Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
I'm a really good swimmer.
I'm in a glass case of emotion
If you ain't first, you're last!
Everyone I know who skis is dead.
I'm a cotton-headed ninny muggins.
I don't really think in absolutes.
Personal philosophy: Clothing optional
Inappropriate behavior makes me laugh.
Alcohol is like Photoshop for real life
There's nothing sexy about Orange County.
My wife and I always enjoy going for a jog.
Grief is nature’s most powerful aphrodisiac.
I’m just a big, hairy, American winning machine!
I would think beer and football go hand in hand.
I don't really have aspirations to be Tom Hanks.
I love playing the macho guy who looks like an idiot.
Aren't we all striving to be overpaid for what we do?
I don't even consider myself an impressionist, really.
No matter how much you screw up your life, you can fix it.
Sleep is so cute when it tries to compete with the internet.
Happens I am very political. I have deep political instincts.
There's always going to be someone as funny as you or funnier.
What about Santa's cookies? I suppose 'parents' eat those, too?
I'm a bit of a gourmet chef. I love cooking - mostly Thai food.
It's the fastest who get paid and it's the fastest who get laid.
There’s a benefit to losing, you get to learn from your mistakes.
Anyone who does anything creative is always gonna want to change.
I Was so Drunk, I Thought a Tube of Toothpaste Was Astronaut Food.
I often don't think a lot about the ramifications of anything I do.
I'm a Cancer; I'm music passionate. I like long walks on the beach.
I'm a Cancer; I'm music-passionate. I like long walks on the beach.
I guess ultimately a lot of comedians just wanna be taken seriously.
I think politics have gotten vulgar and we comedically portray that.
What’s the point of being bad when there’s nothing good to stop you?
The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear!
I want to thank Jesus, and by Jesus I mean Jesus Hernandez, my bodyguard
You want every movie to be a hit. But every painting isn’t a masterpiece.
I'm really an artist of feeling. I like creating things when it feels right.
I look good. I mean, really good. Hey everyone! Come and see how good I look!
I had never supported a political figure - and I went out and supported Obama.
You tend to get reluctant to talk about anything until the day before filming.
Now we have food networks and everything. CNN was the beginning of all of that.
I built a jail in my closet and I would incarcerate my family from time to time.
I was one of the richest rappers in 2008. But it was definitely a strange feeling.
I've always wanted to sail around the world in a handmade boat and I built a boat.
I guess destiny isn't the path chosen for us, but the path we chose for ourselves.
I think my new iPhone 5S is broken. I pressed the home button and I'm still at work
I've always wanted to sail around the world in a handmade boat, and I built a boat.
I just Fell Down the Stairs Holding a Guitar and Accidentally Wrote a One Direction Song
I still regret that I never played soccer in high school. I chose basketball over soccer.