Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
Not Going Out' is what I'm most proud of.
I'm like a goldfish. My memory is terrible.
My kids would say I'm strict, but I don't think I am.
I've realised that my strength is writing around people.
I hate all adverts for alcohol. They're evil. All of them.
I have a very clear separation between my life and my work.
I don't look at comedy as a sliding scale of offensiveness.
I'm not a comedian who wants to spend far too long on stage.
I've never been able to keep my finger on the pulse of fashion.
I love buying things I wouldn't normally buy, especially cigars.
Comedy was an easy choice for me because I didn't have a career.
I would make it illegal to walk into a comedy club with a tie on.
I use Wikipedia and eBay; I look for singles for my 1950s jukebox.
My great-grandfather was a variety hall comedian called Billy Mack.
I don't understand why you would want to watch someone giving birth.
It's much harder to have a BBC One sitcom than to have a tour of stand-up.
I feel that I'm a stand-up comedian more than anything else, that's my job.
I really don't like reality television and the nonsense that comes with it.
I can remember weird things from way back, but not what I had for breakfast.
My family were nothing but pleased when I told them I wanted to be a comedian.
I've tried everywhere, but my garden shed is the most effective place to write.
In British sitcoms, you can get five minutes of nothing before the story starts.
It's always been my favourite show and I am on a mission to get on 'Doctor Who.'
Cancun - the locals were fantastic, but it was full of the worst kind of Americans.
Your voice determines people's perception probably more than your style or your jokes.
Telling lies is the easy bit, but telling the truth and pretending you are lying is hard.
My only ambition was to get to 50, and not regret not having had a crack at being a comic.
I'm a huge fan of stuff like 'Planet Earth' and the American sitcom 'Everybody Loves Raymond.'
If I am old-fashioned, it's not a conscious decision. I just do material that I think is funny.
Loads of blokes think they're funny, but it counts for nothing unless you get up and have a go.
Not Going Out's jokes were based on the American mentality in terms of how often the jokes appear.
If it's not a film in which Harrison Ford's wife is being kidnapped, I'm not interested; he's my hero.
I never have fixed subjects that I discuss on stage. I never go on with any particular subjects in mind.
I was 38 when 'Not Going Out' began, and I was playing a 34-year-old who had a thing about his landlady.
We're all basically decent human beings so if 3,000 people are laughing at a joke then it's worth telling.
Not Going Out' is a pretty neutral sitcom - to quote the 'Seinfeld' thing, it's not really about anything.
I have to say I like Edinburgh, but I'm not a big fan of the Festival - I like it but I'm not a massive fan.
When I was 24, I went back to the academic life and did a degree in film and television at Brunel University.
I bought myself a juke box with my first bit of TV money and since then I don't think I've ever really gone mental.
Yes, if I wasn't a happily married man with three children, Emma Bunton would definitely be my hot-tub fantasy date.
I used to tell people I was a comic and they'd be fascinated. Now all you get is: 'Oh yeah, my cousin Steve's a comic.'
Drinking and driving is safer than either drinking or driving - and no one has ever died drinking, driving and juggling.
The problem isn't that there's not enough women in panel games. The problem is there's not enough women in comedy in general.
There's nothing more damning in life than a child calmly and coldly saying, 'Are you aware that you're teaching me bad habits?'
I like Cornwall and particularly the Isle of Mull on the west coast of Scotland where I got married. It's absolutely beautiful.
I would say about 90 per cent of drunken idiots in comedy clubs wear ties, particularly in London where I work most of the time.
I'm on my own when I say this, but I'm one of the few people that think that 'Everybody Loves Raymond' is better than 'Seinfeld.'
I'm not opposed to the consumption of alcohol. I'm opposed to my kids watching TV at seven o'clock and being told to bet and drink.
Everyone talks about the gags, but the most difficult thing is coming up with the stories. You have to learn to do that for sitcoms.
I don't know the statistics, but I wouldn't be surprised to find out that a disproportionate number of comics come from broken homes.