I feel even less patience with transsexuals.

Depression is the most extreme form of vanity.

The secret is not to care what anyone thinks of you.

Shame, like beauty, is often in the eye of the beholder.

It's received wisdom that the English are uniquely child-unfriendly.

Presley sounded like Jayne Mansfield looked - blowsy and loud and low.

I don't have a spiritual bone in my body; but what I am, is religious.

Punk was over in two years. That was the only damn good thing about it.

If you want sex, have an affair. If you want a relationship, buy a dog.

Show me a frigid woman and, nine times out of ten, I'll show you a little man.

Show me a frigid women and, nine times out of ten, I'll show you a little man.

I wouldn't know how to fool a man any more. My deceiving days seem so long ago.

Gluttony and idleness are two of life's great joys, but they are not honourable.

Transsexualism is, basically, just another, more drastic twist on the male menopause.

There are exciting, intelligent, fat people - and exciting, intelligent, thin people.

But just think what a boring, bread-and-milk world this would be without the boastful.

People - and I include myself - get fat because they choose pleasure over self-denial.

A good part - and definitely the most fun part - of being a feminist is about frightening men.

I just have a real problem with people who seek to portray fatness or thinness as moral concepts.

It has been said that a pretty face is a passport. But it's not, it's a visa, and it runs out fast.

Whenever I am sent a new book on the lively arts, the first thing I do is look for myself in the index.

I've never been nostalgic, personally or politically - if the past was so great, how come it's history?

The latest twist on the pampering concept is spa parties, where a group of friends take over an entire spa.

Only those who haven't got the wit to speak for themselves would ever want their clothes to do it for them.

What sort of sap doesn't know by now that picture-perfect beauty is all done with smoke and mirrors anyway?

A wedding is a funeral which masquerades as a feast. And the greater the pageantry, the deeper the savagery.

When the sex war is won prostitutes should be shot as collaborators for their terrible betrayal of all women.

One Christmas build-up tradition, however, has totally bypassed me - that of going up to town and doing a show.

One Christmas build-up tradition, however, has totally bypassed me - that of going up to town and 'doing a show.'

Lots of women love to accuse men of being immature when the fellow in question displays a reluctance to 'commit.'

Hooliganism incarnate, a walking, talking, screaming, squawking metaphor for What's Wrong With Young People Today.

Sex, on the whole, was meant to be short, nasty and brutish. If what you want is cuddling, you should buy a puppy.

Lots of women love to accuse men of being immature when the fellow in question displays a reluctance to "commit"...

Covering up, so far as I can see, is often the accompaniment to far more truly shameful behaviour than stripping off.

It may be a cliché, but it's true - the build-up to Christmas is so much more pleasurable than the actual day itself.

Most women are wise to the fact that lots of men love a cat-fight, and thus go out of their way not to give them one.

Having 'best friends' is - at least for me - as outdated and small-minded a concept as the idea of 'Sunday best clothes.'

Surely being a Professional Beauty - let alone an ageing one - is one of the most insecure and doomed careers imaginable.

The Feminist Me says that a woman's right to her own body should be inviolate at all times, free from fear of peeping paps.

It's very hard to imagine the phrase 'consumer society' used so cheerfully, and interpreted so enthusiastically, in England.

It's very hard to imagine the phrase "consumer society" used so cheerfully, and interpreted so enthusiastically, in England.

Blakes Hotel in South Kensington was a particular favourite of mine during what I affectionately think of as my Restless Years.

Amsterdam has more than 150 canals and 1,250 bridges, but it never seems crowded, nor bent and bitter from fleecing the tourist.

People often yearn back to more innocent times, but more and more, as I get older, I find myself hankering after more jaded days.

Women, more often than not, do things which aren't remotely relaxing but are all about preening, which is just another sort of work.

I have always voted Labour and I always will. I have got to have one stupid, bovine part of me and that's the part that votes Labour.

When did women whose looks are not their living start conducting themselves like the simpering inmates of an Ottoman empire seraglio?

Some say that Cusk has no sense of humour, but expecting giggles from this writer would be akin to expecting sonnets from Benny Hill.

Fame is no sanctuary from the passing of youth... suicide is much easier and more acceptable in Hollywood than growing old gracefully.

I won't be going to any New Year's Eve parties because I think they're naff. No one over the age of 15 should bother going to parties.

Share This Page