Quotes by Kumail Nanjiani - Page 2

I loved the Oscars, and I had V.H.S. tapes for the Oscars, and I used to watch them over and over. There was probably one year where I watched it, like, 20 times or something.
Kumail Nanjiani / Stand-Up Comedian
Oscars
Tapes
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There was one week where I got mistaken for Hasan Minhaj, who is on 'The Daily Show;' Kunal Nayyar, who's on 'Big Bang Theory;' and Karan Soni of 'Ghostbusters.' This was one week.
Kumail Nanjiani / Stand-Up Comedian
Daily Show
Mistaken
Theory
Week
Bang
Big Bang
Daily
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TV requires a lot more patience. No one's ever like, 'I gotta get up at 5 A.M. and write my stand-up!' It's an easy life. With 'Silicon Valley,' it's long hours and very unglamorous.
Kumail Nanjiani / Stand-Up Comedian
Long Hours
Silicon
Silicon Valley
Gotta
Valley
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Think about when you were 12 or 13. The stuff I watched was awful! I tried to watch a 'He-Man' cartoon recently, and I was like, 'Oh my God!' I just had, like, a small brain. I was stupid.
Kumail Nanjiani / Stand-Up Comedian
Cartoon
Oh My God
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We only hear success stories. You don't hear about the hundreds and hundreds - the overwhelming majority that don't go anywhere. This is a more realistic portrayal of what happens in startups.
Kumail Nanjiani / Stand-Up Comedian
Majority
Realistic
Stories
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I started a podcast about 'X-Files' and ended up on it. Then I started a podcast about video games, and I'm in the new 'Mass Effect' game. I have to pick the stuff I love and do a podcast on it.
Kumail Nanjiani / Stand-Up Comedian
Mass
Video Games
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Studio execs were like, ''Lord of the Rings!' People want to see sword-and-dragon-type things!' No, people just want to see great stories. Hollywood always takes the wrong lesson from successes.
Kumail Nanjiani / Stand-Up Comedian
Rings
Great People Always
Great Stories
Lesson
Lord Of The Rings
Successes
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I grew up watching 'Ghostbusters' and 'Knight Rider' and Hot Wheels commercials. When I got to college, having never set foot in America, I knew more American pop-culture references than my friends did.
Kumail Nanjiani / Stand-Up Comedian
Wheels
Commercials
Foot
References
Rider
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Rom-coms have been one of my favorite genres of movies since I can remember. My favorite movie of all-time is 'Four Weddings and a Funeral,' and then 'When Harry Met Sally,' and 'Annie Hall' is top five.
Kumail Nanjiani / Stand-Up Comedian
All Time
Annie
Funeral
Favorite Movie
Genres
Hall
Harry
Sally
Weddings
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I don't go, 'It is now time to change Americans' perception of Muslims. It's going to be a long day.' I think you just try to be unique and try to be yourself, and if something good comes of that, then great.
Kumail Nanjiani / Stand-Up Comedian
Long Day
Perception
Time Change Good
Be Yourself
Change Time Good
Muslims
Something Good
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I want to be so famous that I'm the pop-culture reference that people would make to try and be racist to me. So I'd be walking down the street, and someone would be, like, 'Hey, look at this Kumail Nanjiani.'
Kumail Nanjiani / Stand-Up Comedian
Hey
Reference
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I've found that the common humanity of people is the most relatable thing, and even if your stories are very specific about a different place, if you have a relatable core of humanity, people will go along with it.
Kumail Nanjiani / Stand-Up Comedian
Different Place
Specific
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I was on this path to becoming a computer-science guy, but I didn't like it. I got no joy from it. It was very, very scary. It was suffocating to think that I was just going to do this thing for the rest of my life.
Kumail Nanjiani / Stand-Up Comedian
Guy
Joy
Thinking
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You really need to have that discipline. It's not even discipline. I just put down these rules. It's not like a vague, 'Motivate yourself!' and do something. Its specific hours set aside every day for certain things.
Kumail Nanjiani / Stand-Up Comedian
Discipline
Hours
Needs
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You really need to have that discipline. It's not even discipline. I just put down these rules. It's not like a vague, 'Motivate yourself!' and do something. It's specific hours set aside every day for certain things.
