Quotes by Koren Zailckas - Page 1

Like most women, I remember my first drink in tender minutiae.
Koren Zailckas / Writer
Drinking
Firsts
Remember
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I have been a ballerina, a cheerleader and a sorority girl. I was the girliest girl alive.
Koren Zailckas / Writer
Girl
Alive
Ballerina
Cheerleader
Sorority
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I think statistics go in one ear and out the other. All of us respond to stories more than numbers.
Koren Zailckas / Writer
Numbers
Statistics
Stories
Thinking
Respond
Ear
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Having a child doesn't make a woman a mother any more than owning a paintbrush makes her Frida Kahlo.
Koren Zailckas / Writer
Frida
Paintbrush
Owning
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I once heard someone say that the concept of moderation seems a little extreme, and tonight...I agree.
Koren Zailckas / Writer
Alcohol
Littles
Tonight
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It's no wonder the narcissistic mother will always have a place in literature: she's a freak of nature.
Koren Zailckas / Writer
Freak
No Wonder
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Since I've quit drinking, I'm not sure I've found the good life, but I've certainly uncovered a better one.
Koren Zailckas / Writer
Drinking
Good Life
Life Good Good Life
Life Good Better
Quit
Uncovered
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I do think anger is so difficult for women. Girls think it undermines their femininity; it's not very ladylike.
Koren Zailckas / Writer
Anger
Femininity
Ladylike
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I think for one, we have to really accept that anger is a normal human emotion that can be a positive force for change.
Koren Zailckas / Writer
Emotion
Normal
Thinking
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I think, for one, we have to really accept that anger is a normal human emotion that can be a positive force for change.
Koren Zailckas / Writer
Anger
Emotion
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But in college, we can wear our alcohol abuse as proudly as our university sweatshirts; the two concepts are virtually synonymous.
Koren Zailckas / Writer
Alcohol
College
Two
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My short stature may have something to do with my tendency to shout when enraged. How else is anyone going to hear me way down here?
Koren Zailckas / Writer
Stature
Enraged
Shout
Tendency
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America, ever the narcissistic mother, prefers baby bumps to children and expectant mothers to full-fledged bum-and-nose-wiping ones.
Koren Zailckas / Writer
Bumps
Mothers
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I’ve been thinking I’d like to be Daisy; I’d like to have someone like Gatsby stare at my house for whole years and never stop dreaming of me
Koren Zailckas / Writer
Dream
Thinking
Years
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I think when you're 14 years old, I think you're sort of looking for markers that prove you're an adult and you're independent of your parents.
Koren Zailckas / Writer
Independent
Markers
Prove
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When you are writing a memoir, you have the advantage of knowing how it all ends. It's just taking your life apart and putting it together again.
Koren Zailckas / Writer
Advantage
Memoir
Life Together Your
Apart
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I don't know where the idea originated that memoir writing is cathartic. For me, it's always felt like playing my own neurosurgeon, sans anesthesia.
Koren Zailckas / Writer
Anesthesia
Cathartic
Memoir
Always Where Me
Me Always Know
Originated
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Reading Poe was like a near-death experience, the kind that makes you feel fragile and free in its wake. I felt almost as though I'd scared myself alive.
Koren Zailckas / Writer
Poe
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Me? I'm just a literary girl gone wrong. Slow with the tongue. Quick with the pen. Undeniably cute. But, on the whole, ill-equipped for the privilege of living.
Koren Zailckas / Writer
Cute
Girl
Smile
Gone
Tongue
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If mothers are our first teachers, then having a narcissistic one teaches us that human closeness is terrifying, and the world is a heartless, inconsistent place.
Koren Zailckas / Writer
Closeness
Heartless
Inconsistent
Teachers
Mothers
Terrifying
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I would never make up a character who didn't exist or an event that didn't transpire. If you're a real writer, you have other tools in your toolbox to build drama.
Koren Zailckas / Writer
Tools
Event
Make Up
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For the first month of school, writing is its own upper. Pounding on my computer keys feels like playing the piano, like arranging words into harmony that sings back to me.
Koren Zailckas / Writer
Keys
School
Writing
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I can’t help thinking about memoir as a down-and-up process: Dive down for color; come up for context. Sink back down for action; climb back up for self-awareness and gratitude.
Koren Zailckas / Writer
Gratitude
Self
Thinking
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What makes a narcissistic mother so scary? Her absolute power and controlling influence. A narcissistic mother is your only 'friend,' at least until you're old enough to go to school.
Koren Zailckas / Writer
Absolute Power
Scary
Absolute
Controlling
Old Enough
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Why is Kris Jenner a powerhouse? Because some part of us confuses fame and infamy, too. If she really bothered us half as much as we claim she does, we'd look away and stop feeding her empire.
Koren Zailckas / Writer
Bothered
Feeding
Infamy
Claim
Confuses
Empire
Powerhouse
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As long as we depend on other women for self-esteem, using them as bad examples or fantasy versions - special, powerful - of ourselves, they remain stuck in a narcissistic version of themselves, too.
