake.

Beautiful things don't ask for attention.

If you are a police dog, where's your badge?

It had only one fault. It was kind of lousy.

Americans want to go to heaven without dying.

Nowadays men lead lives of noisy desperation.

We all have faults, and mine is being wicked.

Love is what you've been through with somebody.

A burden in the bush is worth two on your hands.

Don't count your boobies until they are hatched.

Progress was all right. Only it went on too long.

A pinch of probability is worth a pound of perhaps.

Humor is emotional chaos remembered in tranquility.

There is no safety in numbers, or in anything else.

I myself have known some profoundly thoughtful dogs.

I love the idea of there being two sexes, don't you?

Looks can be deceiving; it's eating that's believing.

I hate women because they always know where things are.

You can fool too many of the people too much of the time.

Why do you have to be a nonconformist like everybody else?

He knows all about art, but he doesn't know what he likes.

Love is blind, but desire just doesn't give a good goddamn

Women deserve to have more than 12 years between 28 and 40.

A drawing is always dragged down to the level of its caption.

Let the meek inherit the earth -- they have it coming to them.

A word to the wise is not sufficient if it doesn't make sense.

She wasn't much to look at but she was something to think about.

Well, if I called the wrong number, why did you answer the phone?

Youcanfooltoomanyofthepeopletoomuchofthetime. See Lincoln 510:35.

There is no exception to the rule that every rule has an exception.

It is better to know some of the questions than all of the answers.

Men are more interesting than women, but women ae more fascinating.

Women are wiser than men because they know less and understand more.

One martini is all right. Two are too many, and three are not enough.

Two is company, four is a party, three is a crowd. One is a wanderer.

Early to rise and early to bed makes a man healthy, wealthy, and dead.

Laughter need not be cut out of anything, since it improves everything.

Share This Page