Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
And suddenly I knew I was people and could not stop laughing.
Every law that was ever written opened up a new way to graft.
Never trust machinery more complicated than a knife and fork.
The intelligent fights only when he must and never for sport.
I am what I am and cannot be otherwise because of the shadows.
May you live as long as you wish and love as long as you live.
Have you ever noticed how much they look like orchids? lovely!
No matter where or what, there are makers, takers, and fakers.
It's a man's business to be what he is, and to be it in style.
A committee is a life form with six or more legs and no brain.
You can't conquer a free man; the most you can do is kill him.
Between being 'right' and being kind, I know which way I vote.
Never own more than you can carry in both hands at a dead run.
If a thing's worth doing, it's worth overdoing. (Lazarus Long)
As it says in Bible, God fights on side of heaviest artillery.
A generation which ignores history has no past — and no future.
A society that gets rid of all its troublemakers goes downhill.
When I don’t understand, I have an unbearable itch to know why.
Each man is his own prisoner, in solitary confinement for life.
Don't tell me violence doesn't solve anything. Look at Carthage.
It's amazing how much 'mature wisdom' resembles being too tired.
Money is a powerful aphrodisiac but flowers work almost as well.
Fulfillment in life is loving a good woman and killing a bad man.
A poet who reads his verse in public may have other nasty habits.
Son, the phrase is self-contradictory; "sense" is never "common".
Cheops' Law: Nothing ever gets built on schedule or within budget.
Progress is made by lazy men looking for easier ways to do things.
Another ingredient in a happy marriage: Budget the luxuries first!
The only thing privacy laws accomplish is making the bugs smaller.
As I have often said, electrons and gerbils don't cheat. People do.
Once upon a time there was a Martian named Valentine Michael Smith.
People usually believe anything that they are told early and often.
No statement should be believed because it is made by an authority.
Money is truthful. If a man speaks of his honor, make him pay cash.
Any priest or shaman must be presumed guilty until proved innocent.
Place your clothes and weapons where you can find them in the dark.
Self awareness is NOT just a bunch of amino acids bumping together.
If you wanted to teach a baby a lesson, would you cut its head off?
Happiness consists in getting enough sleep. Just that, nothing more.
Money problems can always be solved by a man not frightened by them.
Brainpower is the scarcest commodity and the only one of real value.
Never crowd youngsters about their private affairs - sex especially.
He's as weird as snake's suspenders but sweet as a stolen kiss, too.
Modern man lives increasingly in the future and neglects the present.
A boy who gets a C- in 'Appreciation of Television' can't be all bad.
The supreme irony of life is that hardly anyone gets out of it alive.
Anyone who considers protocol unimportant has never dealt with a cat.
It takes two to create a heaven, but hell can be accomplished by one.
Whores perform the same function as priests, but far more thoroughly.
Anyone can see a forest fire. Skill lies in sniffing the first smoke.