It's good to be the king.

He who hesitates is poor.

I wish I was better looking.

'Mad About You' was very fun.

I only direct in self-defense.

Everything starts with writing.

We mock the things we are to be.

Good taste is the enemy of comedy.

The only weapon I've got is comedy

I like Chris Rock. He's dangerous.

I love writing songs. I'm a songwriter.

I knew it... I'm surrounded by assholes!

Immortality is a by-product of good work.

We rest our case on the production numbers.

It's talent. Either you got it or you ain't.

A lot of music is mathematics. It's balance.

That's it baby, if you've got it, flaunt it.

Now thyself is more important than “Know thyself.

Humor is just another defense against the universe.

Cat angels are the reason there are no mice angels.

I was in the army, and to me it was like a newsreel.

I don't have a mission. I don't have a torch to burn.

I've been accused of vulgarity. I say that's bullshit.

You want to be as smart as you can about being stupid.

If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us tickets.

Look, I had to take chances or it wasn't fun being funny.

Usually when a lot of men get together, it's called a war.

Ill just say whats in my heart: Ba-bump, ba-bump, ba-bump.

But I have bad taste with a deep fount of intellectuality.

My job is to go out and entertain the most people possible.

Anybody can direct, but there are only eleven good writers.

I loved Westerns as a little kid, and I loved horror films.

Everything we do in life is based on fear, especially love.

Don’t be stupid, be a smarty / Come and join the Nazi Party!

In every spoof I make real love to the things I am spoofing.

Tragedy is what happens to me; comedy is what happens to you.

Life literally abounds in comedy if you just look around you.

Bad taste is simply saying the truth before it should be said.

We want to get people laughing; we don't want to offend anybody.

Judd Apatow is pretty good, both as a producer and as a director.

Critics can't even make music by rubbing their back legs together.

The final test of fame is to have a crazy person imagine he is you.

Do you have a dollar on you? I hate to answer questions for nothing.

Writing is simply one thought after another dying upon the one before.

If presidents can't do it to their wives, they do it to their country.

Hope for the Best. Expect the worst. Life is a play. We're unrehearsed.

I don't believe in this business of being behind, better to be in front.

Every human being has hundreds of separate people living under his skin.

With the birth of the artist came the inevitable afterbirth... the critic

You got to be brave. If you feel something, you've really got to risk it.

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