It's a wise thing to hold back.

I think Australians like a bit of vulgarity

I think Australians like a bit of vulgarity.

I was lightweight - that was the whole point of me

I was lightweight - that was the whole point of me.

I am full of gratitude for my life - and for this house.

There is a single entendre, but I don't know about a triple one.

Rodents can come across as being quite vacant in the personality stakes

The English like eccentrics. They just don't like them living next door.

Rodents can come across as being quite vacant in the personality stakes.

I'm currently in an interesting correspondence with a nun about forgiveness

I didn't think of myself as a tart, but I wouldn't argue with anyone who did

I'm currently in an interesting correspondence with a nun about forgiveness.

I didn't think of myself as a tart, but I wouldn't argue with anyone who did.

The whole business of getting famous was good fun, but it was a long time ago.

I live in a kind of gay bubble. I live in a gay house, I drive a gay car. I eat gay food

I'm not sure how aware of the rest of the world I am. I live a rather sheltered existence

I live in a kind of gay bubble. I live in a gay house, I drive a gay car. I eat gay food.

It was all about wanting to get revenge. Pathetic, really, but it still is the motivation.

I'm not sure how aware of the rest of the world I am. I live a rather sheltered existence.

I've found a more personal, pagan kind of religion to satisfy the spiritual side of things.

I thought they were staring at me because I was gay. But it was because I was on the telly.

If I've been here a long time, I think: I must go to London and speak to someone or see a bus.

The bullying was hideous and relentless, and we turned it round by making ourselves celebrities.

I thought a dignified thing to do would be to live in the country by the time I'm 50 and write books

I thought a dignified thing to do would be to live in the country by the time I'm 50 and write books.

The public has always had affection for gay entertainers. The time was right for an out gay entertainer.

I get just as much of a thrill out of constructing a good sentence that gets a laugh at the end as I do from a joke

I get just as much of a thrill out of constructing a good sentence that gets a laugh at the end as I do from a joke.

However light-hearted you try to be about it, the loss of youth, and everything that goes with it, is quite a trauma.

I, as you may know, am no stranger to the organic courgette, but I still cannot work out who these gay footballers are.

The good thing about getting older is that, as you become less attractive, so you have less desire to go out and conquer everyone you see

The good thing about getting older is that, as you become less attractive, so you have less desire to go out and conquer everyone you see.

Just because someone's dead doesn't mean it's over. My grandfather died more than 25 years ago, but I still think of him a lot and smell his smell.

A lot of gay men have a lot of sex. That's what we do. But I've stopped all that-the revolving door into my bedroom. Promiscuity. That was of its day, really.

I knew that this was what I wanted to talk about on stage. There was no point being coy about it, or pretending that I wasn't gay. That was the substance of my whole act. If you took that away, there would be nothing left

I knew that this was what I wanted to talk about on stage. There was no point being coy about it, or pretending that I wasn't gay. That was the substance of my whole act. If you took that away, there would be nothing left.

My dresser and I have the hots for the new rugby ace Danny Cipriani. We have a shrine in my dressing room - press photos of him on the field looking swarthy and fit, and snaps of our boy emerging from Mayfair nightclubs, looking sexy and dishevelled.

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