The strong must protect the sweet.

Why, you could wake up dead tomorrow

Homer no function beer well without.

Operator! Give me the number for 911!

Donuts. Is there anything they can't do?

Art is what separates us from the animals.

English? Who needs that? I'm never going to England.

Oh, loneliness and cheeseburgers are a dangerous mix.

Guilt, remorse. It's what separates us from the animals.

But you can't stop at one, you wanna drink another woman!

Pffft, English. Who needs that? I'm never going to England.

If it doesn't have siamese twins in a jar, it is not a fair.

Good things don't end in -eum; they end in -mania or -teria.

Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos.

It's not whether you win or lose, it's how you place the blame.

I was working on a flat tax proposal and accidentally proved there was no God.

I've always wondered if there was a God. And now I know there is -- and it's me.

Aren't we forgeting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa.

I thought I had an appetite for destruction, but all I wanted was a club sandwich.

Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races.

But Marge, what if we chose the wrong religion? Each week we just make God madder and madder.

I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me, Superman. Homer Simpson

Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals... except the weasel.

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