Kumail Nanjiani / Stand-Up Comedian
Discipline
Vague
Aside
Certain Things
Motivate
Specific
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I still don't have a real appreciation for music because I didn't really start listening to it until my 20s. My wife knows everything about music, and I try and get her to educate me, but it's just not part of my DNA.
Kumail Nanjiani / Stand-Up Comedian
Appreciation
Dna
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I'd love to be in action movies. I've been trying to convince people. I don't think it's anything physical holding me back. I think it's a general vibe thing that's holding me back. I don't project action confidence, maybe.
Kumail Nanjiani / Stand-Up Comedian
Convince
Love Movies Me
Action Movies
Holding
Vibe
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Because of the Internet, you're sort of forced to deal with people from very different backgrounds and beliefs. It's a great challenge of our time, and depending on when you ask me, I feel optimistic or pessimistic about it.
Kumail Nanjiani / Stand-Up Comedian
Optimistic
Backgrounds
Different Backgrounds
Our Time
Pessimistic
Time Great Me
Beliefs
Depending
Forced
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'Four Weddings and a Funeral' is one of my favorite movies, and I laugh all the time, and I cry during the one funeral. But I'll say that 'Monsters, Inc.' is a movie that really gets me super-emotional. Especially the ending.
Kumail Nanjiani / Stand-Up Comedian
Funeral
Monsters
Time Movies Me
Ending
Favorite Movies
Weddings
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You just don't see Muslims being matter-of-fact Muslim. They're always defined by their Muslim-ness. We're either terrorists, or we're fighting terrorists. I remember seeing 'True Lies' and going, 'Why are we always the bad guys?'
Kumail Nanjiani / Stand-Up Comedian
Bad Guys
Defined
True Lies
Muslims
Terrorists
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I always felt that it was never the duty of a person to really stand up for their gender or their race or anything like that - I always felt that was a personal choice. But I do feel now that maybe my opinion is evolving or changing a little bit.
Kumail Nanjiani / Stand-Up Comedian
Gender
Personal Choice
Evolving
Stand Up
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I don't want to generalize, but the target audience for a lot of the YouTube people is fairly young - under the age of 16. You still want to know what those people are watching, because I think it's interesting, but sometimes it just makes you feel old.
Kumail Nanjiani / Stand-Up Comedian
Target
Youtube
Fairly
Generalize
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You can get stuck in the trap of reading your YouTube comments all the time. Sometimes I regret it. Not everyone is going to love you. And for some reason, stand-up has this thing where everyone thinks they can do it. So everyone thinks they're an expert.
Kumail Nanjiani / Stand-Up Comedian
Love You
Reading
Reason
Regret
Stuck
Youtube
Comments
Expert
Thinks
To Love
Trap
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Philosophy is problem-solving. There's a philosophical problem, and then you try to solve it by approaching it from different angles and seeing what way works. That's what comedy is: you have a topic and you try to just hit it as many different ways as you can.
Kumail Nanjiani / Stand-Up Comedian
Philosophical
Philosophy
Trying
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It really helped to have someone whose taste I really trusted who I knew was really smart and a really good writer. Sometimes I find it hard to judge my own work so it was good to have someone who could look at it. It was like, "Oh, she likes it, then it's good."
Kumail Nanjiani / Stand-Up Comedian
Judging
Smart
Sometimes
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My stories take three or four months to fix, and it's not magical of a process. Ultimately it's a boring, difficult process. I write everything out, and then the parts I think are funny I put in bold. Then I go perform it. Then the parts that aren't funny, I unbold them.
Kumail Nanjiani / Stand-Up Comedian
Thinking
Three
Writing
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In popular culture, there isn't any other conception of Islam and Muslims other than what you see on the news... When you go to a theme park, you see Muslims riding roller coasters and eating ice cream. Why doesn't anybody think of those Muslims when they think of Muslims?
Kumail Nanjiani / Stand-Up Comedian
Conception
Cream
Eating
Ice
Ice Cream
Islam
News
Popular Culture
Riding
Theme
Muslims
Popular
Park
Roller
Theme Park
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The world is getting smaller. And people are bumping up against people from different parts of the world with very different points of view. The challenge of our time is going to be, how do you allow other points of view to exist within what you traditionally see as your world?
