Quotes by Sebastian Maniscalco - Page 1

I don't like a lot of clutter.
Sebastian Maniscalco /
Clutter
Like Lot
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When I was growing up, we dressed up for church.
Sebastian Maniscalco /
Church Growing Up Up
Dressed
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I was always taught how to dress for the occasion.
Sebastian Maniscalco /
Occasion
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If I can relate to the joke, it's going to be funny.
Sebastian Maniscalco /
Relate
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Food is kind of the conduit that brings people together.
Sebastian Maniscalco /
Brings
Conduit
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That's how my family bonded - eating and telling stories.
Sebastian Maniscalco /
Eating
Bonded
Telling
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I don't like long jokes. I like stories rather than setup punchlines.
Sebastian Maniscalco /
Setup
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Growing up in an Italian family, we used our body to convey a message.
Sebastian Maniscalco /
Family
Body
Growing Up
Italian
Italian Family
Used
Family Growing Up Up
Convey
Message
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I'm a very observational type of comedian that points out everyday absurdities.
Sebastian Maniscalco /
Absurd
Comedian
Everyday
Observational
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You go into Wal-Mart, and you see stuff you typically wouldn't see anywhere else.
Sebastian Maniscalco /
Anywhere Else
Wal-Mart
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I once did a flip-flop joke in San Diego, and I got booed... but it's all in good fun.
Sebastian Maniscalco /
Good Fun
San Diego
Diego
San
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I grew up in an immigrant household with an Italian father who came to the U.S. when he was 15.
Sebastian Maniscalco /
Italian
Immigrant
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I do reflect on it sometimes, going, 'Wow, if I knew what I knew now I would be such a better server.'
Sebastian Maniscalco /
Server
Wow
Reflect
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Everybody seems to be wasting their time online. There is such a narcissistic attitude. It's such a strange world.
Sebastian Maniscalco /
Narcissistic
Strange World
Wasting
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I developed a knack for storytelling early on around the kitchen table with my family. I just happen to be a funny guy.
Sebastian Maniscalco /
Funny Guy
Developed
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I'll never stop doing stand-up. There's nothing better than getting in front of 2,500 people and making an entire room laugh.
Sebastian Maniscalco /
Never Stop
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I go to Vegas now, and I'm in the casino, and I'm gambling, and there's a guy in a wet bathing suit gambling right next to me.
Sebastian Maniscalco /
Bathing
Gambling
Vegas
Wet
Me Right Go
Bathing Suit
Casino
Suit
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I used to devour a lot of stand-up comedy in my cousin's basement. He had cable and I didn't, so I went there and saw all the comedians.
Sebastian Maniscalco /
Cousin
Stand Up Comedy
Basement
Cable
Comedians
Devour
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I remember when I was young, I was watching TV, and my father came into the room, agitated, and told me to start a business. I was eight years old.
Sebastian Maniscalco /
Eight
Remember When
Watching Tv
Business Me Remember
Business Father Me
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I've never seen a weirder group of people than at the post office. It looks like people are crawling out from under rocks to go to the post office.
Sebastian Maniscalco /
Crawling
Looks
Office
Post Office
Rocks
Group
Post
Weirder
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My idea of fun would be to review the customers. I could give some customers one star, so that restaurateurs would know when they walked in not to serve them.
Sebastian Maniscalco /
Customers
Star
Review
Serve
Walked
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Every heckler is unique because they say something, and you react to what they say or what they're wearing or who they're with, so every response to a heckle is unique.
Sebastian Maniscalco /
Response
Unique
Because
Every
Say
Wearing
React
Something
They Say
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Sometimes it's cool to have banter with the audience. Occasionally, somebody will say something, and I'll say something right back, and everybody laughs, and it's funny.
Sebastian Maniscalco /
Laughs
Occasionally
Right Back
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The more comfortable I got onstage, the more comfortable I got expressing myself in a physical manner. And it almost shocked people - 'Oh, is there something happening?'