Koren Zailckas / Writer
Fantasy
Self Esteem
Stuck
Version
Depend
Examples
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My boyfriends have all been as stoical as queen's guards. They'd been patient, committed, and dispassionate, and I'd had to really debase myself to extract any emotion, either grin or grimace, from them.
Koren Zailckas / Writer
Queens
Emotion
Ex Boyfriend
My Boyfriend
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I grew up in a family that despised displays of strong emotion, rage in particular. We stewed. We sulked. When arguments did occur, they were full-scale conniptions, and we regarded them as family failings.
Koren Zailckas / Writer
Argument
Despised
Emotion
Strong
Failings
Occur
Regarded
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My demeanor isn't that of a woman enraged. To see me slumped, glassy-eyed, holding a sandwich someone has cut for me into four "manageable" pieces, a person might tell you I look much more like a woman subdued.
Koren Zailckas / Writer
Cutting
Looks
Sandwiches
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There's a limit to my patience with anything that smacks of metaphysics. I squirm at the mention of "mind expansion" or "warm healing energy." I don't like drum circles, public nudity or strangers touching my feet.
Koren Zailckas / Writer
Yoga
Circles
Healing
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Without a bottle to hold, I feel incomplete, the way Plato says we are each born only half a circle, and we spend out lives seeking out our other half. A drink is my beloved. Without it, I am wanting; I feel half finished.
Koren Zailckas / Writer
Bottles
Circles
Plato
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I am aware that somewhere along the line, I've subconsciously turned down the pitch of my speech, like a silencer of a gun that softens the sound of its firing. Now, even when I yell, I don't feel like I am using my full voice.
Koren Zailckas / Writer
Gun
Sound
Voice
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I think what I learned in research is that as Americans, we're very distrustful of anger. We're not sure if we should repress it. The idea that anger is supposed to be controlled is American, and we try to keep it out of our homes.
Koren Zailckas / Writer
Anger
Homes
Repress
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I dont know where the idea originated that memoir writing is cathartic. For me, its always felt like playing my own neurosurgeon, sans anesthesia. As a memoirist, you have to crack your head open and examine every uncomfortable thing in there.
Koren Zailckas / Writer
Cracks
Ideas
Writing
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But lately, when I’m drunk, I feel a hostility that I’ve never known before. It is a tension deep in my gut that makes me want to yell until my face is red, knock over glasses with the back of my hand, and kick people I don’t know in the shins.
Koren Zailckas / Writer
Glasses
Hands
People
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I don't know where the idea originated that memoir writing is cathartic. For me, it's always felt like playing my own neurosurgeon, sans anesthesia. As a memoirist, you have to crack your head open and examine every uncomfortable thing in there.
Koren Zailckas / Writer
Anesthesia
Cathartic
Felt
Memoir
My Own
Uncomfortable
Writing
Always Your Me
Open
Idea
Crack
Examine
Me Your Always
Me Always Your
Head
Me Uncomfortable Always
Originated
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My parents always swore that in my childhood they had to let me win at board games. If, by the lucky stroke of the plastic wheel, my father would accidentally beat me at Candy Land, I would fly into fits of bawling that I'm told would last for hours. If I couldn't triumph, I didn't want to play.
Koren Zailckas / Writer
Candy
Plastic
Triumph
Accidentally
Board
Fits
Stroke
Swore
Wheel
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We are taught to believe it's bad to be angry, or at least it's not good. That's not the case all throughout the world. People are more open and not embarrassed about it. For instance in Paris, people believe Americans have a really unhealthy relation with anger. They think it's essential to get angry.
Koren Zailckas / Writer
Anger
Angry
Embarrassed
Instance
Relation
Unhealthy
Good Believe World
Essential
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I grew up in a family that despised displays of strong emotion, rage in particular. We stewed. We sulked. When arguments did occur, they were full-scale conniptions, and we regarded them as family failings. Afterward, we withdrew from one another and tried our best to strike the event from our memories.
Koren Zailckas / Writer
Despised
Emotion
Memories
Afterwards
Event
Failings
Occur
Regarded
Strike
Withdrew
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I'd written Smashed not because I was ambitious and not because writing down my feelings was cathartic (it felt more like playing one's own neurosurgeon sans anesthesia). No. I'd made a habit--and eventually a profession--of memoir because I hail from one of those families where shows of emotions are discouraged.
Koren Zailckas / Writer
Ambitious
Feelings
Writing
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In my early to mid-20s, a fear of confrontation made it difficult for me to end relationships in a mature or even quasi-sane way. Instead, I would hang on resentfully, praying that my doomed beau would end things first and spare me the displeasure. To add hindrance to hang-up, the men I chose were usually just as stoic as I was.
Koren Zailckas / Writer
Add
Confrontation
Displeasure
Doomed
Hindrance
Mature
Praying
Stoic
Beau
Chose
Hang
Spare
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I'm sick of the ignorance that lack of funding has generated, of the fathers who apporach me at dinner parties with their four-year-old girls clasped to their pant legs and say, "Yeah, but studies say kids can buy drugs more easily than they can buy alcohol." To which I always respond, "I guess that means you keep heroin in your liquor cabinet?
Koren Zailckas / Writer
Girl
Kids
Father
Party
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