Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
One of my favorite comedies is 'Shaun of the Dead.'
Being a fish out of water is tough, but that's how you evolve.
Stand-up is successful if they laugh. It's unsuccessful if they don't laugh.
On stage I just have to be myself. In acting you have to be so many other people.
You can go slow. Allow your dreams and goals to change, but live an intentional life.
I stay home. It's the best place to be alone. There is hardly any walk-through traffic.
Nobody really knows what they're doing. Some are just better at pretending like they do.
I'm a massive rom-com head! Like, every rom-com in the '90s and early 2000s, I've watched.
It wasn't until I moved to New York that I decided to make a conscious effort to be myself.
Most of my exposure to American pop culture was through this weird prism of 'Mad' magazine.
Just because you saw a vampire doesn't mean that a snowman or a Loch Ness Monster also exists.
Living in Pakistan, you didn't have a sense of how huge and varied America was, geographically.
If you do a sketch, that's a very short narrative. Stand-up, it's bit-to-bit, minute-long narratives.
I think being funny had something to do with feeling like an outsider, not feeling cool - insecurity.
I love, love, love the street-cart food. Gyros are like a meat-flavored fruit roll-up. A meat roll-up.
I was extremely shy and had a terrible fear of public speaking. But I had fallen in love with stand-up.
I moved to New York first and was really apprehensive about moving to L.A., but I really, really like it.
I'll tell you, nobody was more excited than me, in the entire world, that there is a 'Silicon Valley' Funko set.
It happens to people. People ruin things they love! I'm sure the guy who played Jar Jar Binks loved 'Star Wars.'
Wikipedia is kind of weird. I feel it's lame to put up my own page, but I desperately want someone else to do it.
When I started working on 'Michael And Michael,' it was my life for three to four months, and then suddenly it's gone.
A lot of times, it seems like social media has devolved into people just yelling at each other and not really conversing.
I started doing standup because of Hugh Grant's best-man speech in 'Four Weddings,' which is basically a standup routine.
I would say I try to make my comedy really personal. I try to tell stories that happened to me, experiences from my life.
Im from a family of doctors, and I think they really wanted me to be a doctor. I even sort of assumed I would be a doctor.
I'm from a family of doctors, and I think they really wanted me to be a doctor. I even sort of assumed I would be a doctor.
I approximated the Black Friday experience at home by hurling myself into a wall a number of times and then ordering online.
I think, you know, a lot of the business of comedy is taking your personal experiences and making them relatable to other people.
I have a reward-and-punishment system: If I have done this much work, then I can play video games this long. It gives my day structure.
I thought, from watching TV and stuff, that America was one place. They only show you L.A. and New York. They don't warn you about Iowa.
I was not a cool kid. There was no reason for me to be marginalised. I was just a nerd. I was kind of weird, and I found solace in video games.
I am a very nerdy guy. I understand that it's easier to cast me as a nerdy guy than an action star - although I would love to be an action star!
My favorite writer on 'The X-Files' is this guy Darin Morgan. He wrote my favorite episode and the top five favorite episodes that everyone loves.
I thought of America as this crazy, happy, exciting place where everybody's rich and there's stuff everywhere. Compared to Pakistan, it's not untrue.
I never really got into game shows. The easiest one is Wheel Of Fortune because you just have to know words, and for the most part everyone knows words.
I've always played some version of a nerdy guy or something like that. I mean, one of my story lines on 'Silicon Valley' is that I am very bad with women!
I never really got into game shows. The easiest one is 'Wheel Of Fortune' because you just have to know words, and for the most part everyone knows words.
I love constructive criticism. I love getting notes when I'm acting. I love them telling me what to do. I don't always agree with it, but I really need it.
The whole religion of Islam is based on reward and punishment and reward and punishment, and it becomes a part of how you think of everything. Even yourself.
I used to like to come up with inventions because I hated working so much when I had my day job. I thought, 'All I need is a great idea, and I'm out of here.'
It's not like I listened to music and then stopped. I still don't have a real appreciation for music because I didn't really start listening to it until my 20s.
I never decided I wanted to be an actor. I just started doing standup because I love standup. Everything else has sort of been these tiny steps leading to this.
My parents aren't the demographic for a lot of things I do. If I did a stand-up show, and I saw 62-year-old Pakistanis in the crowd, I'd be like, 'I'm gonna bomb.'
I didn't know if I could be funny on stage or write a joke. But I saw that there are no rules. If you're funny offstage, you can figure out a way to be funny onstage.
Honestly, I would love to be friends with Fox Mulder on 'The X-Files.' That's almost a little too obvious, but that would be my answer. I'd love to hang out with him.
The worst job I ever had was an office job that I had for six years, and that's nothing against the people who I was surrounded by, because they were wonderful people.
I was actually looking at the poster for 'Tarzan,' and I was thinking how abs look so different now. These are not your grandma's abs. They go so deep and so sharp now.
I know what is funny coming out of my mouth and what is not funny coming out of my mouth. You have to figure out, What is the joke that I can do that nobody else can do?
The plan was always to come to America, because Pakistan's a scary place. They don't have religious freedom. It's very poor, and there's a lot of violence and corruption.
Populate your life with people different from you. Once you leave school, you get to choose the kinds of people you're going to be around rather than forced to be around them.