Sebastian Maniscalco /
Shocked
Myself People More
Expressing
Manner
Onstage
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My mother saw the magazine, and she was like, 'You made it.' I've been on Showtime and Comedy Central, but none of that matters - all that matter is that she sees me in 'People!'
Sebastian Maniscalco /
Showtime
Mother Me People
Me People Matter
Me People Comedy
Central
Comedy Central
Magazine
Sees
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People come to a show, then they go back to their neighborhood, and it has become like word-of-mouth. Everybody loves to turn somebody on to something. It kind of just snowballed.
Sebastian Maniscalco /
Neighborhood
Word Of Mouth
People Back Go
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We grew up in a middle-class family in Chicago. Even when we went on vacation as a family, it wasn't a really fun time, because my father didn't want to spend any money when we got there.
Sebastian Maniscalco /
Vacation
Chicago
Middle Class Family
Time Family Money
Family Time Money
Fun Time
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I'm like, 'Wow, I guess a lot of people didn't have this type of upbringing'... that old world technique of, you know, nothing's given to you, you've gotta work for everything you've done... It's just different from what I'm seeing today.
Sebastian Maniscalco /
Old World
Technique
Upbringing
Wow
Work Today World
Gotta
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It took me a good eight to ten years to really formulate what I was doing onstage and start to get really personal with comedy. I always really had timing naturally, it was just about trying to figure out how that timing was going to work onstage.
Sebastian Maniscalco /
Timing
Work Good Me
Naturally
Formulate
Onstage
Ten Years
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I like Las Vegas because it kind of gives me a chance to gauge my material in front of a very diverse group of people. There are a lot of different people in the audience, and you can kind of get a barometer for how your material plays throughout the country.
Sebastian Maniscalco /
Barometer
Diverse
Las Vegas
Vegas
Chance Your Me
Different People
Gauge
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The business of being told to earn a dollar, that no one is going to give you anything - that was kind of my mantra throughout my childhood, and now it's in my adult life. I find that people really tend to relate to the immigrant father, whether he be Italian, Greek, Spanish or whatever.
Sebastian Maniscalco /
Italian
Relate
Adult Life
Dollar
Earn
Immigrant
Mantra
Spanish
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One of my biggest pet peeves is when a guy's wearing flip-flop sandals, which I don't understand. Men's feet are disgusting to begin with, but now they're on display when I try to go out for a nice steak at a restaurant, and I have to sit there and look at some guy's hoof? I don't get it. I don't understand it.
Sebastian Maniscalco /
Pet
Disgusting
Display
Feet
Steak
Begin
Biggest
Wearing
Restaurant
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I give a facial expression in a moment of silence for audiences to react to what I just said and kind of let that marinate with the audience for a little bit. I enjoy the physical part of the comedy as much as the verbal content. People tend to gravitate to not only what they're hearing but also what they're seeing.
Sebastian Maniscalco /
Facial
Silence
Audiences
Gravitate
React
Verbal
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Although my values and my morals are old-school, you have to kind of key into the landscape of social media and how the world is progressing. I'd be a fool to sit there and go, 'Yeah, let's use the telephone to telemarket myself'... Social media is something that I definitely have to tap into, to another demographic.
Sebastian Maniscalco /
Fool
Landscape
Media
Social Media
Yeah
Although
Tap
Definitely
Demographic
Morals
Progressing
Sit
Telephone
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I started working full time as a comedian in 2005, shortly after we did the Vince Vaughn 'Wild West Comedy Show.' I worked at the Four Seasons hotel from 1998 to 2005, so about seven years, just trying to put some food on the table and pay the rent while I went out to the open mics and got my feet wet with stand-up comedy.
Sebastian Maniscalco /
Comedian
Hotel
Seasons
Stand Up Comedy
Wet
Wild West
Wild
Rent
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