This collection holds 23 funny simpsons quotes, drawn from writers, leaders, artists and thinkers across the QuoteForever archive. The most quoted voices here are Matt Groening, Homer and Dan Castellaneta.

They are ordered so that each author has a say before anyone repeats, which means the first page gives you the range of the topic rather than one writer's back catalogue.

Use the grid and list views to change how much of each quote you see, follow an author's name to read everything else they said, or open a quote on its own page to copy it, share it, or turn it into a picture quote.

The strong must protect the sweet.

Homer no function beer well without.

Operator! Give me the number for 911!

Art is what separates us from the animals.

Guilt, remorse. It's what separates us from the animals.

It's not whether you win or lose, it's how you place the blame.

Why, you could wake up dead tomorrow

Donuts. Is there anything they can't do?

Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races.

But you can't stop at one, you wanna drink another woman!

English? Who needs that? I'm never going to England.

Pffft, English. Who needs that? I'm never going to England.

Oh, loneliness and cheeseburgers are a dangerous mix.

If it doesn't have siamese twins in a jar, it is not a fair.

Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos.

Good things don't end in -eum; they end in -mania or -teria.

Aren't we forgeting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa.

I was working on a flat tax proposal and accidentally proved there was no God.

I thought I had an appetite for destruction, but all I wanted was a club sandwich.

I've always wondered if there was a God. And now I know there is -- and it's me.

But Marge, what if we chose the wrong religion? Each week we just make God madder and madder.

I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me, Superman. Homer Simpson

Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals... except the weasel.

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