Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
Time flies when you are anxious!
People get really irritated by mental illness.
When you're a comedian, you're just by yourself.
Schizophrenia is hearing voices, not doing voices.
The Internet makes everything much less mysterious.
If you stay alive for no other reason do it for spite
I love support groups, people talking about their feelings.
I have trouble watching singers because they are so sincere.
We’re all doing the best we can and sometimes it is not that good.
It's always the compliments from people you love that mean so much.
Younger and younger, our children are seeing the sippy-cup as half empty.
I never really thought of myself as depressed so much as paralyzed by hope.
I have a hard time with interviews, because I'd rather hear about the interviewer.
I've never really thought of myself as depressed so much as I am paralyzed by hope.
I have a comic character - my sister said that I'm the victim of every joke I tell.
I feel bad about that, that I worship celebrities... but their moods create weather.
I would've been able to write anything about mental-health crises had I not felt good.
Here's the Middle East. Here's the mosque, here's the church, open the temple, everybody's MAD!
I'm not technically rich, but I do have a lot of s**t that I don't need, that I refuse to share with others.
I'm not an extroverted person, nor am I hyper-confident in my point of view. I just don't have that personality.
I have received more fulfillment and adulation than I would ever know what to do with in terms of show business.
The thing that keeps the thoughts coming back is the power that you put in the thought that you can't think of it.
As far as I can tell, comedians are pretty serious people, and that's why they make fun of things all of the time.
Sometimes I worry I don't want to get married as much as I'd like to be dipped in a vat of warm, rising bread dough.
I express things through characters because I have a fear that my own voice is irritating because thats been said to me.
I express things through characters because I have a fear that my own voice is irritating because that's been said to me.
Even if you're disgusting, and everyone is creeped out by you and thinks you're gross, you know, keep doing what you love!
I find it creatively satisfying to write material and say it out loud in a public place, whether or not anyone's listening.
I think I, like a lot of people, have that type of brain where I find it interesting or fulfilling to worry about something.
When I'm up on stage and do a joke, half the people interpret it one way and half of them interpret it the way I want them to.
I think you can lose yourself in any creative activity - if you enjoy your job or enjoy a task, you can lose yourself in that.
Get out of your house and go see some live performance, for God's sake. There are people creating things just outside your window.
I'm not looking for much, I just want, like, a really nice guy who has, you know, like a job... and the missing half of this golden amulet.
I get sort of short with people and start grumbling and clearing my throat - in honor of my father - when I'm impatient. It's very charming.
I just love that part of comedy, where you see somebody's jokes develop. They try something new to see what works, and I just love that part.
Thirty ways to shape up for summer. Number one: eat less. Number two: exercise more. Number three: what was I talking about again? I'm so hungry.
My dad actually had business cards made up with my sister's website and my website and all of our information. And he hands them out to people he meets.
My mom doesn't post on Facebook, but she'll tell anyone within about the first five minutes of meeting them about my sister and I, in whatever way she can.
Some of my friends and family have tried to challenge me to do jokes that aren't as self-deprecating, where I genuinely express my own opinion in my own voice.
I do some compassionate mindfulness every day. It's like a Buddhist thing. I tell myself that I'm doing a good job, that kind of thing. It makes me feel better.
My therapist says I'm afraid of success. I guess I could understand that, because after all, fulfilling my potential would REALLY cut into my sitting-around time
I'd like to create a lovable character for schizophrenia; it doesn't have a celebrity spokesperson because by the time somebody's schizophrenic they've lost all their teeth.
I've been stopped a few times by people who want to say, 'Hi.' But I'm an introverted person, and the idea that I'd have to talk to people all the time seems a little overwhelming.
The bigger the crowds get, the more nervous I get. I actually am very comfortable with a half-filled room of people who are slightly disinterested and are irritated at a Barnes & Noble.
I love that vision-board thing where you cut out pictures that resonate with you so they'll manifest. I've done that since I was three; I cut out pictures of ladies from the JCPenney catalog.
My mom is very structured. She gets up, she does her prayers, and she eats her oatmeal with blueberries and Greek yogurt, and she has her prayer list, and she doesn't worry too much about things.
I think the Internet has made it easier for people to connect with things that they really like, as well as provide a more personal experience, of 'I found this!' and then you can pass it to friends.
I'm sort of shy, and Twitter feels like chatting all day with a group. I like to follow people. I'm following Joel Osteen, Steve Martin, and an anonymous purple egg - just to see where they go with it.
I like all kinds of comedy. I like comedy that doesn't talk about real beliefs or serious thoughts, but then I also like the stuff that does. I think it just depends. It's a completely personal choice.
I can't stand makeup commercials. 'Do you need a lipstick that keeps your lips kissable?' No, I need a lipstick that gets me equal pay for equal work. How about an eye shadow that makes me stop thinking I'm too fat?