Jon Gabrus Quote: "There are some women and a lot of dudes who are ..."

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There are some women and a lot of dudes who are into my look, but I need to convey that I'm funny ahead of time. That's how I got laid. Every girl I've ever been with is because I was funny, not because they were into a 300-pound bearded, pale dudes.
Jon Gabrus /
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There are some women and a lot of dudes who are into my look, but I need to convey that I'm funny ahead of time. That's how I got laid. Every girl I've ever been with is because I was funny, not because they were into a 300-pound bearded, pale dudes.
⇛ Jon Gabrus ()

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I'm just used to leaving and being like, "I feel like I wasted their time and I definitely wasted my own time." I often leave auditions thinking that that person is now permanently mad at me.

Jon Gabrus

To improv-nerd-out for a second, it's like the most aggressive yes-anding you can do - if someone's like, "Yeah, you're super thin, right?" And you just pull that into a character and do seven more episodes of the podcast and remember to bring that up.

Jon Gabrus

Tumblr has a big community of bears and bear chasers. All my favorites on Tumblr and all the fan mail I get is all like, "We want to tickle you! What size shoe are you?" They're all like really big, heavyset, bearded guys who are like, "I want to ride your face like a motorcycle!"

Jon Gabrus

I came to the realization that I started dating my now-wife junior year of college, before you actually went on a date. You didn't take girls from college out to dinner. I've never been on a date. I've never been on a date where I didn't know the end game. I've never casually dated someone. I've only been out to dinner with the woman who would eventually be my wife.

Jon Gabrus

Modern art is what happens when painters stop looking at girls and persuade themselves that they have a better idea.

John Ciardi Poet

Having a daughter makes you see things in a different way. This is my only girl. So I don't care what it takes to protect her. You can call it what you want to call it. As long as you treat her the same way I treat her, like my princess, I don't mind.