Oh, I'm terrible at travel.

It can be tough as a jobbing actor.

I've got my finger in a lot of pies.

Class still matters in Britain today.

I use very few muscles at the best of times.

There's a domino effect with certain things you say.

I've always been looking for other people's approval.

I had a massive amount of self-belief when I did stand-up.

Had I become a priest, the sermons would've been electric!

I've got too much respect for stand-ups to call myself one.

My name is Michael Pennington, and I am not a comic character.

I avoid any kind of organised trips as that's one of my bugbears.

I still give myself the right to be highly critical of others, though.

The idea of being on TV 24 hours a day and people seeing the real me... No.

I always say that the stand-up world is the arena of the unwell, and it is.

Up North you are holding your own. Everyone considers themselves a comedian.

With stand-up you've just got that one chance. Audiences can be quite fickle.

I found popularity through self-destruction, and that can be quite addictive.

You can't be a proper comic unless you've been out on stage and felt the fear.

I always feel like an interloper when I do serious drama. It's my own paranoia.

If you write, produce and direct, you own things and see them through to the end.

We all have days where we can't pronounce things or give it the emotion it deserves.

I've got little ankles and a bit of a belly, so it makes me look rather an egg on legs.

I hate flying, airports and the whole rigmarole - queuing up, security and lost luggage.

You don't want to be flattered and become big-headed by getting awards. But, well, I am.

It is easy for me to love myself, but for ladies to do it is another question altogether.

My work's never been accepted by my family, but it's something I'll always carry on with.

For the greater good, I thought I should be a spiritual leader for people for some reason.

I've spent lots of time in London, I studied in London, I like London. It's just not my home.

It's lovely being a parent and being in a strong marriage with somebody who is your best friend.

I'm getting positive feedback for my acting so we'll see if any other interesting parts come up.

This autocue was obviously written for someone else and I've been brought in at the last minute.

If an original piece of wardrobe came up from Star Wars, I'd probably spend a lot of money on it.

The cheese board is my big treat at Christmas that I have to deny myself during the rest of year.

Baldness is visually enough of a stigma as it is without a big sweaty bloke on stage pointing it out.

I am a big fan of smelly cheeses but the rest of the family don't seem to be particularly keen on them.

Comedy's so subjective, and if someone comes to watch, doesn't get it, doesn't find it funny, then fine.

There is something more spiritual to us than what we are on this earth, but how you access it I'm not sure.

You know, there's that temptation in interviews to make yourself sound - well, to give yourself a bit of mystery.

I used to attract a lot of feeders. I'd be quite happy to be locked in someone's flat and fed liquidised burgers.

My agent once said, 'You're not very driven.' And it's true. I'm not the type to ring up and go, 'Get me this part!'

I believe that Britain is becoming more class-conscious, and I quake at the very idea of Old Etonians ruling the world again.

Health-wise, I couldn't have said what my life expectancy would've been if I'd just carried on doing solid blocks of stand-up.

Never try to be witty with U.S. airport officials. It's always lost on them and you'll find yourself being put back on the plane.

I struggle as a writer, and I'm convinced that if I was at school now, I'd be termed as having ADS. Two minutes and I'm drifting.

I actually enjoy being heckled; it keeps it interesting, and I think it is a nice feeling for people once they have left the show.

You always hear people saying, 'I hope I'm not turning into my dad', but I'd be honoured if I became half as decent a bloke as he is.

I think if you're at the point where you're popular enough to sell your wedding photos to OK! Magazine then you don't need the money.

My forte is playing drunks down the ages. When my agent rings me about a role, I don't ask what the part is, but what century it's in.

'Johnny' was always a lone wolf when he got on stage. Him against the world, whereas suddenly, when I got into acting, people were relying on me.

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