Kumail Nanjiani / Stand-Up Comedian
Our Time
Within
Time World People
Against
Time World Your
Time World View
Allow
Challenge
Exist
Different Parts
Getting
Parts
Points
Smaller
View
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A lot of people say video games can be stifling. Older people say, 'We had to go outside, and we had to make up stories!' For me, video games broadened my horizons. Playing 'Golden Axe,' I was those characters. I imagined myself being in that world, so honestly, it was a really good thing.
Kumail Nanjiani / Stand-Up Comedian
Games
Golden
Honestly
Older People
Stifling
Video
Good Myself World
Axe
Broadened
Make Up
People Say
Video Games
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Most people don't really do too many things because they're afraid they'll fail. There are people failing all the time, all around you. And nobody is going to notice your failure. Your failure is not going to be so spectacular that people write news stories about it. Your failure will be boring.
Kumail Nanjiani / Stand-Up Comedian
Failing
Spectacular
Notice
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I remember my jaw would hurt because I wasn't used to speaking English all the time. Like how, even if you exercise, you'll play kickball one day, and then you're like, 'Wait, I run, but new places are hurting because I don't use my muscles this way.' My mouth was not used to making these sounds.
Kumail Nanjiani / Stand-Up Comedian
Exercise
Hurt
Muscles
New Places
One Day
Time Day Remember
Time Exercise Day
English
Run
Wait
Hurting
Jaw
Mouth
Places
Sounds
Speaking
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When generally people make race-based jokes to me - even if they're not technically racist, they're sort of based on me being Pakistani or whatever - on Twitter, you know, I block a lot of people who say something weird about my name or something. It does bug me generally, but it is all about context.
Kumail Nanjiani / Stand-Up Comedian
Block
Me Weird People
Bug
Context
Technically
Pakistani
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My mom told us never to reveal that we were Shia in school. You would find out that some other kid was Shiite, and you would whisper, 'Hey,' or you would see someone at the mosque, and you'd be like, 'Hey, that kid's Shiite!' There was a lot of tension, a lot of violence in Karachi between Shiites and Sunnis.
Kumail Nanjiani / Stand-Up Comedian
Hey
Tension
Violence
Mosque
Reveal
Whisper
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I know a lot of brown actors who play terrorists because they're physically intimidating. For me, it was like, 'O.K., you'll be the nerd.' So I've played the nerd. I've played food-delivery guys. But I always tried to find something in the characters so that they weren't just defined by what they looked like.
Kumail Nanjiani / Stand-Up Comedian
Defined
Intimidating
Always Me Know
Me Always Find
Terrorists
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Living in Pakistan, you didn't have a sense of how huge and varied America was geographically. I had visited once. I thought of it as this crazy, happy, exciting place where everybody's rich, and there's stuff everywhere. Compared to Pakistan, it's not untrue. Compared to Pakistan, the streets are paved with gold.
Kumail Nanjiani / Stand-Up Comedian
Gold
Pakistan
Streets
Untrue
Paved
Varied
Visited
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I had this very strict rule when I began auditioning that I wasn't gonna do a thicker accent, because it was like, 'I can't tell if it's supposed to be funny because he talks funny.' And now I feel like there are certain characters that I could play that could involve doing a thicker accent, as long as it's specific to that character.
Kumail Nanjiani / Stand-Up Comedian
Strict
Accent
Auditioning
Involve
Talks
Thicker
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When I was studying comedy in Chicago, it wasn't long after 9/11. There were a lot Middle Eastern comedians who were doing bits about hailing cabs and being terrorists. So the first two years, I didn't do any of that because I wanted to separate myself from those guys. But race is a big part of who I am, and it should be a big part of my comedy.
Kumail Nanjiani / Stand-Up Comedian
Bits
Chicago
Eastern
Myself I Am Long
Big Part
Myself Long I Am
Comedians
Middle Eastern
Studying
Terrorists
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Kumail Nanjiani Quotes - Page 2

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