Programmers can be lazy.

Information wants to be useful.

The autodecrement is not magical.

Portability should be the default.

It's hard to tune heavily tuned code.

Accidental stacks considered harmful.

A good messenger expects to get shot.

Just don't create a file called '-rf.'

Laziness is a programmers main virtue.

Even the White House has a press agent.

Call me bored, but don't call me boring.

Don't wear rollerskates to a tug-of-war.

Reserve your abuse for your true friends.

Save it for my unauthorized autobiography.

Perl programming is an *empirical* science!

I don't believe I've ever cuddled my elses.

I'm a great believer in visual distinctions.

Well, I think Perl should run faster than C.

For me, writing is a love-hate relationship.

Hubris itself will not let you be an artist.

Symmetry is overrated. Overrated is symmetry.

Odd that we think definitions are definitive.

Are you perchance running on a 64-bit machine?

People get annoyed when you try to debug them.

It's there as a sop to former Ada programmers.

At many levels, Perl is a 'diagonal' language.

Almost nothing in Perl serves a single purpose.

Though I'll admit readability suffers slightly.

To Perl , or not to Perl, that is the kvetching.

Perhaps I'm missing the gene for making enemies.

It is easier to port a shell than a shell script.

I think I'll side with the pissheads on this one.

Besides, REAL computers have a rename system call.

When's the last time you used duct tape on a duct?

I think I'm likely to be certified before Perl is.

I am not a sort of person who wants to run a company.

Perl has a long tradition of working around compilers.

It's easy to solve the halting problem with a shotgun.

Let us be charitable, and call it a misleading feature.

If you and I always agree, then one of us is redundant.

Obviously I was either onto something, or on something.

It should be illegal to yell 'Y2K' in a crowded economy.

Let's say the docs present a simplified view of reality.

And I don't like doing silly things (except on purpose).

Perl is worse than Python because people wanted it worse.

Real programmers can write assembly code in any language.

One operator is no big deal. That can be fixed in a jiffy.

Being famous has its benefits, but fame isn't one of them.

You want it in one line? Does it have to fit in 80 columns?

What about writing it first and rationalizing it afterwards?

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